Just The 12 Of Us

Rosie O’Donnell has been dating her new girlfriend Tracy Kachtick-Anders for approximately 6-minutes (that’s around 2 years in gayelle time), and she’s already making plans to move her into her home.

Rosie O tells Oprah that as soon as she laid eyes on Tracy, her vag popped and her Home Depot credit card melted, “So she got out of the car in Miami and I was, like, zoinks, you know, because she’s absolutely gorgeous and, I don’t know, I felt like I knew her right away. It was very odd.”

When Oprah asked Rosie if she wants Tracy to live with her, Gayle King burst into tears and ran out of the studio. But they all ignored her, and Rosie answered, “Yes, as soon as we can arrange the kids’ thing where she lives in Texas, you know.”

They’re gonna need a bigger EVERYTHING, because Rosie has 4 kids and Tracy has 6. It’s like The Brady Bunch: Lesbian Edition. The Dykey Bunch! Actually, scratch that, because I think the original Brady Bunch was the lesbian version. Those were both gayelles, right?

via People

Rosie O’s New Piece Has A Child Army Of Her Very Own

The ladyfriend Rosie O’Donnell was spotted holding hands with the other day is her new bagina bumpin’ lover. And the woman sounds like even St. Angie bows down before her halo. That was served without any sarcasm. Not a drop. I know, mark this day in your calendars.

People reports that Rosie’s partner in pussy is Tracy Kachtick-Anders, an artiste from Texas. Tracy is also the founder of the Open Arms Campaign, a non-profit that brings together foster kids with gay and gayelle families. Tracy is the mother of six kids. Five are adopted and several of them have special needs.

The two met online through Rosie’s blog. Tracy posted some comment that made Rosie’s clit stand up and pay attention. The rest is lezzie history.

It’s a good thing that Tracy is a mother to six kids. That means she’ll know exactly what to do when Rosie throws one of her major dyketrums.

Rosie O’s New Partner In Pussy?

Rosie O’Donnell really hasn’t been seen with a new piece since splitting up with her longtime partner a few months ago, but here she is strolling through Miami with a ladyfriend. A ladyfriend who she may or may not be clapping clits with in the early morning hours.

But good for Rosie if her ladyfriend is munchin’ the socks right off of her. Actually, I hope Rosie’s ladyfriend is eating her Dorito pie until those evil CROCS go flying off her feet and land in a trash can. If her ladyfriend can do that, she should get a damn Nobel Peace Prize.

I’m sure Rosie wears CROCS because it feels like her feet are in the middle of a vagina sandwich. But it would be much more attractive if she walked around with two silicone pussies on her feet instead.

Rosie O’Donnell Is Pissing People Off Again

Rosie O’Donnell has the complexion of a Dorito, so it’s not surprising to hear that when she’s not chomping on clams, she’s surrendering herself to the sun all day long (smells like boiled pork rinds). On Rachel “I’m Not Giving Her That Extra A” Ray’s show last week, Rosie proclaimed that she “lives to tan” and “exposure to the sun isn’t dangerous.”

Thanks to her comments, the hos at the Ray Festa Melanoma Foundation want to shove a strap-on into Rosie’s mouth. One of the group’s strongest supporters told Page Six that Rosie’s comment was “irresponsible.” They added, “Going out into the sun without protection is as, or even more dangerous, than having unprotected sex.”

But is it more dangerous than looking at a picture of Rosie O’Donnell’s turkey sun-dried tomato face without protection? Probably. Just in case, you should squirt an entire tube of SPF INFINITY into your eyes and put on a condom before looking directly at Rosie.

The Gayelle Romance That Could’ve Been

Way before St. Angie was healing the world with her divine vagina and sucking the youth out of Brad Pitt, she had a “phone fling” with none other than Rosie O’Donnell. Once you’ve talked your genitals off of the ledge, read on……

On Howard Stern’s show (via Popeater) the other day, Rosie O not only confirmed that she’s no longer munching on Kelli Carpenter’s carpet, but she also briefly talked about the phone time she spent with St. Angie. Rosie said, “We talked on the phone two or three times, but that was that. There was a tentative plan to have dinner that never came through. I was a little afraid of her. She’s scary in a sexual kind of way.”

What a missed opportunity for all of us. To think, we could have had Rosielina instead of Brangelina. Which means instead of crazed Brangaloonies terrorizing our lives, we would be dodging flannel-wearing, saw dust-farting Rosielinaloonies. And honestly, I’d rather be bitched out by a big butchie with a flat top. It kind of gives me the tingles, actually.

And for those you saying that St. Angie would never lick on Rosie’s ham muffin, might I remind you of an elderly turtle named Billy Bob Thornton?

Donald Trump Is Loving This

A little while ago, The National Enquirer said that Rosie O’s partner in pussay, Kelli Carpenter, moved out of their home and shuffled off to Manhattan. At the time, Rosie didn’t say much about the rumor. Well, now she’s talking to USA Today and says the two are having problems. Doesn’t it make you sad in the heart thinking about Rosie’s strap-on collecting dust because Kelli isn’t around to give it a little attention? That one was for Donald Trump.

When asked about the gayelle drama, Rosie O said, “We’re a family. We will remain a family forever. And we are working on our issues. Kelli and I love each other very much and we are working on our issues. Those are the only words I am ever going to say. Ever. And that is something that has been agreed upon by all parties. But everything’s fine and everybody’s good and we’re still both raising them together. We will both continue to parent them and we’re friendly and everything’s all right.”

This sounds like the two have already split on each other’s splits. I’ve always liked Rosie, but I’m sure living with her isn’t all free giveaways, rainbows and showtunes. But hopefully, Rosie and Kelli will be back to bumping ‘ginas soon so that we don’t have listen to Donald Trump go on and on about this. If the Trump wins, we all lose.