What Makes Brangelina's Child Army Go EWWWWWW?
In an interview with USA Today for that Tree of Life movie, Brad Pitt talks about how he and Angie Jo are staring at marriage together and he also said what grosses out his army of children. Surprisingly, it's not the sight of Angie nom nom nom-ing on the penis root of one of her past victims. It's also not the sight of Brad Pitt cutting a piece of his beard off to put in his bong after realizing that it's enriched with weed smoke. It's also not when Brad and Angie make them walk more than 50 steps on the sidewalk without being carried.
It's worse than all of that. Maddox & Co. let out a hurricane of high-pitched ewwws when Brad and Angie announce that they are going to go spend some time together in their kissing room. That makes all of us go ewwww. The chosen ones are just like us!
Here's a few quotes from Brad's interview including that one about Maddox gagging himself at the thought of his parents kissing.
On the paps always being up his family's culo: “We're hunted. Our kids have to live behind a gate. Outside, there are people with cameras. But I'll take the trade-off. I never knew I was capable of experiencing so much love.”On if he and Angie will ever get married: “The kids ask about marriage. It's meaning more and more to them. So it's something we've got to look at.”
On how they're pretty much a trained traveling army: “On the road, we're a military mobile unit. The kids have got their stuff down to one backpack, and they're each responsible for their own bag. Mom does the packing; she's quite gifted at that. Puts in just what we need — nothing extra.”
On how his house sounds like such a tranquil and pleasant place to be: “Angie and I do everything we can to carve out some semblance of normalcy for them, to re-create the kinds of moments that were special for us. It's not unusual for the kids to be covered in paint. We have mud fights. It's chaos from morning until the lights go out, and sometimes after that.”
On that kissing thing: “There are no secrets at our house. We tell the kids, ‘Mom and Dad are going off to kiss.' They go, ‘Eww, gross!' But we demand it.”
Brad Pitt needs to stop with that "no secret" shit. When they say they are going off to kiss, they really mean that Brad is going to retreat into his hot boxin' room to make architecture models out of Popsicle sticks while Angie knife fights with her lesbian sex slaves in the chapel. That counts as a secret!
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They should do an episode of "Hoarders" on them for Sweeps Week.
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snark is good.
I don't think they "whore out " their kids. I am no Brangeloonie, but I like the way they are with the kids.
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It took awhile to get me in, and I'm gonna take my time
Don't fight that good shit in your ear
Now let me blow ya mind
Submitted by GlitterKitty on Mon, 05/30/2011 - 8:58am.
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You are so bang on with this, there are scores of big name actors out there and we have no idea if they even HAVE children much less have seen them. These two are the biggest phoniest fucking whores out there and it's all because St Angie wants to foster an image of of a loving mother and a wholesome family when in reality she's the same lezbo loving, unmarried, husband fucking, brother banging, no friend having heroin addict she always has been.
Fuck her and fuck Brad the balless wonder boy.
Granny Clampett
There are so many ways to hide these kids. Depp's movies bring in faaar more than Brad's and he has managed to live a low key life. Seriously, Pitt and Angie Ho want this. No sympathy.
These people are fucking weird. Seriously if you're going to adopt/have kids, move to the suburbs where they can go swimming, ride their bikes, go to school and interact with someone other than their own family. That being said any papporazzi that stalks children needs to have their nuts cauterized with hot steel.
"When I'm good I'm very good but when I'm bad I'm better." ~Mae West
Submitted by Jintess on Sun, 05/29/2011 - 2:10pm.
I have no problem with either of them, they seem like good parents. At least better than most of their peers.
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What of a fucking idiotic comment is this? How do you know? You mean because they whore their kids out and others don't this makes them better parents? Are you for real? How can you even judge how others are with their kids?
The blindness of Brangaloonies knows no end. And also, Brad honey if you feel you are besieged by the media, stop whoring that kids army out when you two idiots have a movie to promote!
