Kleptohan Is Blaming The Black Kid Again
Dlisted guest blogger extraordinaire Sweetas e-mailed me last night about Kleptohan's latest act of thievery and she totally called when she said that crackburglar will cry out, "It's in the black girl's twat!" Because TMZ says that Lindsay Lohan is pointing her sticky finger straight at Suge Knight's son Andrew Knight. You're probably not reading any of this, because as soon as you saw that picture of Andrew Knight, you immediately turned around to let him see that thong.
LiLo has reached deep up into her ass and pulled out one of her old excuses by blaming the black kid. Andrew Knight was also at the all-night party at Sam Magid's Hollywood Hills home when $100,000 worth of watches and sunglasses went missing. Sam apparently told the police that on the day of the theft, two of LiLo's friends, Andrew Knight and another dude, came up to him and handed him a bag with a few pieces of the stolen stuff wrapped in HER t-shirt. It gets better. When Sam and LiLo talked about the burglary later on, she told him that she hid some of his expensive stuff around his house, because she didn't want the thieves to steal more shit. LiLo doesn't really remember where she hid the stuff, because she was high on Ambien at the time. Sam also told the cops that her last words to him were, "I'm sorry. Please pray for me."
After LiLo put the blame on Suge Knight's son, he denied it all and the cops believe him, because LiLo is still their main suspect.
I don't know whether LiLo is the dumbest bitch alive or the boldest bitch alive, or a lot of both. I'm going to go with the former, because she truly is the worst jewel thief of all-time. My abuelita's half-blind fat chihuahua who has IBS would've done a better job. Ambien + a house full of cracked out bitches + $100,000 worth of jooree lying around = the easiest jewel heist ever.
Bitch should've drugged everybody with the Ambien, stole all that jewelry while they were all knocked out, quickly hid the stuff where nobody will ever look (examples: White Oprah's panties or the drawer where her agent keeps her headshots and resumes) and then come back to the house to rub some random party guest's hand all over the soon-to-be crime scene before passing out with everybody else. It's not hard!
Maybe the realization that she sucks at thieving will fall into her head when Suge Knight hangs her over a hotel balcony.
(Pics via Pacific Coast News and Splash)
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Submitted by Dog on Tue, 08/28/2012 - 8:42pm.
To everyone who gets upset she skated for the thousandth time, just remember one thing. The more she gets away with, the more she'll push the legal envelope. At some point she will do something so reckless or illegal, she really will find herself in prison for real. She's just like a politician. Her sense of being above the law is going to come up and cream her one day.
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I was thinking that very thing this morning Dog, after I heard she once again, got away with something for the gazillionth time. This empowers her sociopath tendencies even more, so we should expect something really epic that will FINALLY put this sick bitch away..oh and not for 96 hours. I'm talking prison, not jail.
Yeah Ambien is some black -out , bachelor party shit if you don't go to bed right away.
After realizing how baby smoothe I was down there, I had a flashback of me with scissors in hand taking away those bad boys one by one. The really absurd part is that I don't know what I did with the pube clippings, so they could be lying around somewhere, or I could have gotten creative and put them in my Ambien-spired midnight snack that night. Ugh. :0
www.pooprert.com
<3-------------------------------<3
RIMADYL KILLS
Mel-Tang, "...I gave myself a haircut, down there. With scissors...", bwahahahahah *dies* lolol
But Blohan, must be on it 24/7 because everything she does is strange and nuts. In other words, a crackie of the first order.
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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I am not defending or making excuses for Kleptohan (love that, btw), buuuut, I can attest to doing weird shit on Ambien and not remembering it.
