Rosie O’Donnell And Tatum O’Neal Might Be Doing It

Recently, the universe decided that we needed a new couple that redefines “random” and so it pulled out Rosie O’Donnell’s name from a hat and pulled out Tatum O’Neal’s name from another hat and BOOM. A new random couple was born.

Rosie O’Donnell’s rep denies that she’s humping on Tatum O’Neal and says that the two have been strictly friends for years. But People says that they’re more than just friends and Tatum has given Rosie a coochie to cry on as she heals from the sad shit that went down with her daughter.

Tatum said a few months ago that she’s been doing the backstroke in the lady pond recently. Rosie O and Tatum O went to the opening of the Hamilton on Broadway last month and they supposedly had an “intimate” dinner afterward. The source says that their love is bi-coastal and when they’re not doing it in Nyack, they’re doing it in Los Angeles. The source said this about The Double O:

“They are romantically involved. It’s a bicoastal relationship. They are confidantes. They are hanging out. They have seen each other on both coasts, in Nyack and in Los Angeles.”

Page Six says that Rosie O jokingly called Tatum O “her new wife” at the opening of Hamilton. The Daily Mail also posted screenshots of tweets that Rosie O re-tweeted about Tatum O. Yup, that obviously means they’re fucking. Rosie O is still technically married to her second wife Michelle Rounds. They broke up earlier this year and are going through a messy divorce.

If these two really are together, then their union has all the makings of a mess waiting to explode. When they’re not screaming at each other, they’ll be make-up munching and when they’re not make-up munching, they’ll be screaming at each other until their mouths fall off. They’re going to be like Chico’s version of Samantha Ronson and Lindsay Lohan.

Pics: Wenn.com

Rosie O’Donnell’s Daughter Has Moved In With Her Biological Mother

Just a few days after Rosie O’Donnell’s teenage daughter Chelsea was discovered by police hiding in the house of a 25-year-old dude she met on Tinder, she has left home again. TMZ says that Chelsea turned 18 on Monday and she spent her birthday driving to Wisconsin to live with her born mother Deanna Micoley for a while. Rosie didn’t exactly give her blessing and an already messy situation just got another layer of messy added to it.

Chelsea became a part of Rosie’s family in 1997 and she didn’t have any contact with Deanna until last year. Chelsea tracked her down and the two have been talking ever since. TMZ says that on Monday, Deanna drove from Wisconsin to New York to pick up Chelsea. Rosie didn’t want Chelsea to go, but she went anyway. Rosie responded to that by cutting her off financially. Rosie is also keeping Chelsea’s birth certificate and social security card.

A few months ago, Deanna went to The National Enquirer and accused Rosie of “stealing” Chelsea in 1997. Deanna claims she was high on the bad shit at the time she gave birth to Chelsea and her then husband forced her to give the baby up for adoption. Deanna thinks that Rosie must’ve known that she was fucked up on drugs and was in no condition to make a giant decision like putting her baby up for adoption. Deanna said at the time that Rosie didn’t like Chelsea talking to her and tried to tear them apart:

“Rosie wants to paint me as a horrible person and says adopting Chelsea saved her from a life of misery. Rosie even hired someone to dig up my criminal record and gave it to Chelsea. But bless her heart, Chelsea told me the past was the past, and she loves me!”

This whole situation is a wreck, but leaving home because you’re pissed at your mom is pretty common. I did it and I lasted about 45 minutes. Also, I have a feeling Chelsea will go back to Rosie’s house after spending 2 hours waiting in the line from hell to get a new birth certificate and social security card.

And this mess is giving me “Losing Isaiah” vibes. Only in this version, Halle Berry is a white lady from Wisconsin, Jessica Lange is Rosie O’Donnell and Isaiah is a teenage ginger whose Tinder friend is in jail for allegedly texting her a dick pic.