Jesus, they are the only celebs whose kids I recognise. Have we ever seen Depp's kids? Winslet? No. Because they don't use them to get bums on seats in cinemas.
Why do people still fall for this crap? Stop it I DEMAND IT!
This guy recycles the same bullshit answers to the same boring questions for the past 5 years. NO one gives a shit, BRAD, that you and Holie go off to "kiss". And your kids are hunted b/c you and your girlfriend exploit each one of them from the moment they are conceived right to the moment they are born ... magazine covers for $14 million , remember? Plus, it's not that the kids are so special , but that their parents called attention to themselves the moment that they hooked up while he was still married to whatshername!
Brad needs to stop trying to convince the public that 6 kids is ecstasy and him and Angie HO are normal. PLEASE.
Brad has turned into the BIGGEST FUCKING PUSSY. I use to like this guy now when I see him I don't see a cool guy I see a whipped fucking dbag.
By the way that aint a "kissing room" it should be called the "nodding room" because that's where St Angie goes to shoot her HEROIN.
Give me a break I hope these two die in a fucking plane crash...that's right I said die.
Submitted by Message In A Bottle on Sun, 05/29/2011 - 9:11pm.
I so can't wait for the tell-all books!
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Chances are pretty good that there will be at least one of the Brandgelina brood revealing all of their messed up childhood. HHAHAHAHAHAHA
I hate these two morons,
stop promoting your movies and not your unhappy looking famil !
Submitted by Christiane Morales on Sun, 05/29/2011 - 11:56pm.
A.cotw-
As a sister migraineur, let me say that you have my sympathies 1000%.
_________________________________________________________________________
There is a Dlisted Migraine Set. Welcome!
You, of course have mine. What struck a chord was your comment about coping with the hellion offspring brought to a new relationship. Although certain circumstances were different, the effect was the same: extreme frustration. ( And sometimes pain.)
As a childless woman I have no right to say this, but a complete lack of stability and discipline does not help a child. Junior Bimbo, who was encouraged by the first Mrs. W to be difficult, is 24 and an immature, semi- literate,irresponsible fuckup.
Well, Mr W and I have been together for nearly 13 years, so I'll stop bitching.
A.cotw-
As a sister migraineur, let me say that you have my sympathies 1000%. As I've gotten older I've developed a whole kit of techniques, but the only one that really ever works is sleep in a pitch black, soundproofed room. Really, no one understands, until they somehow experience it themselves...unfortunately. I can't take solace when I hear: oh. my. god. now I know and I'm so sorry I thought you were full of shit.
And why do children have cell phones anyway? So we can take care of them when they get brain cancer at 30? Awesome.
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semper fido
They're fucking weird
If Brad really wanted privacy he would not be with Angelina who lives for the press. He needs to get his balls out of her purse.
I so can't wait for the tell-all books!
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The proper pronunciation is 'bitch, please'. - Jana
Submitted by Datura on Sun, 05/29/2011 - 5:24pm.
Submitted by Zorba-the-Geek on Sun, 05/29/2011 - 3:57pm.
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Your whole post was awesome. I think "We demand it!" should be used at the end of every statement for added effect. Hilarity.
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Thanks @ Datura :)
For a while I kept annoying my husband with "Winning! DUH!" to answer any "How are you?" question. But I think "We demand it!" should be the new "power phrase." Ha!
The real quote was:
"Mom and Dad are going off now to kiss other people on their naughty parts"
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TheBreakdown on Sat, 04/09/2011 - 2:28pm.
Why even go to college these days?
Just suck cock on cam, get pissed on for YouTube, learn Trickonics as your main language, and wear a slut dress every day....
Submitted by literarylioness on Sun, 05/29/2011 - 6:44pm.
The people who talk about their "amazing" sex lives usually aren't having sex with each other. Actually, when these types of news stories come out, the next thing you know---BAM---they break up.
Too much talking; not enough doing, I say.
I just get a feeling that Pitt doesn't say anything in an interview Jolie didn't give him permission to say. Sorta creeps me out. And I had no idea there was a movie called Tree of Life. HMMM.
