Kevin Bacon Frowns Upon This

May 19, 2009 / Posted by:

When purdy purdy Zac Efron decided he wasn’t going to flutter and flounce in the musical remake of Footloose, Chace Crawford’s precious name came up. Well, now it’s been confirmed. The Hollywood Reporter says it’s all official and Chace will fly around like a fragile butterfly in Footloose which doesn’t start filming until March 2010. Gross.

I have nothing against Chace. I mean, I’m sure that when he scoots his ass against the tile floor, he leaves a trail of glitter jelly, but he is not the one! I’d much rather see him in a porn version called Fistloose.

But in Chace’s defense, there’s only one bitch who can play Ren McCormack and that’s Kevin Bacon! Why couldn’t Paramount throw him a bone in the form of a check. Kevin needs one! Remember a few months ago when he was begging for a job. This is the job! Kevin can still squeeze into his old dad jeans and leap better than whores half of his age. JAZZ HANDS: Kevin Bacon will always do them right!

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