Category: Winona Ryder
Open Post: Hosted By Winona Ryder And Keanu Reeves’ Decades Long Mutual Crush
I don’t know how, I don’t know why, but my cynical heart has finally found its kryptonite. Within minutes of learning that Winona Ryder and Keanu Reeves would be starring in the romantic comedy Destination Wedding, my play cousin texted me and was like, “we’re taking the day off of work to see this right?”, to which I responded, “duh”. There is just something so right about those two together. So yeah, I’m buying whatever it is they’re selling. Which, according to an Entertainment Tonight interview, is that they’ve secretly been harboring crushes on each other since the first day they met. Gah!
Winona Ryder And Keanu Reeves Might’ve Gotten Married On The Set Of “Dracula”
This post couldn’t get any more 90s if it was wearing a choker and Doc Martens while listening to a Veruca Salt record and fantasizing about Jordan Catalano. In Bram Stoker’s Dracula (1992), Winona Ryder and Keanu Reeves played Mina and Jonathan Harker, a young Victorian-era couple being terrorized by a bouffant-wearing Dracula (played by Gary Oldman). In one scene, while Drac is back home in London and eating her bestie, Winona marries Keanu’s character in a Romanian wedding ceremony. EW is reporting that the ceremony might have inadvertently been real.
Eleven From “Stranger Things” Traded In Her Buzz Cut For Some Extensions
The red carpet premiere of the second season of Netflix’s hit show Stranger Things happened in Los Angeles last night. Millie Bobby Brown has sort of become the show’s breakout star – well, unless you’re count Winona Ryder’s catalogue of endlessly entertaining reaction faces. It feels like every Spirit Halloween store I walk past has a giant picture right at the door of someone dressed up in a cheap $29.99 Eleven costume (box of Eggos not included). Everyone wants to be Eleven, except Millie Bobby Brown herself, apparently.
Winona Ryder Doesn’t Care About Being Relevant
In the late 80s and early 90s, there was no one bigger than Winona Ryder. She was in tons of amazing movies and preserved (for a time) in a tattoo on Johnny Depp’s body. Then she took a bit of a self-imposed career time-out in 2001 after she got arrested for stealing $5,500 worth of stuff from Saks in Beverly Hills. Besides starring on that Free Winona t-shirt that was everywhere, she laid low until 2006.
Eventually she started popping up here and there in stuff, like asking the ever-important question: “Did you suck his cock?” in 2010’s Black Swan. And then Stranger Things happened, and everyone was about Winona again. But guess what? Winona doesn’t really care that people care about her again.
Pop A Celebratory Eggo Waffle, “Stranger Things” Has Been Renewed For A Second Season
This week is only three days old, and already there’s been enough bummer news to make me drink like it’s the weekend. Clearly the Universe heard us all screaming “Okay, call me when the week is done” and decided to take pity on us by giving us some genuinely good news.
Johnny Depp Has Turned Amber Heard Into “SCUM”
Johnny “Dirt Dog” Depp, perhaps forgetting his gothy tragedy couple “WINONA FOREVER/WINO FOREVER” tattoo debacle back in the day, has once again been forced to modify some body art. Amidst his incredibly contentious divorce proceedings with ex Amber Heard, he obviously grew sick of seeing her nickname (“Slim”) on his knuckles and her pin-up body on his arm. “SLIM” is now “SCUM” (subtle), and Amber’s body shot has become…the monolith from 2001? A greasy green glass old school Coke bottle? A big bullet? A dildo? You decide.
Why would you ever get anyone’s name or likeness grafted on to your body? It can always go wrong. Nothing lasts forever. Even those with “Mom” inked on their tits. What if “Mom” ends up cutting you out of the will or sleeping with your spouse? I know a person with a friggin’ Garth Brooks tattoo. That’s probably the reason his wife slept with his best friend. Let’s examine our choices and have some realizations. There is no penis, vagina or whatever they’re sporting that is worth the future regret and embarrassment of having to transform bad ink into worse ink.
Check out some screenshots of Depp from a promo and an interview he did with KLOS 95.5 in the gallery below. You can sort of make out “SCUM” if you squint and have the Hubble Space Telescope for eyes. You’ll also notice that someone should suspend Johnny’s Overstock.com account because – bracelets. Someone hasn’t heard the old adage about taking off one 25 accessories before leaving the house.
Pic: WENN