Category: What I Did For Love

A Woman Wearing A He-Man Wig Was Willing To Go The Distance For Some Free Burger King Fries

May 30, 2019 / Posted by:

He-Man needs to come get his sister. Not She-Ra, she good. It’s his older sister. She’s been locked up by the evil entity called the Miami Police Department after she and her girlfriend tried to get some free french fries at the Burger King drive-thru. I guess flashing ample cleavage and rocking a hard fake bang isn’t enough these days. If you want free french fries, you’ve got to get out of your car, walk your ass all the way inside, hop over the counter and threaten to pistol whip your way to a hot, thick, and crispy treat.

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CrossFit Co-Founder Lauren Jenai Has Found New Love With A Man In Jail For Murder

April 9, 2019 / Posted by:

CrossFit is a scary cult and you can’t convince me otherwise. The fact that the program’s co-founder, Lauren Jenai, is newly engaged to a man who’s currently in a Florida jail on first-degree murder charges, only bolsters this assumption. According to Page Six, Lauren sold her shares of the company to her (now) ex-husband Greg Glassman for $20 million to facilitate their 2013 divorce. That means she has plenty of cash to spend on her new fella Franklin Tyrone Tucker, who she’d known in high school, and recently reconnected with via Facebook. But then he got arrested for allegedly stabbing someone in a treehouse in the Florida Keys during a home invasion/armed robbery involving a crack deal gone bad. The victim was a good Samaritan who was investigating the commotion. That might turn some people off, but not CrossFit people. CrossFit people go all in.

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Grimes Came To Boyfriend Elon Musk’s Defense Because Billionaires Need Our Help

July 26, 2018 / Posted by:

Grimes has somehow managed to snag one of the very few billionaires under 50, so it makes sense that’s she’d go hard to defend her man, Elon Musk. Even if he is kind of a tool. Last week Grimes’ benefactor found himself under scrutiny for making a big donation to some right wing, Republican organizations. It’s a requirement that I think is in the Billionaire Handbook which is handed to newly minted billionaires in a secret ceremony involving goat’s blood and takes place in a clubhouse in an underground bunker.

The problem is that Elon is a climate change affirmer, which is at odds with the Republican platform which thinks we should all just take our sweaters off and quit complaining. Elon defended himself saying he gives way more to environmental groups. A Grimes fan #tooktotwitter to tell her she should break up with Elon because of his republican associations. Rather than simply keeping her mouth shut, Grimes shot back.

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