Category: Sandra Lee
Angus Young Has Never Looked Hotter
The Crystal Enchantress of the Ice Johnny Weir hung up his polar bear stole and his boa made from bedazzled swan feathers for the night to slip into a Hogwarts uniform that puts the HUFF and PUFF in Hufflepuff. Harry Potter’s wand will not stop spitting out the glitter once it gets a piece of this. Pee Weir Herman cast a bretha mortis spell (aka the killing these hos spell) at last night’s NYC premiere of Harry Potter and the Deathly Swallows, and then he gave them life again by popping a hip to pose. Everyone was slytherin’ in their pants.
And those who had to clean their mess in the bathroom after laying their eyes on Johnny were: Rupert Grint, Emma Watson, DanRad, Matthew Broderick with his son and Voldemort’s mistress, Joey Fatone with his daughter, Precious, Tom Felton, Ralph Fineass, Liam Neeson, The First Drunk of New York, Lourdes Leon and Darren Criss.
Presenting The New First Lady Of New York!!!!
Andrew Cuomo is officially the new governor of New York, which means the drunk blueberry in his frozen glass of Hpnotiq named Sandra Lee is sort of the first of Lady of New York! The fountains will be filled with malt liquor and frozen juice! The banquet tables at the state dinner will be covered with tablescapes made with shit found in the clearance bins at Big Lots and they will serve Uncle Ben’s Risotto. And New York’s new official dessert is going to be microwaved Twinkies with banana baby food drizzled on top. Oh, and did I mention it will be a non-stop booze party? My guess is that public intoxication is no longer illegal since the new first lady is always publicly drunk as all fuck. WEEEEE! We’ll all be tanked for the next 4 years!
Unfortunately, this means that the rent is still 2 damn high!