The other night while on it, I gave myself a haircut, down there. With scissors. I only remembered because while showering yesterday, I noticed I was Brazilian smoothe. It triggered some flashbacks of me with scissors taking care of business. Freaked me out. When U are doing the creepy shit, you have no idea you are doing it like you do when U are drunk. When U are drunk, u do it but just don't care. On Ambien, u are like a zombie and able to do normal things, but you are sleepwalking while doing it. Like a trance. It's pretty crazy. And u don't remember any of it unless someone or something triggers a memory or tells u they saw u doing it, then its like watching yourself in a movie with no sound. I have sleep eaten and carried on conversations with people that I don't remember. So, wacky things can happen on Ambien.
www.poopreport.com :)
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RIMADYL KILLS
After reading the last page and a half of comments all that I can add is to give her rope and let her hang herself because she is burning bridges all the way to hell.
I used to think that she was a lost little girl but now all I see is a sociopath.
@ Twat Muffin - 5:15pm
I just saw your note and the funny thing is that it happened at the bridal shower I was throwing for a teen-bride friend. I guess Lady was over-excited and lost her chihuahua cool. It was fairly embarrassing at the time. Actually she probably had IBS too as she was a crabby little thing. I love the animals though and even the odd ones.
Btw, Whimsy is a sweet name for a pet.
Submitted by surfsucks on Tue, 08/28/2012 - 10:07pm.
that kid looks more white than black...
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Then, uh....THE WHITE KID DID IT!
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
I was watching "Mean Girls" the other day, and had to turn it off.
Just too sad for me to see her then, and what she is now.
that kid looks more white than black...
@Hekki - haha, so true! I also vote for her pissing someone off in Las Vegas. After all, they deserve a special mention for doing what California never could - locked up that fucker OJ Simpson.
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Submitted by Hekki on Tue, 08/28/2012 - 4:50pm.
I really want to see her pull some of her shit in NYC, where no one gives two shits about Shawn Holley and the LA hierarchy.
Submitted by Sweetas on Tue, 08/28/2012 - 9:55pm.
LMFAO Tigerlilly♥!! *throws you a rotten piece of spam...y'know, a Lohan*
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Damn, Sweetass, we like that? I don't even know any vultures that would touch that Lohan mess EVEN IN THIS ECONOMY. I mean, maggots is thinkin' twice...I ain't sayin' I'm just sayin' sometimes a Slim Jim between DListed whores says a lot...oh and can you front a whore a few Jolly Ranchers too?
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
LMFAO Tigerlilly♥!! *throws you a rotten piece of spam...y'know, a Lohan*
If ever anyone needed a swift kick to the crotch bone with a steel-toed boot...
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The idea that Hohan is invited over to some crazy (he'd have to be to invite her) rich guys party, and she invites a couple of thugs with her reminds me of that scene from Boogie Night, where Alfred Molina is dancing around to Jessie's Girl, the Chinese guy is lighting firecrackers, and Hohans friends decide to rob the guy....link here to remind you, lol
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bZRzeUrVy1o
I'm kind of glad the LAPD is dropping this, so the citizens of LA can keep a little of their tax money for more useful things, like busting the black kid who really did it
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He's prolly the same black kid who killed Nicole Simpson, Ron Goldman and Bonnie Blakely... DAMN THAT BLACK KID! Oh, and I'm 90% sure he also stole my lunch last Tuesday...yeah tuna salad on white bread...SOUND FAMILIAR, BLACK KID?????
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by Dog: "To everyone who gets upset she skated for the thousandth time, just remember one thing. The more she gets away with, the more she'll push the legal envelope. At some point she will do something so reckless or illegal, she really will find herself in prison for real. She's just like a politician. Her sense of being above the law is going to come up and cream her one day."
True. Thanks for the reminder.
It's a small consolation though.
The LAPD is still looking for whoever killed that football player's ex-wife and her waiter-friend.
The tip of her nose is really a sad fucked up mess.
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
Sam: Hey Linds...that was getting kinda close with the cops! Blaming Suge's son! Genius!
Lindsay: LOL! I know! Couldn't use "not my pants", I wasn't wearing any!
Sam: Uh Linds...about the BJ.
Lindsay: You still got another Rolex...right?
............................................
I'm kind of glad the LAPD is dropping this, so the citizens of LA can keep a little of their tax money for more useful things, like busting the black kid who really did it.
