At Least Ojani Noa Still His Calendar

Sad Ojani Noa is sad, because a judge has once again shat on his plans to use an 11-hour “sexy tape” he made with his ex-wife JLo for a mockumentary about his life. The judge officially blocked Ojani from releasing the tape and said he will go to jail if he releases even a second of it. JLo’s lawyers will return to court to make the injunction permanent.

After the judge dick slapped him in the face again, Ojani Noa shuffled out of the courtroom with his thumb in his ass and tears on his sasquatch brows. Ojani cried to the reporters outside of the court house, “They’re trying to stop me from making my documentary and I’m fighting for my rights. They’re not being fair. It’s not about the money. It’s about my life.” Ojani says he plans to continue with his $100 million against JLo. In the meantime….

Ojani whipped out a calendar he made using the second best disposable camera on the market and the finest paper Kinko offers. Apparently, he’s going to try to sell that shit next week. Unfortunately, the proceeds will not go towards the “Get This Hairy Bitch Some Hot Tweezers Fund.” Ojani is selling it, because his checking account has flatlined.