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Michelle Duggar Isn’t Done Yet
Michelle Duggar isn’t even trying to notice the white flag sticking out of her vag or trying to hear her uterus moaning out the grim reaper song, because she told Meredith Vieira on Today this morning that she will welcome a 20th fetus to her womb if she got pregnant.
Those words echoed through her crotch hangar and sent shivers through all her baby making parts. If you put your ear to the screen in the video above, you can almost hear them all screaming “SANTO DIOS!!!!!!” It’s like Michelle is trying beat McDonald’s record. Only 245,000,000,080 more to go!
Michelle and Jim Bob’s 19th baby, Josie, was born 3 months premature and suffered from a perforated bowel. Josie was in and out of the hospital for a while and still needs supplemental oxygen when she sleeps. Even though Josie went through some serious shit and a 20th baby could have similar complications, Michelle would still do it again.
She told Meredith, “Knowing that we went through the challenge we did, we would do it again. In the fact that here we have this precious gift and it’s a miracle. It really is. And I spoke with a mother who was in the NICU the same time we were and as they were leaving the room we were both in, she came over and spoke to me and said, ‘This is my second baby that’s been in the NICU.’ And I think, ‘You know, the precious life we see here is not a coincidence.’ I just know it’s a miracle. I don’t take that for granted. I know that God is the one who gives life. And I’m just so grateful and thankful. And we would welcome another if he saw fit, but we’ll just wait and see.”
Michelle needs to stand up and repeat this: “My name is Michelle Duggar and I’m a babyaholic!”
At this point, bitch’s uterus is beyond over this shit and is probably about to stage a revolt! It’s crawling through Michelle’s coochie tunnel and is quietly waiting for Jim Bob’s peen to make an appearance. As soon as her uterus sees Jim Bob’s evil peen head peeking in, it will plug that bitch’s mouth up so his sperm fishies can go back to where they came from! Michelle’s uterus is done with playing!
A Quote From A Popcorn Popper
Radar asked Michelle Duggar if she’s thinking about adding baby #20 to the pile, and she had this to say:
“We would love more! I’m 43 almost 44 this September, I know that my mommy years are probably numbered and I don’t know how many more children God will see fit to give me.”
Michelle Duggar’s uterus was unable to respond to her comment, because it was too busy doing this:
The 19th Duggar Came Early (Really Early)
Michelle Duggar gave birth to a teeny tiny baby girl last night after doctors performed an emergency c-section. No, the reason for the c-section was not because Michelle’s vagina padlocked its doors and provided no forwarding address. Michelle had to have an emergency c-section, because her daughter is only 25 weeks old. Their new daughter weighed in at only 1lb., 6 oz.
The Duggars have of course, kept with the “J” theme by naming baby #19 Josie Brooklyn Duggar. The Duggars name-dropped the borough I currently terrorize so I’ll raise my mug of Sanka (the machine is broken again) to them.
A rep from TLC tells TMZ that Josie Brooklyn is in stable condition in the neonatal intensive-care unit at the University of Arkansas’ medical center.
The rep added: “Michelle, who has been in the hospital recovering from a gallstone, was taken to the OR for an emergency c-section. The most important thing right now is for Mom and baby Josie to get as much rest as possible. The family is grateful for all the prayers and well wishes during their recovery.”
Hopefully, Josie Brooklyn will go home to the other members of the Duggar child army very soon. And also, let’s hope someone gives Jim Bob a fleshlight for Christmas this year.
(Note: That’s an old picture from a different birth)
Michelle Duggar Is In The Hospital
Michelle Duggar is laid up in a hospital bed today, and not because her vagina finally fell off and called 911. No, Michelle’s gallbladder was fucking with her. Michelle is currently carrying her 19th BABY!!!! in her permanently-weepy womb, but doctors say her fetus is fine. A rep for the Duggars’ TLC show 18 Kids and Counting had this to say to People:
“This weekend, Michelle Duggar was admitted to an Arkansas hospital due to gallbladder issues. The pain from a gallstone was generating some contractions. Just to be safe, she was airlifted a Little Rock, Ark., hospital, so that in the unlikely event that she had to be delivered early, she would be close to a NICU center. Though there were some fears that the baby was in trouble initially, it soon was discovered to be solely the gallstone causing the discomfort. Michelle is resting comfortably, and the baby is doing fine. Doctors want to observe Michelle in the hospital for the next couple of days, but it would appear that the pain medication they have given her for the gallstone has worked, and there is no need for immediate surgery. The hope is that any necessary surgery can be delayed until after she delivers. Doctors want to observe Michelle in the hospital for the next couple of days, but it would appear that the pain medication they have given her for the gallstone has worked, and there is no need for immediate surgery. The hope is that any necessary surgery can be delayed until after she delivers.”
