Ashlee Simpson and her husband Evan Ross, known to us as Miss Diana Ross’ son, are continuing to milk money out of their family names by doing a reality show for E!, which premieres next month. To promote her show, Ashlee talked to E! News and I guess Evan was busy doing something because he doesn’t get quoted at all. Ashlee has been out of the game for a while. Her last album came out in 2008 and her MTV show ended three years before that. Ashlee talked about getting back into music, but who cares about that when she talks about the cringeworthy moment most of us know her from.
That picture of Jessica Simpson’s daddy Papa Joe Simpson was taken about two months ago, and he has many reasons to be smiling. One, he’s holding what looks like a really fun present. Two, he knows how good he looks in that duochrome blouse and coordinating plaid duster vest. Three, because he was winning the battle against cancer.
Back in November, Papa Joe’s reps confirmed he had been treated for prostate cancer. Papa Joe made an appearance at the Freedom United Foundation Presents Art With a Cause event last Thursday night, and he told UsWeekly that he’s in the clear.
“I’m coming back!” he exclusively told Us at the party. “I went from Stage IV to cancer free! I feel good,” he said. “I beat it. I have zero cancer!”
Papa Joe reportedly finished cancer treatments in the middle of March, and at the time a source was saying the cancer had gone away.
One of UsWeekly’s sources claimed that his diagnosis reunited Papa Joe with his family (apparently Jessica and Ashlee Simpson weren’t that close with Ol’ PJ in the past few years). So it’s nice that he was given a new chapter with Jessica and Ashlee. And I’m glad to hear Papa Joe is all good now, and that’s he’s coming back. He deserves a comeback! And maybe I’m saying that for selfish reasons. I recently listened to A Public Affair, which lead me down a shame hole to Outta My Head (Ay Ya Ya), and I was like “Okay, more please.” If anyone can influence Jessica and Ashlee that they’ve got the voices and stage presence to record new music, it’s charismatic taste maker Papa Joe.
And for once, nobody is looking at Chestica Simpson’s chichis, because our eyeballs are too busy taking in Papa Joe’s Bieber circa 2009 mop and his Chess King glamour.
Youth minister turned stage dad turned alleged sugar daddy turned twink photographer Papa Joe is now recovering after being treated for cancer. Papa Joe’s rep confirmed to People that cancer fucked with his prostate and he was diagnosed two months ago. InTouch Weekly’s sources that say it’s pretty serious. They claim Papa Joe has stage 4 cancer and it’s spread to his lymph nodes. But People’s source says that Papa Joe is feeling good and is already back to work as a photographer.
Papa Joe apparently underwent prostate surgery and it went well. The internet tells me that surgery for prostate cancer involves removing the entire prostate gland. No more prostate milking fun for Papa Joe, but that’s a teeny tiny price to pay. People’s source said this about his recovery:
“He’s feeling great now and is optimistic. He’s felt so much love and support from his family and friends.”
And here’s to Papa Joe continuing recovery, because we need him to keep spreading the high fashion glamour one vintage International Male outfit at a time.
Speaking of people you haven’t really thought of since the MTV days of mid-2000s. Hot Topic’s unofficial mascot Avril Lavigne has been split up from Canada’s original shame (sorry Bieber) Chad Kroeger for almost a year. It appears that she’s finally ready to love again, and it looks like she’s chosen someone who is also taking forever to grow out of their ~sO eDGy~ pop punk mall rat phase.
Jessica Simpson may be the Simpson who has a billion dollar fashion empire, but Papa Joe is the one who is the fashion icon of the Simpson family. Case in point: Whatever the hell he’s wearing.
Papa Joe hit Barney’s New York in Beverly Hills yesterday with his modeling “client” Jonathan Keith and I’m sure he spent a good chunk of his allowance from Jessica on the finest outfits from the Haus of Mid-Life Gay Crisis. I know, spoken like a true bitter ass bitch. Because while I’m sitting here in stained sweat shorts and a Piggy Wiggly t-shirt, Papa Joe is making the fashion Gods squirt tears of happiness by wearing a hot ensemble that a Japanese boy band member probably wore in the early aughts. Work that lattice tunic, Papa Joe!
Yesterday in Greenwich, CT, a trick who is only semi-famous because of her sister married a trick who is only semi-famous because of his mom. 29-year-old Ashlee Simpson made 26-year-old Evan Ross her second husband at his mom’s estate. I figured that Diana Ross would pull a stage 10 Marky Mark and not show up to the wedding, because she had to meet with her lawyers to fast-track papers legally emancipating herself from Evan Ross for dragging her into that crazy family. But Diana Ross was there and she planned the whole wedding and performed. Miss Ross has gone insane.
UsWeekly says that Asshole wore a pearl-embellished, long-sleeved wedding gown and $750,000 worth of Neil Lane jooree including a tiara. Nobody really cared what Ashlee was wearing, because they were too busy gasping at the pretty-faced beauty of Evan Ross and the bow tie-shaped pube bush on his chin. Jessica Simpson was Ashlee’s matron of honor and her kids, Maxwell and Ace, were the flower girl and ring bearer. After the ceremony, Ashlee cut the cake with her chin and Diana Ross performed. Diana Ross performing at her son’s wedding reception makes sense, because: a) she’s Diana Ross and performing is her OXYGEN and; b) the more time she spent at the mic meant the less chances Ashlee had to get up on stage to “sing” to her groom.
UsWeekly has zero details about the only Simpson we care about: PAPA JOE! Bronx Mowgli walked Ashlee down the aisle, not Papa Joe. Ashlee is such a transparent bitch. I see what she did there. Ashlee knew that if Papa Joe walked her down the aisle, his glamorous ensemble (an ivory leather suit, a white fishnet tank, silver alligator sandals and a rhinestone headband) would take all the attention away from her who cares ass and Evan would want to marry Papa Joe instead and then the Ross family fortune would never be hers! It’s the only smart decision Ashlee has ever made.
And here’s pictures of Diana Ross looking like an exploding Muppet tampon while performing last year. I’m choosing to believe that this is what she wore to the ceremony.