The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNERS For April 29th!

Kanye made the Louvre showcase one of Kim’s old butt implants. It’s authentic given the dimples and hair. – sarcasticlawyer

Upvote winner:

Kardashianoma – a malignant tumor on the soul of America. – Annobanano

via PIU

Hot Slut Of The Day!

Wilson, the NOT THE ONE monkey who slapped Deborah Duncan of Great Day Houston in the face for fucking with him. The uprising continues!

Wilson the capuchin monkey and his kind of asshole-y keeper were on KHOU’s Great Day Houston to discuss his illustrious career (he was in Dr. Doolittle) and the Staples Safari Zoo when the show’s host Deborah Duncan thought it would be a wonderful idea to tease his ass with a grape. Deborah was really not right for that. Wilson has been through a lot. Wilson was forced to do scenes with Eddie Murphy and he’s forced to wear that stupid ass little red polo shirt and that diaper like he’s Justin Bieber. The last thing he needs is some morning host teasing him with a grape. So Wilson reacted by switching up the phrase “spanking the monkey” and he spanked Deborah in the face.

After Deborah apologized to that slapping monkey, Wilson’s keeper didn’t even try to step in and instead spit out a joke: “I think you just got told by a monkey.”

And HSOTD runner-up goes to Deborah Duncan’s white hot eyeshadow.

via The Daily Mail

Birthday Sluts

Cloris Leachman (88)
Dianna Agron (28)
Gal Gadot (29)
Kirsten Dunst (32)
Kunal Nayyar (33)
Amanda Palmer (38)
Johnny Galecki (39)
Jeff Timmons (41)
Adrian Pasdar (49)
David Miscavige (54)
Stephen Harper (55)
Lars Von Trier (58)
Michael Wright (58)
Jane Campion (60)
Burt Young (74)
Willie Nelson (81) Yes, Willie Nelson gets TWO birthdays, because he’s Willie Nelson. And because, he was born just a few minutes before midnight on the 29th and his birth wasn’t recorded until after midnight. So his birthday is now a two-day celebration. Toke up!

Naya Rivera Was Probably Fired From Glee

Almost two weeks ago, TMZ said that the fourth place loser of a Barbra Streisand sound-alike karaoke contest Lea Michele and the prototype for a Kim Kardashian Bratz doll Naya Rivera were both involved in a messy situation on the Glee set that ended with one of them dramatically leaving the set. Blind Gossip also had a blind item about how Naya’s engagement to Big Sean ended after one of her co-stars (hmmm, I wonder who that was?) hopped on his tube pillow dick. Well, this morning PopWrapped (via NYDN) said that Naya was told to pack up her new face and get the fuck out of there.

A source (Hi, Lea!) says that Naya’s trailer was packed up and she was told she won’t be in the season 5 finale and won’t be in season 6, which is the final season, at all. Their source (Hi again, Lea!) said that Lea had nothing to do with Naya getting pink slipped and it was the producers’ decision. Kristin at E! also said that Naya won’t be in the season 5 finale, but she wasn’t fired and no decision has been made about Naya being in the final season. A “show insider” told Kristin that Naya was supposed to be in the season 5 finale, but she was written out of the script and the change has nothing to do with Lea. The “show insider” also said this:

“We love Naya and want only the best for her. Hopefully we can work it out. We all needed a moment. [This break is] best for everyone.”

The inside source went on to say, “And if Naya doesn’t come back, we always have Lea. Lea’s beauty and talent can carry the rest of the season and can carry the final season. In fact, if every cast member but Lea left the show, the show would be better because of it. Lea is Glee and we should really just change the title to Glea. And..and…and OH GOD, Lea, please don’t threaten to sing another Barbra Streisand song into my ear. I said what you told me to say! Please! MERCY!”

Oh, It’s Just RiRi’s Nipples Again

If an Amish person, an alien or a squirrel who suddenly learned human communication skills told you that they’ve never been on the Internet before and asked you what should they know before they go in, give them dozens of links to pictures or RiRi’s tits before saying, “Get to know these well. You’re going to see them a lot.”

RiRi gave French magazine Lui what she gives her Instagram followers almost daily (well, maybe not anymore): pierced nip and ass action. The NSFW version of the cover is here and it feels weird calling RiRi’s tits NSFW since I’m sure your entire work and beyond has already seen them a million times over. In Lui’s spread, RiRi didn’t only show nips and 80s tan lines, she also popped her ass in the air like she was an 18-year-old blond twink at a Bryan Singer party and Kevin Spacey just yelled, “Butts ups! Daddy’s hungry!”

You know I’m all for chick pop stars like RiRi and Miley showing their tits and ass all the time, but what about the dude pop stars? When are we going to open up some French magazine and see some dude pop star greased up and sprawled out with his untanned dick lying on top of his over-tanned thigh? Whatever happened to equality? When are we going to see that? By the way, the sprawled out dude pop star I pictured in my head was Engelbert Humperdinck. You too, right?

Here’s more of RiRi’s NSFW ho shit in Lui magazine.

Night Crumbs

The Tony nominations came out this morning. Doogie Howser for one for Hedwig and James Franco got zero for Of Mice and Men. I’m sure he’s personally handwriting, “FUCK YOU, LITTLE BITCH” notes to each and every Tony voter – Towleroad

Jennifer Lawrence’s middle finger and the paps: the love story continues… – Lainey Gossip 

Movies about princesses starring Australian actresses are really taking off! I can’t wait for that Duchess Kate biopic starring Rose Byrne. – Celebitchy

Ellen Page’s abs on Flare Magazine – Drunken Stepfather

Jonah Hill and a gallon of fried cake crumbs in a frozen yogurt bucket: the love story continues… – The Superficial

Willie Nelson has another black belt to go with his black belt in toking – IDLYITW

Porsha Stewart Williams Whatever Her Last Name Is claims that Kordell Stewart beat her – Reality Tea

RIP Nuts Magazine, you are no in heaven, taking pictures of the angels in their panties – Hollywood Tuna

Two words: BLAME MILEY – Jezebel

“Eyes up, eyes up, eyes up” is what Ryan Reynolds is repeating to himself as this picture of him and Gemma Arterton’s chichis is being taken – Popoholic

A helpful list of what NOT to name your kid if you’re popping one out this year – The Berry

Game of Thrones to show less pussy in the next 6 episodes – Pajiba

Olivia Munn and Robocop are done with doing each other – ICYDK

If you squint and press your wide open eyes up against the screen, you can almost make out a sliver of Josh Hartnett’s ass crack – OMG Blog

FINALLY, Malcolm in the Middle speaks out about that Clippers mess – HuffPo

Finnick Odair’s nips: here they are – Popsugar

I think a flea jumped into my eye when I clicked on one of these pictures of a hobo-ized Jake Gyllenhaal – Just Jared

Dear Savannah Guthrie and Matt Lauer, please keep your foot fetish fuckery to yourselves – SOW