OctoMom Hates Her Babies

June 30, 2011 / Posted by:

Some say that OctoMom made her bed of BABIES!!! so she should lie on ’em. But after reading a supposed interview she gave to InTouch Weekly (via Daily Mail), I say that Child Protective Services needs to lay a rescue net over her BABIES!!! and drag them to a safe house far far away from OctoMom’s crazy ass.

If I had 14 kids pounding my nerves into dust with their high-pitched screeches, I’d definitely make a noose out of dirty Pampers and pray that the underworld is for 18+ only and has a strict carding policy, but this is why I haven’t push 14 fucking babies out of my anus (you know, because I can)!!!!

Here’s the words that have earned OctoMom the Most Promising Future Award from the Susan Smith Foundation:

“I hate the babies, they disgust me. My older six are animals, getting more and more out of control, because I have no time to properly discipline them. The only way I can cope is to lock myself in the bathroom and cry. Sometimes I sit there for hours and even eat my lunch sitting on the toilet floor. Anything to get peace and quiet. Some days I have thought about killing myself. I cannot cope.

Obviously I love them – but I absolutely wish I had not had them.”

There are only 4 reasons I could come up with for why OctoMom’s mouth would give birth to shit words like this:

1. This quote is a flute, CPS is a slithering snake and she’s trying to summon them out of a basket so they can snatch up her child army and this fuckery for her!
2. Octo knows that sex sells, but since her womb has crawled up to her vagina entrance and blocked it with all its might, she she has no sex to sell. So she has to sell foolery instead!
4. InTouch’s creative writing department is really going for the gold.

Choosing any one of those answers will earn you an A+ since they are all completely plausible. But if bitch thinks shit is hard now, just wait until all 200 of her BABIES!!!! turn into TEENAGERS!!!!!!!! Now that is some real Suicide Watch shit!

The worst part about raising a dysfunctional and damaged child is that there’s a good chance they will give birth to another dysfunctional and damaged child when they turn 13. A dysfunctional and damaged grandchild that you will have to take care of because your dysfunctional and damaged child is too busy shooting heroin into their taint and whoring under the bridge with any trick that winks at them. Take a breath, Octo, because it could be a long ride.

Here’s Octo earning a check last night by participating in some celebrity boxing match in Philadelphia.

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