But when Pitt said she packs what they need and "nothing extra," does that include bottles of lube so the kids can experiment on one another? Muaaha. You know... young sexuals in training. Jolie demands it.
probably already been stated, I haven't read through the comments yet.
BUT
DAMN! Angie is looking like Jenny from the Block. I had to do a double-take!
Good. Bad. I'm the guy with the gun.
-Ash
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The people who talk about their "amazing" sex lives usually aren't having sex with each other. Actually, when these types of news stories come out, the next thing you know---BAM---they break up.
I think these stories are just Angie's way of taking the talk of her obvious health problems. This woman is addicted to something and she looks like CRAP!
"....Brad is going to retreat into his hot boxin' room to make architecture models out of Popsicle sticks..."
I was thinking more like old school Lincoln Logs where you had to get the roof slats just
right... ; P
Submitted by Deb on Sun, 05/29/2011 - 2:27pm.
Brad ADORES these kids. I think that's the biggest reason that he and his partner stay together.
Well if it isn't detective Sherlock gracing us with his presence.
dp
Referring to your female signif-other as "mom" in an interview is the opposite of hot and sexay.
These two are so boring that it mystifies me that they still get as much press as they do. Angie's an aging attention freak and Brad's a hick who got lucky.
People who talk about how TEHGREATSECKS they are having, most likely have lousy sex lives. Or they'd be somewhere else having this hot sex rather than flapping their gums about it.
Mom does the packing; she's quite gifted at that.
Oh stop it Brad, you're making the nannies blush.
Submitted by RustyHooligan on Sun, 05/29/2011 - 5:50pm.
Submitted by joe shmoe on Sun, 05/29/2011 - 5:43pm.
It sounds horrid. Chastity has no place in the bedroom.
I don't mean chastity; I just mean that, after a number of years together, six(?) kids, career demands, etc., it can't be torrid, headboard-breaking sex every night. I'm gay, aren't I? :)
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No, not at all. I was just being silly.
You're absolutely right. But headboards should be broken occasionally. It makes it all the more exciting and less expensive if it doesn't happen every night :D
I'll sound like I should be put out to pasture for saying this, *clacking my dentures & pulling up my senior thigh-highs*, but cuddling/spooning is nice too. And no bed parts are harmed either.
Somehow though, I can't picture Brad and Angie *cuddling*. She looks like she'd wrap herself around him like a Boa Constrictor and squeeeeeze.
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I still get the distinct impression that Brad is totally Angelina's bitch.
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This signature will be publicly displayed at the end of my comments.
http://hipandcritical.blogspot.com/
Submitted by becky n sydney on Sun, 05/29/2011 - 5:23pm.
I thought there already was a Vivienne?
There is: "Mommy, everyone spells my name wrong. I don't like it."
Submitted by joe shmoe on Sun, 05/29/2011 - 5:43pm.
It sounds horrid. Chastity has no place in the bedroom.
I don't mean chastity; I just mean that, after a number of years together, six(?) kids, career demands, etc., it can't be torrid, headboard-breaking sex every night. I'm gay, aren't I? :)
Submitted by RustyHooligan on Sun, 05/29/2011 - 5:06pm.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Sun, 05/29/2011 - 4:55pm.
Their secret disdain for each other?
haaaaaaaa. It's funny how these threads divide into pro and con camps. Some folks look at their pix and words above and see love and caring; others the opposite. Some folks think Pink's radiant and a brilliant singer; others don't.
I'm a cynic: I bet Brad's hinting at marriage because it'll keep his name--and his ponderous new movie--in the press.
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I see her getting her freakish preying mantis grip on his jaw to shut his bumbling ass up because she sees 'face time' with the camera....and NO ONE messes with Angie Jo's face time with the camera....If tiny meat Brad (copy Mrs. P.C.) hadn'ta shut his fly trap, Angie would have squeezed harder with those terrifying 'ET phone home' appendages from hell and the Bradster woulda had a dinner consisting of back TEEFS!