I hope that when the doctor told Michelle that they had to operate on her gallbladder, he whispered it. Because if he didn’t, that means her other organs heard it, and they are slowly going to try to make their way to her gallbladder. When the doctors open her up, her uterus and all her ovaries are going to jump out and run to the nearest church for MERCY! That will definitely cause a scene.
This Is News: There’s A New Duggar In The World
The Duggar family added another BABY!!! to their unstoppable child army last night. The oldest Duggar child, Joshua, and his wife, Ann, are now the parents of a brand new baby friend they named Mackynzie Renée Duggar. Mackynzie (pronounced: SAVE ME) is the first Duggar grandchild. Mackynzie’s grandparents, Michelle and Jim Bob, are going to have their 19th baby this spring.
It’s not really news that another Duggar popped out a baby. Humans comes shooting out of a Duggar cooch on a daily basis. This time next month, I’m sure the Duggars will announce that Mackynzie is knocked up with triplets. There’s something in the Kool-Aid over there and they all keep drinking it!
When you get a cramp in your uterus, it’s because one of the Duggars got knocked up again. Your uterus is weeping.
Anyway, the real news it that Joshua and Anna might going after the letter “M.” As you might know, Michelle and Jim Bob always give their children “J” names. This means that Joshua and Anna could do the same thing with the letter “M.” NOOOOO!
All of us with “M” names should file a class-action lawsuit against the Duggars. We must protect the letter from them. If that doesn’t work, I guess I can officially change my name to my junior high school nickname: Dyke-el. Thanks to the Duggars, the bullies have won.
Source: MSNBC
Uterus Abuse: Michelle Duggar Is Knocked Up With Her 19th BABY!!!!!
Everybody, please gather around, hold hands and bow your heads for Michelle Duggar’s lady parts, because they are going to go through some fucked up traumatic shit for like the zillionth time! Jim Bob, Michelle and their massive neverending child army were on Today this morning where they announced that they are expecting baby #19!!!!! Yes, the baby addict is getting her fix again! BABEHS just keep popping out of that clown car vag!
The 42-year-old babyhead told Meredith Vieira, “We are so thrilled. We just couldn’t believe it is happening.” Jim Bob added, “This never gets old. We are so grateful for each child. We are looking forward to our first grand baby and our 19th child.”
Never gets old?! Tell that to Michelle’s uterus! That poor thing has been holding up a white flag since baby #10 and nobody is listening. When baby #19 is about to come somersaulting out, Michelle’s uterus is going to grab on to its feet while screaming “TAKE ME WITH YOU!!!” All it wants to do is to get out of that crazy bitch’s body, head to the nearest crack house and drown its pain in the bad shit. Do you blame it? Even Ken Seeley from Intervention is shaking his head and saying, “Do you what you gotta do, Duggar Uterus.”
Michelle added that she knows at her age there are certain risks (i.e. her pussy could fall off and throw itself into incoming traffic). Michelle says as far as she knows, her fetus is doing well. Michelle and the entire family would know! If they want to check on her fetus, they just have to pack a few granola bars, crawl into her vag, skip down her pussy tunnel toward her womb and wave to the fetus. Seriously, when Michelle is done being a human popcorn machine, she can open up a theme park in there. WOMBLAND!
Michelle and Jim Bob’s oldest child, Joshua, is also expecting a baby friend this October with his wife. Michelle 3-months pregnant and is due in the spring.
In case you didn’t know, all of the Duggars 18 children have names starting with the letter J. Michelle said that the family has already printed up a list of J names for boys and girls that they haven’t used yet. How about “JUSTSTOPTHISFUCKERYALREADY Duggar“?
And here’s a list of all of the Duggar children. While reading it, you might want to pet your vag and reassure it that you will never ever do this to it:
- Joshua James, 21
- Jane Marie, 19
- John-David, 19
- Jill Michelle, 18
- Jessa Lauren, 16
- Jinger Nicole, 15
- Joseph Garrett, 14
- Josiah Matthew, 13
- Joy-Anna, 11
- Jedidiah Robert, 10
- Jeremiah Robert, 10
- Jason Michael, 9
- James Andrew, 8
- Justin Samuel, 6
- Jackson Levi, 5
- Johanna Faith, 3
- Jennifer Danielle, 2
- Jordyn-Grace, 8 months
VIA Popeater