And not the kind of breeders who dim the lights and get two dogs to make puppies. At least, I don’t think Blake Lively has gotten into the purebred puppy game. Unless she registered a new breed of dog called a Teacup Wellidoodleclare that I wasn’t aware of.
According to Blake Lively, she and Ryan Reynolds are on their way to becoming the next Duggars. Cross-border Barbie and Ken currently have a one-and-a-half year old daughter named James and another one inside of Blake’s breedin’ parlor (I’m guessing that’s what she calls her uterus). Blake said that they’re not stopping at two and joked yesterday on the Today show that she and Ryan are fixin’ to have a million youngins’ because breeding is in their blood.
“I’m one of five kids. My husband is one of four, so we’re officially breeders. You can go on our website and we will give you some of our children.”
Blake’s going to have to be a little more specific about that website. I know she’s not talking about Preserve.us, because that will direct you to a 404 error. Wherever website they decide, I’m sure each child will come wrapped in a hand-woven muslin dish towel and delivered by a horse-drawn carriage in an antique white-washed wicker basket with a freshly-baked pullman loaf and mason jar of small-batch buttermilk.
Blake also talked about the one kid she already has, and apparently she’s putting Ryan’s LOL-making ass out of a job.
“She’s always doing something fun and exciting. She’s the most fun, funny human being I’ve ever been around in my life.”
I wonder what kind of stuff James is doing that is so fun and exciting? “My goodness, Ryan! You’ll never guess what Miss James did today. She put on a cotillion ball for her stuffed animals, and forgot to provide refreshments! Then she stepped on the hem of her petticoat and fell into the divan! Ah must say, I was positively in stitches.”
Here’s more of Breeder Lively looking like Cocktail Waitress Smurf while leaving her hotel in New York yesterday.