Pic: @Rosie

New Jersey Police Arrested The Alleged Heroin Dealer That Hid Rosie O’Donnell’s Daughter In His House

It looks like Rosie O’Donnell’s back will get a much-needed break from dragging Steve Sheerer, the 25-year-old alleged heroin dealer her daughter Chelsea met on Tinder and snuck away from home for, up and down the internet, because he was arrested in New Jersey last night. Way to go, Steve – you now have the perfect mugshot for parents to use when they want to warn their kids about running away and meeting alleged heroin dealers on Tinder. “This guy…this is the guy you’ll meet.”

People says that Steve Sheerer was arrested Friday night at his home in Barnegat, NJ and has been charged with child endangerment and communication of obscenity, aka what Michael K’s lawyer slaps me with every time I mention that I don’t think Shauna Sand is that pretty. He could face up to five years in prison for each charge. The arrests happened after police searched Chelsea’s phone (with Rosie’s consent) and found “evidence of inappropriate communications over the last several weeks” between Steve and 17-year-old Chelsea.

Steve Sheerer has been told he’s not allowed to contact the O’Donnell family, and his bail has been set at $40,000. “$40,000? Wow, it’s almost like you weren’t cool with your 17-year-old daughter running off without your permission to hang out with some 25-year-old dude” thought Kylie Jenner’s mother.

Hopefully many lessons have been learned from this situation. For Steve, it’s that if you meet up with a 17-year-old on Tinder and hide her in your attic, you will be looking at the inside of a cell for a while. For Chelsea, it’s that you don’t go meeting strange dudes who look like Steve Sheerer on Tinder, because you will end up hiding out in an attic. And for Bear the Therapy Doggie, it’s that when Chelsea tells you to pack your bags for a road trip, you make sure to sit her down, place a paw on her shoulder, and ask if it will be the kind of trip that ends with a game of hide and seek in attic.

Pic: Ocean County Prosecutor’s Office

Rosie O’Donnell’s Teenage Daughter Was Found At The Home Of An Alleged Heroin Dealer She Met On Tinder

On Tuesday, Rosie O’Donnell busted an AMBER ALERT on Twitter after her 17-year-old daughter Chelsea and Chelsea’s therapy dog Bear had gone missing for a week. Chelsea has a mental illness and was off her meds, so a serious situation was really serious. Thankfully, Chelsea and Bear were found safe on Tuesday night after the cops got involved and pinged her burner cell phone.

People says that Chelsea’s cell phone led the cops to the home of 25-year-old Steve Sheerer in Barnegat, NJ. A source says that at first, Steve played dumb with the cop and said that Chelsea wasn’t at his house. But Steve seemed nervous and eventually let the cop into his house. The cop searched the house and found Chelsea and Bear hiding in the attic. She cooperated and left with the cops.

The cops apparently knew who Steve Sheerer was, because in 2012 he was charged with “charged with third-degree possession of heroin with the intent to distribute, third-degree possession of heroin, third-degree endangering the welfare of a child, and possession of drug paraphernalia” after he and a woman were pulled over. Cops found heroin in the car. They also had two kids with them in the car.  Steve pleaded guilty to the welfare of a child charge. He served 53 days in jail in 2013 and was put on probation for the heroin possession charge.

The cops say that Chelsea and Steve met on Tinder, but they’re not dating. They’re just “acquaintances.”

Rosie O didn’t waste any time in airing Steve’s past on Twitter. Yesterday, Rosie tweeted Steve’s picture as well as his criminal history.

Sheerer charged wthird-degree possession of heroin with the intent to distribute, third-degree possession of heroin, pic.twitter.com/pxfvC5rJYc

— Rosie (@Rosie) August 19, 2015

The good news is that Chelsea is fine and so is Bear (who deserves a raise for the shit he has been put through).

This is also a warning to anyone who wants kids. One day when they’re a teenager, you may have to go to the police station to pick them up after they’re found hiding in the attic of a grown dude they met on Tinder. No, thank you. That sounds like a nightmare almost worse than your kid saying to you, “It’s my birthday and I want you to take me to the One Direction concert.”

