The Royal Family is just like us! Well, one is anyway. Some of us (cough) are so obsessed with the royals that we’ll still be getting up early on Friday to tune into a non-BBC channel for the T.J. Maxx Royal Wedding, er, the nuptials of Princess Eugenie and her cousin (distant cousin…but still) Jack Brooksbank. Duchess Camilla will be doing the same thing since her ass isn’t even going to the wedding! While I was hoping it was because she was petty and had the BBC’s rules of “Prince Charles offspring only” for worthy royal weddings, but I guess she has a busy day of shaking hands ahead of her.
I just figured Camilla wasn’t invited because she tried to break these two up, too, but People is reporting that Camilla has a prior engagement in Scotland, so she won’t be heading down to Windsor Castle to watch THE QUEEN pretend like she’s vomiting on Prince Philip when Fergie walks by. Clarence House, the official residence of her and Charles, said in a statement that Camilla has “long-standing invitations.” Camilla will be attending an event close to where she and Charles have a house in Scotland along with a school visit. Those who WILL be in attendance at Eugenie’s wedding include Prince Harry and Duchess Meghan. Andrea Bocelli will sing, and my southern nethers started to weep in jealousy hearing Eugenie and Jack are having a red velvet wedding cake.
I’d be pissed as hell to meet a sweet treat like that, but Camilla is also expected to attend a harvest festival in Scotland, which really just sounds like an excuse to drink white wine with your gal pals without your bras on and dance around a fire to Taylor Swift music. Honestly, that sounds way better than even the most fun of royal weddings.