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by RustyHooligan on Sun, 05/29/2011 - 5:13pm.
Submitted by joe shmoe on Sun, 05/29/2011 - 12:51pm.
Fast forward about 5(?) years. Brad looks like a beat-down, used-up Willie Loman. He's just not up for the wild jungle sex anymore. (Unless he got with me, of course)
When they go into the kissing room that's probably exactly what they do: a chaste peck and "Goodnight Honey".
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LOL! A chaste peck and "Goodnight, honey" don't sound too terrible at their stage.
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Yes it does. It sounds horrid. Chastity has no place in the bedroom.
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They still like to boast about all their wild jungle sex, howevs. You know what that means...
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Yeah. I know what that means. NO jungle sex happening here. It's the quiet ones walking around all smug-like, who are getting all the wild jungle sex.
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Submitted by Zorba-the-Geek on Sun, 05/29/2011 - 3:57pm.
...
Your whole post was awesome. I think "We demand it!" should be used at the end of every statement for added effect. Hilarity.
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Masturbation is not a GD game of Clue, there is no reason to head to the broom closet with a rope and a lead pipe. --michelleb
Submitted by RustyHooligan on Sun, 05/29/2011 - 5:19pm.
Submitted by becky n sydney on Sun, 05/29/2011 - 5:15pm.
At least the kids know their own genders.
Except for Shiloh - but that's personal choice.
Very funny. I can't wait till they all grow up and legally change their names to Mary, Joe, Vivian, etc.
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I thought there already was a Vivienne?
And it'll be Scott, Barry, Bruce, Cheryl etc.
Submitted by becky n sydney on Sun, 05/29/2011 - 5:15pm.
At least the kids know their own genders.
Except for Shiloh - but that's personal choice.
Very funny. I can't wait till they all grow up and legally change their names to Mary, Joe, Vivian, etc.
At least the kids know their own genders.
Except for Shiloh - but that's personal choice.
Submitted by joe shmoe on Sun, 05/29/2011 - 12:51pm.
Fast forward about 5(?) years. Brad looks like a beat-down, used-up Willie Loman. He's just not up for the wild jungle sex anymore. (Unless he got with me, of course)
When they go into the kissing room that's probably exactly what they do: a chaste peck and "Goodnight Honey".
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LOL! A chaste peck and "Goodnight, honey" don't sound too terrible at their stage. It happens.
They still like to boast about all their wild jungle sex, howevs. You know what that means...
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Sun, 05/29/2011 - 4:55pm.
Their secret disdain for each other?
haaaaaaaa. It's funny how these threads divide into pro and con camps. Some folks look at their pix and words above and see love and caring; others the opposite. Some folks think Pink's radiant and a brilliant singer; others don't.
I'm a cynic: I bet Brad's hinting at marriage because it'll keep his name--and his ponderous new movie--in the press.
Submitted by RustyHooligan on Sun, 05/29/2011 - 12:31pm.
Well, Cali has effectively legalized gay marriage. Are there any more hurdles for them?
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Their secret disdain for each other?
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
The other stuff Brad says is cute and genuine, but I would also be grossed out if my parents said they were going somewhere "to kiss." I still say Ewww and I'm in my 30s!
I have a little one myself and my husband and I squeeze in a little nasty during his naptimes. I just couldn't imagine looking at my son and saying "Now, baby, Daddy and I are gonna FUCK. We demand it!" That's just being exhibitionist. They have so many nannies I'm sure they don't HAVE to tell the kids about their fucktimes. Angie just wants to ignite their children's Oedipal jealousy.
Angelina Jolie: her steeltrap thundercat has been mesmerizing men since 1975, with no signs of slowing down.
Brad Pitt probably has an enlarged clitoris now that AngieJo has cut him down to size.
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Facebook: Triston Negreaux
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Please don't moan about your lack of privacy Brad. You do this to your own children. Have a chat with Johnny Depp about how to keep his family out of the limelight, I think not being an attention seeking fucktard might have something to do with it.
