There was a rumor that Kim Kardashian and Kanye West named their fourth child/Instagram accessory Bear West, which isn’t a terrible name since it sounds like the second largest bear party held in Palm Springs. But because “Bear West” isn’t pretentiously dumb enough to make everyone roll their eyes out of their sockets, and because Kanye West wants to continue his transformation into psycho religious cult leader, they have gone with: Psalm West. “That’s psalm psad and pstupid pshit!” is probably what God shouted in heaven.
And you may not have read what their newest baby’s name is since your soul got sucked into Kim’s red latex kamel toe of destruction. Consider yourself lucky.
Kim made the announcement with a text from Kanye that reads like a text from a spambot who is also a serial killer:
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Psalm West joins 5-year-old North, 3-year-old Saint, and 15-month-old Chicago as the child members of the Kult of Kanye. Psalm, North, Saint, and Chicago don’t even go together. They sound like they were pulled from random cards in a game of Password. But who knew 5 years ago that North would be the one to have the most normal name of the bunch?
It’s a good thing that Psalm is never going to go to a regular school with regular bullies who’d read his name and go, “Your mom and dad named you Pee-sam?! I’m surprised your mom didn’t name you Pee-ray-j.”
And thanks to that name, Psalm is destined to grow up as an atheist and will report the shady doings of the Kult of Kanye to the FBI and IRS and bring that entire shit down. Therefore, I approve of Psalm West!