Michael Lohan Kanye'd Mark Heller's Press Conference
You can almost hear the words, "I will kick you the vagina," jumping out of his shout hole.
I can't find video of it, but the best moment from Lindsay Lohan's Fun Time Court Hour happened after she pleaded no contest and a judge sentenced her to 90 days in a spa. Lindsay Lohan's tiny and tanned lawyer, Mark Heller, held a press conference afterward where he spewed all kinds of ridiculousness like she doesn't have a substance abuse problem and she's going to come out of this with dignity and grace. It's like his tiny tongue was possessed by White Oprah. Mark Heller kept yammering on and then he nearly jumped out of his Underoos when Michael Lohan started screaming at him from off camera. When Michael Lohan got closer to the podium, Mark Heller ran the hell out of there. It was like watching my chihuahua jump and run for cover when a car backfires.
After Mark Heller ran back to his office in the Keebler Forest, Michael Lohan got on the mic and farted at the mouth about how Mark Heller is just using Lindsay Lohan for attention and is going to lose his license to practice law. Michael, who's about as reliable as a crumbly piece of dried dog shit, claims that Mark Heller never kept LiLo updated during plea deal negotiations and committed an illegal act by tampering with a witness. TMZ says that the Santa Monica Attorney is investigating Mark Heller for allegedly trying to get LiLo's assistant Gavin to lie on the stand. Mark allegedly wanted Gavin to say he was the one driving the Porsche that crashed into a semi.
Michael Lohan ended the press conference he hijacked by saying that rehab is the best place for LiLo and then he pulled out a Styrofoam cup and asked the reporters to drop a few coins in there, because he can't afford to pay for parking. I love how Michael Lohan is telling Mark Heller to stop using his daughter for publicity when he's up there using his daughter for publicity. Michael Lohan is the only one who can shout his daughter's name while humping on the spotlight.
Here's some pictures of the sunburnt turtle getting ragey outside of the court house and also some pictures of LiLo redefining the phrase "rode hard and put away wet."
• 
I think it's obvious she has a pretty huge drug problem . She can't show up to work or flights because she's too busy getting one more hit in . She looks like a heroin addict to me . I bet she can't go more than two hours without a fix of some sorts . It doesn't matter if she goes to rehab and goes on methadone or suboxone for three months , she will go right back to shooting up or smoking up , the minute she gets out .
She looks horrible . I'm going to guess a combo heroin and coke/speed type issue .
You can tell that she feels like she's in charge but she has no clue that everyone thinks she's a joke . I wish she'd hit rock bottom already and turn into a decent person .
Why does she get 45 days to run around getting drunk and wasted before she has to go to rehab. Did they take her passport? Cause her ass will probably be over in Dubai getting shit on for an eight ball the day she is supposed to report to rehab if they didn't. They should have hauled her right out of the courtroom and dropped her into a hardcore rehab facility,not Promises or some other spa.
Submitted by Ophelias evil twin on Tue, 03/19/2013 - 11:33am.
I see. Then she's clearly learned an important life-lesson after her brush with the law.
..........
Foals, Inhaler
Submitted by RandéSleepover on Tue, 03/19/2013 - 11:28am.
Submitted by Ophelias evil twin on Tue, 03/19/2013 - 11:25am.
"This hooker" means Linds?? Who'd want to drink whatever she drinks?
--------------------------------
yes I meant Hohan -- if it walks like a hooker and talks like a hooker.. then.... lol ;) She was out last night trying get into some club apparently.
Submitted by Ophelias evil twin on Tue, 03/19/2013 - 11:25am.
"This hooker" means Linds?? Who'd want to drink whatever she drinks?
..........
Foals, Inhaler
Submitted by RandéSleepover on Tue, 03/19/2013 - 11:14am.
Mr. Pink is owned by an LA parent called Kings International Investment Group LLC, which is into a bit of everything
-------------------------------------------------
I was just reading about this hooker using Mr. Pink's Escalade last night to go club hopping. Same old same old.
