Charlie Sheen will go down in history as being a human public service announcement for why you shouldn’t blow all your money on porn stars and blow. Charlie has been involved in some serious financial fuckery as of late and is being chased by the scariest man any rich person could fear: The Taxman. Charlie is trying his hardest to pay back all the money he owes the government but it’s a bit tough when he doesn’t have many coins coming in.
The Blast is reporting that Charlie is challenging the IRS by claiming that they are not giving him a fair shot by giving him a huge million-dollar bill and not allowing him to use a payment plan. I bet he never even thought he would say the words “payment plan” when he was earning $100 million.
Documents show that Charlie petitioned the Tax Court to re-consider all the money he’s supposed to pay them. They filed a tax lien in April to the tune of $4.9 million and now that has grown to over $5.7 million. Charlie says that the commissioner at the IRS, a Mr. John Koskinen, is “abusing his power” by refusing him a payment plan agreement to repay the millions of dollars he owes.
Charlie has already been through a tax appeal hearing but he says that the officials working it were “dishonest during the proceedings” and he ended up with the short end of the stick. He claims that his lawyer was denied a continuance even though he was only hired on the day of the tax appeal hearing and that didn’t allow him to be prepared enough. Charlie also says that someone at the hearing lied about him, claiming that he had failed to pay his current taxes but assures them he was “indeed current.” Charlie claims this sullied his reputation and “hurt his chances of getting any leniency from the tax court.” Aw, privilege. Imagine thinking it’s unfair you’re being judged for not paying taxes by the people who find out who’s not paying taxes?
Charlie is now saying that all of these millions of dollars he owes is going to make it impossible for him to “conduct his normal business affairs” which in turn will “hinder his ability to obtain money.” Well, this is truly a brand new strategy. I’ve never before heard the argument: “You taking money from me will make it harder for me to make the money that I already owe you.” Gotta have money to make money, I guess. The petition for leniency, whether it works or not, is still a good idea for Charlie because it means collection efforts from the IRS will probably be paused until they come to a decision.
Charlie better come up with something quick. If Lindsay Lohan wasn’t busy trying to steal refugee children, I would suggest maybe asking her for that $100,000 you gave her. It’s not going to cover the bill but it’s a start. And for the rest, maybe you can hit up Denise Richards since she seems to not hate you and now has a regular paying job with the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Unfortunately I think you’re too poor for Andy Cohen to cast you as a series regular, but you could occasionally show up to cause mild drama for Denise and collect a lil check every now and then. Call it the Housewives Payment Plan.