Today in Broke Celebrity News, Charlie Sheen is claiming he is too poor to handle paying child support to both his exes, Denise Richards and Brooke Mueller. The Blast reports that Charlie filed some requests with the court system to adjust his child support payments, saying his finances are no longer insanely stuffed to the brim and he can no longer afford his children. This is why we need Sex Ed; too many washed up stars end up broke paying for child support. Who’s looking after these people? There oughta be some kind of program to help these men out.
According to Charlie: “I have been unable to find steady work, and have been blacklisted from many aspects of the entertainment industry.” Charlie’s expenses include paying newest Real Housewife Denise $20,000 a month for their daughters, Sam and Lola, and he pays Brooke $55,000 a month for their sons Bob and Max.
As for Charlie, he says he’s in a “dire financial crisis” claiming he has less than a measly $10 million in his bank account. That only sounds like a lot of money but Charlie used to make $1.8 million an episode when he was getting work. Wow. When poor people go broke it’s like: “I have zero dollars in my bank account. I’m overdrawn 67 cents.” Must be nice, Charlie. Oh, but it’s actually not. He also owes money to: lawyers, millions to the IRS and a home mortgage.
Charlie will have to wait until September to find out if he will go completely broke thanks to those mouths he’s bound by law to feed, but he should start taking some steps of action before then. Like, I don’t know, get a cheaper house, take a few Angels off your payroll, stop feeding Kobe beef and caviar to whatever animal lives on top of your head (the animal will do fine on Gravy Train). But to Charlie Sheen “going broke” probably means that his credit card got declined while trying to buy a $175,000 Mercedes for his latest porn star girlfriend. “Sorry, sir your card got declined.” “I’m broke, cut off the brats!”
Also, Charlie’s claim that he got blacklisted from the entertainment industry doesn’t make sense since last year he starred in the cinematic masterpiece of the century with Whoopi Goldberg and Gina Gershon. Request denied!