Mr. Pink is owned by an LA parent called Kings International Investment Group LLC, which is into a bit of everything: "non-alcoholic premium beverages; ultra-premium tobacco products; fuel-enhancing additives; fashion; entertainment and investment securities." The registered agent is a Century City lawyer named Farhad Novian.
Someone earlier suggested a connection with Millions of Milkshakes, but that's owned by one Sheeraz Hasan, who's not shy about showing his face.
..........
Foals, Inhaler
Submitted by not shocked on Mon, 03/18/2013 - 8:44pm.
she looks like a busted craiglist hooker who took some vicoden to tone down her tweek during her sentencing
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
TRUTH.
----------------------------------------
Thunder only happens when it's rainin
Players only love you when they're playin
Submitted by Migraineuse on Tue, 03/19/2013 - 9:20am.
Men have been conditioned to respond with sexual aggression when they see a woman in a degraded or vulnerable position. See also the Steubenville rape.
===============================================
Yes of course we have, you are FUCKING BRILLIANT!
Every thing you say is the TRUTH! Let's KILL ALL SCUMBAG MEN, WE ARE ALL RAPIST...
Michael Lohan is a turd circling the drain. Shouldn't the parent of 5? 6? 7? kids (one of which is a newborn) be working during the day rather than screaming at cameras on the opposite side of the country from his baby and the rest of his family?
Submitted by Hekki on Tue, 03/19/2013 - 6:52am.
It's interesting that the last pic makes the female Dlisters sad and it makes the men horny.
_______________________________________
Men have been conditioned to respond with sexual aggression when they see a woman in a degraded or vulnerable position. See also the Steubenville rape.
*______________________________________*
Submitted by Darknight on Fri, 11/09/2012 - 4:27pm.
THE TRUTH. Making the world a better place.
I don't wish anything bad for her, but seriously how long before you read that she died of some sort of OD because she had an entire family exploiting her for their gains? She really needs help, not a mom and dad that have ridden her coattails to be TMZ celebs. She's pretty pathetic at this point, and I almost feel sorry for her. Looking at her parents it's not so difficult to see why she's such a fuck up.
Submitted by lislop on Tue, 03/19/2013 - 6:38am.
he gave lindsay the "mr pinky"
Submitted by Hekki on Tue, 03/19/2013 - 6:52am.
It's interesting that the last pic makes the female Dlisters sad and it makes the men horny.
what??? for realz? as long as I live, Hekki, I will never fully understand what makes their dick tick.
I was just reading that Hohan can be stopped and searched any old time the law feels like it. This is going to be a long road for her. She should have taken jail.
It's interesting that the last pic makes the female Dlisters sad and it makes the men horny.
Submitted by loopygorilla on Mon, 03/18/2013 - 11:57pm.
lindsay looks like she got fucked by Mr Pink and his friends on the 5 hour private jet flight from NYC to LA.
_______________________________________
No doubt. The owner might be a Chinese billionaire. That might be him in the blue shirt and white pants. Even from the back he looks gross ... and that's his good side. Ughhhh!!!!!!!!!!
http://mjandjustice4some.blogspot.com/2012/10/mr-pink-drink-whos-that-ch...
I ALMOST feel sorry for her especially in the last pic but then I remembered what a selfish, disrespecful narcissist she is. She is more afraid of jail so she chose door #2. So when does she enter lock down rehab? I don't see anything mentioned on the Lindsay news mothership (TMZ)..
She's high in the eyes, especially in that last thumb.
Damn! I've been at work all day and night and just saw these pics. Lets face it, she's dead on the inside and she kind of likes it.
Fuck she looks like she is in major Struggletown.
So the judge advised her to not drive, You mean she still has a licence? How the fuck is that possible?
Angry turtle...
Monday, 1:15 a.m.
Mr. Pink: "Hal, it's Pink. You asleep?"