Also, as a mother, who manages to grab some sexy time when their kids are awake? You have 6 kids, you get 5 minutes of rushed, half asleep, unsatisfying fucking a week and you be grateful for that!
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"It's always funny until somebody gets hurt-then it's fucking hilarious": The late great Bill Hicks
Submitted by Christiane Morales on Sun, 05/29/2011 - 3:01pm.
OMG, I hear you. Imagine having a vomiting migraine while a spoiled,demanding 12 year old yells at you then stands under your bedroom window bellowing into her cellphone?
I love Mr. W. dearly, but he can't exercise authority over a puppy,let alone a sentient biped. His daughter with the first Mrs. W tried her best to give me a nervous breakdown.
She failed.
Evil_Cupcake on Sun, 05/29/2011 - 3:17pm.
Can't and shan't argue with you there, EC. It would be great if people could find inspiration to better themselves from within but not everyone has that kind of moral/intellectual/spiritual aptitude and the people who you would normally look to for a bit of guidance [i.e. clergy/parents/psychiatry/etc.] aren't always 'perfect' either.
Life is a crap-shoot!
You have a good one too and I hope you didn't feel like I was picking on you.
Submitted by Fraggle on Sun, 05/29/2011 - 3:02pm.
Whatever Fraggle, I am not going to argue the point with you about your grandmother or anyone else.
Good for your grandmother.
I still stand by what I said. If you cannot be a good person on your own, then it is sad you have to look to a celebrity to inspire you to do that. I am not talking about people being inspired to lose weight, I am talking about people who haven't a mind of their own, who have no direction in life, unless the rely on someone else, famous to do it it for them. People should be inspired by the every day man who is out there saving lives, cuing diseases, teaching your kids, protecting your country, donating their time and money to causes without having to make a huge P.R splash about it, like so many "inspiring" celebs do. If I am going to be inspired, I will be inspired by those around me to be a better individual. Real people, not some fake bunch of celebrities who only do the things they do for PR.
Anyway, have a nice day. I have a cemetery to visit and a bbq to pig out at.
Happy Memorial Day weekend.
Christiane Morales on Sun, 05/29/2011 - 3:01pm.
OH BROTHER, can I EVER relate! The stories I could tell about the two years of HELL I spent trying to be 'patient' and hoping my friend's children would mellow out. My daughter (who was a year younger than her eldest) was so sweet about the visits with them but she was terrified of the boys because they had NO RULES at all and they would just terrorize us. Her husband was a lawyer and they both bragged about their own genius I.Q.s [did you just roll your eyes too?] and their GENIUS sons. Oh lord...! I can only imagine the Jolie/Pitt clan without a whole staff of servants/nannies/help...a fucking TRIBE of wild banshees!
new post! new post! new post! new post!....
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"yes, bitch - it IS caused by global warming."
Evil_Cupcake on Sun, 05/29/2011 - 2:42pm.
EC, my grandmother (may she rest in peace) looked up to a celebrity who inspired her. Yes, he happened to be a 'fitness guru' but he had his own show back then and he was a celebrity for his time. People have been inspired by many celebrities for whatever reason. It's weird, yes, but not that much weirder than people being inspired by the Pope or the sweat-stain on a t-shirt in the shape of Jesus or the tater chip that looks like the Virgin Mary or people who think the only way to heaven is to hate everything on earth.
I wish I could build up enough self-confidence to publish my fonts but I'm still biting my nails over this long-assed form I have to fill out and I have nobody to help me (my husband is a no-go when it comes to stuff like this). I truly wish I had someone to inspire me right now because I'm spinning my wheels in frustration at myself (which is the worst kind imho...).
*steals some of your frosting* You didn't see that (the left side of your cup-cake is a lil' lopsided now, sorry).
Angelina and Brad give me nothing but the dry heaves and a case of the "EWWWWWWWs"...but, hell, each to their own.