Category: Take This Job And Shove It

Open Post: Hosted By This Influencer’s Bonkers Job Listing For A 24/7 Personal Assistant

August 3, 2020 / Posted by:

An anonymous “celebrity” YouTube influencer with 10+ million followers has posted a crazy job listing to find a “part-time” personal assistant. This assistant is expected to be on call 24/7, and “on property around 8 hours a day cleaning, cooking, communicating with producer/videographer/editor/manager’/all stylists/cleaning services/other celebrities/friends.” For, again, a part-time position.

The ideal candidate must be a diligent multi-tasking super-organizer with zero personal life or any pesky emotions (this is mentioned more than once). They must be OK with being “the bad guy”, handling “hundreds of small tasks at once”, chauffeuring the influencer everywhere, and refraining from drugs and alcohol at all times (damn, I was so close!). Finally, most importantly, THEY CANNOT BE DRIVEN BY FAME. “Aaaaand, I’m out”, replied everyone in the greater Los Angeles area.

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Constance Wu Still Has A Job On “Fresh Off The Boat”

May 15, 2019 / Posted by:

Prayers up for Constance Wu. Against her wishes, the Huang children of Fresh Off The Boat will NOT find themselves weeping and motherless at the start of season 6. According to Indiewire, poor Constance still has a job as a lead on a network sitcom that will be eligible for syndication after about three more episodes. That buddy cop movie co-starring Katherine Heigl will just have to wait until FOTB is on hiatus. It’s not fair, and it fucking sucks. What’s a girl gotta do to get fired these days?

She can blame ABC President Karey Burke, who announced that Constance’s Twitter tantrum didn’t affect their decision to keep her on for the upcoming season.

“There’s been no thought to recasting Constance. We love what she does on the show. I did actually know that Constance had another opportunity had ‘Fresh Off The Boat’ not gone forward she would have pursued. But we never really considered not bring back ‘Fresh off the Boat.’ It was just too strong. I’m going to choose to believe Constance’s most recent communication about the show that she’s happy to return and the cast and crew is happy to have her back,” Burke said.

Karey, you got it twisted, girl! Constance said LOUD AND CLEAR: “it’s meaningful to make the choice to believe women”. You can’t simply choose to believe whatever makes you feel better. Constance said what she said, and she meant what she said. FOTB touched her inappropriately, and she doesn’t want anything to do with it anymore. Believe THAT!


Emma Thompson Shared A Letter She Wrote When She Quit A Film Because The Studio Hired John Lasseter

February 26, 2019 / Posted by:

Dame Emma Thompson knows what time it is, and when your #TimesUp, she ain’t fucking with you no more. Dame Emma put her own ass on the line to ensure that ex-Pixar head John Lasseter’s alleged sexual misconduct doesn’t get swept under the rug and forgotten by dropping out of the upcoming animated film Luck in protest of him being hired by the movie’s production company Skydance Media. As soon as Emma heard that Skydance had hired John to head their animation division, despite the fact that he had been fired from Disney/Pixar for being a super creep at work, she threatened to walk. When that didn’t send them back to the drawing board to look for resumes that didn’t list “surprise handsy hugs” as a special skill, she quit. That was on January 20th. Three days later she sent a scathing yet measured “here’s how you fucked up” letter letting them know exactly why. Today she let the L.A. Times go ahead and publish it.

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Umpires Are Threatening To Boycott Matches Where Serena Williams Is Playing

September 11, 2018 / Posted by:

Serena Williams had a really shitty week at work. She got frustrated, lost her shit, and got into trouble with the powers that be. After accusing her immediate supervisor, US Open umpire Carlos Ramos, of being a thief (for taking a point away from her) and then abusing a racket, Serena was fined $17,000 for her behavior.

Serena later defended her outburst saying that female athletes aren’t afforded the same leeway when it comes expressing their emotions as their male counterparts. Sexism? In sports? Hard to believe! But ok. The USTA (US Tennis Association) and the WTA (Women’s Tennis Association) both supported Serena’s claims of sexism and decried the subjective way in which penalties are doled out. Their support has angered the umpires and they’re now threatening to boycott any matches in which Serena is playing.

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“Lost” Creators Issued An Apology To Evangeline Lilly For Her Bad Experiences On Set

August 3, 2018 / Posted by:

“Lost” creators J.J. Abrams and Damon Lindelof would like to clear the air regarding Evangeline Lilly. Primarily, they would like to address the bad experiences she reported over being asked to do nudity on the set of Lost. For that, they are sorry.  Secondarily, they would like me to know that Evangeline goes by Evie, not Ms. Vangie as previously reported. For that, I am not sorry.

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Evangeline Lilly Didn’t Love Her Job, Or Her Character On “Lost”

August 2, 2018 / Posted by:

If you hated Kate on Lost, you’re not alone. Evangeline Lilly also hated Kate on Lost. Errybody hates Kate! Evangeline recently appeared on The Lost Boys podcast and talked mad shit about Kate Austin, the character she played for 6 seasons on Lost. She also talked about a couple of bad experiences she had on the show, which explain why you won’t be seeing her titties on the screen anytime in the near future.

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