Hal (groggily): "Just, uh, relaxing, boss. What's up?"
Mr. Pink: "Look, sorry to bother you this late, but I need a favor. Need you to fly up to JFK to pick up an important client."
Hal: "No problem, boss. I can be there in under an hour. Who is it? Where are we going?"
Mr. Pink: "LA. Big rush. Can you get there by 8 a.m.? Very important client."
Hal: "Should be doable. Who is it?"
Mr. Pink: "Uh, Lindsay Lohan? Very big name for the brand."
*silence*
Hal: "Boss, the left engine's been acting up. Don't like the sound of it. Don't think it'd be safe to push it till we can have her checked out."
I bet there was a good time had by all on that private jet...
"Just look at all the fucks I give!"
HOT MESS! HOT MESS! lol.
"Just look at all the fucks I give!"
SOOOOOooooooo..... Lindsey didn't go to jail?
BOW DOWN BITCHES!!!!!!!!! BOW BOW BOW DOWN BITCHES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
No I'm really jealous of this heifer, I did a birthday weekend for a simple possession charge (1g). This cunt Is running amok all around America, for years! and she gets to go to rehab?
May her next line be baby aspirin. bitch
**************************************
A good pimp never tells.-M.K.
and dina and that faux charity event looked better than hohan.
when your mother looks younger and fresher than you, girl you got problems.
lindsay looks like she got fucked by Mr Pink and his friends on the 5 hour private jet flight from NYC to LA.
her hair, her make up, everything screams, i just got fucked or at least finger banged.
Whamo,
While Michael Lohan has advocated rehab, he has also blamed everyone around Lindsay for Lindsay's problems. He also makes $$$ for selling stories and commenting about LL's various legal and career problems. He also claims that the reason Lindsay's career has collapsed is because he isn't in her life full time.
What Michael wants is to be in control of Lindsay, what's left of Lindsay's career and make money through her. I also think he wants to be back with White Oprah in some way.
Come at me bitch!
Shirley Maclaine said of Lohan: "You know, her conversation was 90% about her upbringing. Her parents. Now, she's also a master manipulator, and it's not hard to figure out I'm interested in all that stuff, so she was maybe using it.
"I can't advise any of the young ones, because I don't know what their background was, but I would suggest that anyone who wants to be famous more than anything - there's a real problem."
When asked whether a fame-hungry person can succeed if they possess genuine talent, the veteran star said: "Well, that's her. But... too much damage as a child."
@ Ms Fury......too bad it doesn't make you poop :P
Got this from the boards on TMZ:
This was on CNN's website:
She's spent 250 days in five rehab facilities since January 2007, including one long court-ordered stint after a failed drug test.
The actress has appeared in court at least 20 times before four Los Angeles judges who have now found her in violation of probation six times and sentenced her to a total of nine months in jail.
Lohan has spent about two weeks behind bars in six trips to the Los Angeles County jail, served 35 days under house arrest and worked about 67 days of community service at the county morgue.
And now she's got more to do.
Unbefuckinglievable.
Michael's primary motivitation is $$$$$$$$$$$. What does the guy do for a living besides feeding the media stories and pictures about Lindsay??? He, like Dina, use her for money.
She looks drugged. They should have tested her after she left court.
She will wake up one day when it's too late and realize that she just spent one half of her life just trying to turn the other half around.
............................................
If anyone is going to pee on him it's going to be me.- Nicole Kidman
She looks like she's had the shit kicked out of her.
Maybe she's realized what an ass she has been wasting her youth, good looks, money, talent, people who liked her... and now she's going to jail, again. I'm not a fan, in fact other than Mean Girls, I don't think I ' ve seen any of her movies, but I hope this finally makes her wake up & pull herself together. Or not...whatever...
Also, she needs someone to tell her to wash her hair.
Submitted by Dog on Mon, 03/18/2013 - 8:41pm.