Pic: @rosie

Rosie O’Donnell’s Daughter Chelsea Is Missing (UPDATE)

In upsetting news, Rosie O’Donnell’s adopted daughter Chelsea has been reported missing. Rosie posted the following on her blog today:

Rosie O’Donnell’s 17 year old daughter, Chelsea O’Donnell was reported missing. Nyack, New York police authorities have been looking for her in the Rockland County area since Sunday, August 16. She was last seen Tuesday, August 11. She was wearing a black sweatshirt hoodie, dark ripped blue jeans, women’s grey converse sneakers and a black backpack. Chelsea has a large tattoo on her right side of a dream catcher with the word ‘Breathe.’ She left home with her 6 month old therapy dog named Bear. The dog is a 9 lbs brown and black terrier. Chelsea stopped taking her medicine and is in need of medical attention. Any information please contact authorities at 845-358-0206 or 911.

Rosie also Tweeted this today:

chelsea and her dog bear – last seen in nyack ny – may be in NYC – please call 845-358-0206 or 911 pic.twitter.com/1jXbNxravZ

— Rosie (@Rosie) August 18, 2015

It reads like there’s more to this story considering the timeline, but let’s hope that they find her safe. Chelsea’s biological mother Deanna Micoley accused Rosie, who adopted Chelsea in 1997, of having “stolen” her (Page Six via The National Enquirer).

Hopefully she just left to go slap Trump in his anus face and forgot to leave a note.

Update from Michael: Rosie O’Donnell tweeted tonight that Chelsea has been found and is safe. She’s with police. Bear is also safe.

Donald Trump’s Touching Love Affair With Rosie O’Donnell Was Reopened During The Debate Last Night

If you pulled your hungover self out of a puddle of booze-infused slobber and tears this morning, then your name is probably Dina Lohan and it’s just another weekday. Or you watched the entertaining circus of beautiful fuckery that was the Republican Presidential Debate last night. It was the weirdest and most confusing circle jerk I’ve ever seen.

The night started off with a bang when ranting merkin Donald Trump declared that he maaaay run independent, and then he blew another wet, slobbery air kiss at his longtime soulmate Rosie O’Donnell. One of the debate’s moderators, Megyn Kelly, brought up Jabba the Trump’s history of calling women he hates “fat pigs,” “dogs,” “slobs,” and “disgusting animals,” and he stopped her by saying, “Only Rosie O’Donnell.” And just like that, open mic night had officially started!

As the crowd ate that shit up, the corroded veins of my dead heart warmed, because it’s nice seeing that the love between Trump and Rosie O’Donnell is still alive after all these years.

But of course, Trump wouldn’t be Trump if he stopped there. The rejected Dick Tracy villain let Megyn Kelly know that he doesn’t like how she’s treated him before and he could open the library on her ass and read her from cover to cover, but he’s not going to do that. I expected him to look Megyn up and down and say, “Check your weave before you come and talk to me, bitch!”

The Juliet to Donald’s Romeo, Rosie O’Donnell, responded to what Trump said by tweeting: “try explaining that 2 ur kids.” I don’t know if she was talking about the shit Trump said about her or the shit on his head.

Trump continued to finger bang his own b-hole this morning by saying that his Rosie line won the night and he won the whole debate. Trump has left Rosie alone FOR NOW, but he continued to talk shit about Megyn Kelly on Twitter:

Wow, @megynkelly really bombed tonight. People are going wild on twitter! Funny to watch.

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) August 7, 2015

And by “people,” I think he means the people he paid to talk shit about Megyn Kelly on Twitter.

But enough about Trump, here’s the First Lady of Gold Digging Trophy Wives, Melania Trump, giving you Peaches and Cream business woman glamour while arriving in Cleveland for the debate.

Pics: Getty, Splash