This. BITCH.
SANS, yes please!! Hopefully there is a "talented as hell" and a "sit your stupid ass down" section and she'll never even get to meet them.
Foxxy lol please, just make it to 28. And entertain us all by going to PRISON in the meantime. *will NEVER happen*
Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Tue, 08/28/2012 - 9:24pm.
nope. certainly nothing drug deal-y going on here.
LOL. Standing, sitting, in the tub--that kind of a relationship.
Submitted by RandéSleepover on Tue, 08/28/2012 - 9:17pm.
"Lohan and one of the victims in the case, identified as millionaire Sam Magid, had a "longstanding relationship," and he did not identify any of the suspects, prosecutors said."
nope. certainly nothing drug deal-y going on here.
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
She might be dumb. She might be an inept crook. But who the eff keeps inviting this broad to their homes? Now THAT'S dumb. Dude prolly backjacked out of embarrassment. Hates to admit he even invited her skank ass to his party. He deserves whatever happened.
Submitted by Sweetas on Tue, 08/28/2012 - 9:07pm.
Submitted by ScarfnBarf on Tue, 08/28/2012 - 7:29pm.
Four years ago she said it would be cool to elect a colored president.
Um....WHAT?? Is it 1929?? Bitch should be in jail for that statement, and about a million other things. If she taints the 27 club imma be so pissed.
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Janis, Jimi and Amy Winehouse will be kicking her ass in the afterlife.
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SANTO DIOS! PRAISE HAY-SOOS CREASE-TOE!
Ok, if bitch pulls this off, I seriously need to hang around more black kids cuz my white ass gets NAILED for just about everything I do. *opens fresh bag of sea jasper*...My life SUX.
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Update on Chuckie:
"L.A. County prosecutors concluded they could not prove "beyond a reasonable doubt" that Lindsay Lohan and two other people had stolen items from a Hollywood Hills home.
Los Angeles Police Department detectives had presented evidence to prosecutors Tuesday after several days on investigation identifying Lohan as well as Gavin Lawrence Doyle and Andrew Nicholas Payan as suspects in the case.
Lohan and one of the victims in the case, identified as millionaire Sam Magid, had a "longstanding relationship," and he did not identify any of the suspects, prosecutors said.
Although one of the suspects made a "vague admission" that someone had taken something, none of the suspects was found with any property.
In addition, prosecutors noted in the filing that eyewitnesses in the case did not cooperate with authorities, and the victims did not wish to pursue a criminal prosecution of the case.
LAPD detectives have been seeking to talk with Lohan after several items, including cash, sunglasses and a credit card holder, were reported stolen from a home Aug. 18. Law enforcement sources said that reports of $100,000 taken from the home were inaccurate."
OK, so NOT Suge's son. So Suge won't be whopping' his ass. Just hanging him over a balcony.
Agree she is genetically brain damaged. Psychopath, sociopath, narcissist, take your pick. Those parents of hers are real genetic masterpieces. MK's abulita's chihuahua has better breeding.
That pic does look like Samuel L. Jackson about the time of Goodfellas.
---------- Dying’s for amateurs. C. Sheen
Submitted by Sweetas on Tue, 08/28/2012 - 9:07pm.
"If she taints the 27 club imma be so pissed."
you should be fine then. you know that bitch can't pass up a club opening
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Submitted by ScarfnBarf on Tue, 08/28/2012 - 7:29pm.
Four years ago she said it would be cool to elect a colored president.
Um....WHAT?? Is it 1929?? Bitch should be in jail for that statement, and about a million other things. If she taints the 27 club imma be so pissed.
Submitted by Gigaboob on Tue, 08/28/2012 - 8:59pm.
LOL. That was a really, really surreal movie--for any time or age.
Submitted by RandéSleepover on Tue, 08/28/2012 - 8:48pm
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Would you like some milk? ;)
LOL at this whole thing. Blo can't keep going this way. It's a mathematical improbability. Just like her lip/chin bloat; shit can't keep pushing the boundaries forever.