Submitted by Whamo on Mon, 03/18/2013 - 8:36pm.
Hello Doogggiedolittledarling:) :P :D
Did you have a good doggie day? :)
^^^^^^^^^^^
I almost always do! How you be, handsome?
======================================
*triple vom*
________________________________
Dark-sided!
She looks like she is ready to go...
@ Doggie...plugging away, work has been steady I suppose. I'm just waiting for a couple more weeks to pass and have it warm up a bit because then I can go fishing. I get a little buggy this time of year because it's just right around the corner. Over the years there are a group of us that see each other out on the pier and it's always fun to meet back up with the gang. We have about 4 weeks of both trout and salmon runs where if we get a good run it's great fishing. Trout are just great fighters and if you're fishing with light tackle it's crazy fun. After that it's just nice lazy spring evenings, a perfect way to spend weekday evenings.
That Mark Heller reminds of Valentino, a less orangey Valentino.
I can agree that Michael is partly motivated by a desire to protect or save his daughter. But he's even more motivated by a desire to trash his ex.
He's prolly not himself the right guy for the job, but he could have gotten a conservator appointed long ago à la Britney's dad.
Submitted by TrashyWilma on Mon, 03/18/2013 - 8:42pm.
TRUTH. Girl is wasted, even for her.
I do love the fact that she turned down the 30 day rehab plea bargain and now has to do 90. Not only because it's fair, but because it could save her life. The LA court system is just begging her to off herself by letting her slide. And Michael Lohan is the biggest pos ever but at least he seems to get that part.
Submitted by Whamo on Mon, 03/18/2013 -
...I don't want to suggest he's any sort of good father other than he has stayed on point for a long time about insisting she does in fact have substance abuse issues... I guess my point is as bad as he goes about it he's willing to stand and shout from the rooftop...listen, my daughter needs to be locked up and cleaned out, this is the same thing we've all been saying but he's the one parent that's willing to say it out loud.
The other thing I don't really agree with is the idea that Lindsay is somehow a paycheque to Michael... there is no money to give, she wouldn't give it anyway..
--------------------------------------
Agreed. I think there was a time when he was out to use her but something changed. Probably seeing how low she was quickly falling and how unsalvageable her career was becoming. Anything he does will earn him contempt so he may as well be despised for trying to do the right thing after personally failing her and knowing it.
she looks like a busted craiglist hooker who took some vicoden to tone down her tweek during her sentencing
@Mimi
I have that album (I was 9!) that album cover must be during the early days of photoshop. I listened to it last year going through my CD collection, well the 5 that I own, it sucks donkey balls.
..."POPEMON: Gotta bless 'em all"
"The artist formerly known as pope"-Stephen Colbert...
Submitted by Whamo on Mon, 03/18/2013 - 8:36pm.
Hello Doogggiedolittledarling:) :P :D
Did you have a good doggie day? :)
^^^^^^^^^^^
I almost always do! How you be, handsome?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
She's got the same vacant stare Anna Nicole had in her infamous clown video.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xgsUI9uoPvY
Usually Lilo hides it well, but she looks like she's ready to nod off here. Cracked lips and watery, dead eyes. That last pic actually makes me sad.
How soon before W.O. one-ups MiLo and crawls back to Dr. Phil, pleading for an interview where she can go off on Heller and his "little tie" and "little shoes"?
Lilo released an album called "Speak" in 2004, so technically she qualifies as a musician:
http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Speak_(Lindsay_Lohan_album)
The picture of her on the cover looks NOTHING like the monstrosity she is now. What a fucking waste.
ETA: I thought web page URLs automatically became links? What did I fuck up? Well, you get the idea. You copy & paste or Google "Lindsay Lohan album" if you like. Seriously, that picture doesn't even look like the same person. She has ruined herself.
Hello Doogggiedolittledarling:) :P :D
Did you have a good doggie day? :)
she should just die already
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
http://tinyurl.com/69rcrqy