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“Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known.” —Carl Sagan (RIP C.Hitchens, Winehouse, Houston, MCA, Dillon, Armstrong) *caprica six was/is here*
Well, wishful thinking isn't all bad. lol
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Submitted by Dog on Tue, 08/28/2012 - 8:42pm.
To everyone who gets upset she skated for the thousandth time, just remember one thing. The more she gets away with, the more she'll push the legal envelope. At some point she will do something so reckless or illegal, she really will find herself in prison for real. She's just like a politician. Her sense of being above the law is going to come up and cream her one day.
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Cues Journey's "Don't Stop Believin'"...pats Doggie's head...
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by Gigaboob on Tue, 08/28/2012 - 8:43pm.
LOL! This is the Clockwork Orange treatment??
MJT and UBF, don't forget the real class act: the whore who has kids by both Jermaine and Randy Jackson.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
That dude could do with a little moisturizer. I just finished this moist and delicious brownie, God it was sinfully good, it's got me moist. Did I mention it was moist? I won't dare go outside with the hot weather. It'll make me more moist when I'm already so moist.
OT: She...hid...his shit and then forgot where the fuck she put it all. -_-
To everyone who gets upset she skated for the thousandth time, just remember one thing. The more she gets away with, the more she'll push the legal envelope. At some point she will do something so reckless or illegal, she really will find herself in prison for real. She's just like a politician. Her sense of being above the law is going to come up and cream her one day.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Submitted by Uncle Brain-fart on Tue, 08/28/2012 - 8:29pm.
LMAO!!!!!!!!!!
There is a woman who has a baby by Suge and a baby Dr. Dre. Can you say GROUPIE?
And ew. I'm with ya. I'd rather join a nunnery. No thanks.
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Your Chick-Fil-A is showing. - ISprainedMyUvula 8/3/2012
Submitted by bambam on Tue, 08/28/2012 - 6:07pm.
Submitted by Whamo on Tue, 08/28/2012 - 5:52pm.
"No offense but man, white people. SMH."
those words will to be engraved on my tombstone
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
I'm kind of developing a grudging respect for Lilo kinda like I did back in the day with John Gotti. I mean Lilo's Firecrotch is lined with Teflon, let's get real...and as unjust as it is, it's also fascinating.
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by ScarfnBarf on Tue, 08/28/2012 - 7:29pm.
"Four years ago she said it would be cool to elect a colored president."
for others like me who did not know this until now:
http://blogs.mercurynews.com/aei/2008/11/12/lindsay-lohan-calls-obama-co...
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Tue, 08/28/2012 - 8:31pm.
Submitted by Dog on Tue, 08/28/2012 - 8:25pm.
I'm shocked that someone slept with Suge Knight!
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I am shocked people still sleep with Lohan.
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Who? Whenever she is screwing someone, she makes sure we all know it. I think everyone, well besides Jack, has realized her cooch is radioactive.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Submitted by SANS FARDS on Tue, 08/28/2012 - 7:29pm.
GAH STOP SAYING MOIST!!!!!!!!!!!
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CO-FUCKING-SIGN!
be great, Suge. be great. feel me bro'?
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Submitted by Dog on Tue, 08/28/2012 - 8:25pm.
I'm shocked that someone slept with Suge Knight!
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I am shocked people still sleep with Lohan.
Submitted by Twat Muffin on Tue, 08/28/2012 - 8:20pm.
I know Chris Meloni makes me awfully M-word at times, and so do a few other dudes!
He's right there in yer avi! Seriously, I'm trying to think if I have an actual aversion to any specific words. I know I cringe when my mom curses, but that's a different issue...
Submitted by Dog on Tue, 08/28/2012 - 8:25pm.
I'm shocked that someone slept with Suge Knight!
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People slept and and had babies with Flavor Flave and Ol` Dirty Bastard.....
I`d rather fuck myself with a tire-iron than do that....
Most johns would be done with a thieving whore wtf is up with that, are her head giving skills that good???