Robin Thicke Has The Worst Pick-Up Lines

When that picture of Robin Thicke getting a handful of socialite/student Lana Scolaro’s ass made the rounds, you just knew that she would do an interview with some tabloid, which would would lead to a spread in Girls & Corpses magazine, which would lead to a “leaked sex tape,” which would lead to a regular spot on Vh1’s upcoming reality show R&B Groupies, which would lead to her putting out a make-up line for the party girl who wants her tar-made eyeliner to last 40 days and 40 nights. Well, Lana Scolaro is on step one of that fame whore journey.

Lana told Life & Style what happened the night that Robin Thicke got the scent of her ass on his fingertips. 20-year-old Lana says that she met Robin at a friend’s party a week before the VMAs. At the VMAs after-party at 1Oak, Robin sashayed up to Lana and dropped a pick-up line he obviously stole from PedoBear. Robin supposedly said:

“I just love the fact that you’re so young.”

What kind of To Catch A Predator crap is that? That sounds exactly like a line Chris Hansen read off of a chat transcript between a pedo and a decoy. It also sounds like something a chef would say to a dead calf before making veal chops.

Lana said that Robin’s hands stuck to her for most of the night and his wife Paula Patton was at the party too. Lana told Robin that she didn’t want to hook up with him, because he’s married and he told her that Paula is “chill” and will totally talk to her. After the party, Lana, Robin and Paula got into his car and went to another party in a suite at the Greenwich Hotel. Robin and Lana were all over each other on the couch and then she went to the bathroom:

“I went to the bathroom, and when I came out he was standing there. He turned off the lights so no one could see us, and he started making out with me. He was grabbing me. He was like, ‘I want to get you into bed!’”

They didn’t get into bed. They kept getting interrupted and when the party got broken up at 8 in the morning, Robin gave Lana his number and said that they’d see each other again during New York Fashion Week.

Blind items have told me for a while that Robin Thicke and Paula Patton’s marriage is wide open and now it all makes sense. If Robin uses lines like “I just love the fact that you’re so young” to pick up a trick, imagine the crap he says while boning. (No, don’t or you may cringe yourself  inside/out). Paula has lived through years of hearing lines like that, so she’d rather smoke a joint in the corner by herself while Robin dribbles those lines into another ho’s ear for once.

(Pic via Instagram)

Robin Thicke Is Smooth

This picture of Robin Thicke sticking his hand in the cookie jar (Side note: Beware of mirrors, they’ll always call you out the hell out. Case in point.) made the rounds on Tumblr and Twitter a day or two after the VMAs before ending up on MediaTakeOut. Not much was known about this mess and some said it was an old picture. But Radar and The Daily Mail put their magnifying glasses up to Robin’s sticky fingers and got to the bottom of EVERYTHING.

The Daily Mail says that the Tara Reid and Paris Hilton circa 2002 hybrid is student/socialite type Lana Scolaro. Lana Instagrammed a few pictures she took with Robin including this one of her looking like a demure raccoon getting the shocker from Dr. Seaver’s son. Radar says that the picture isn’t old. It was taken at a VMAs after-party that Robin hosted at 1OAK in NYC. Robin’s wife of 8 years Paula Patton was at the club that night.

Paula recently said that she once hid in the bushes to try to catch Robin passing his dick to another trick, so you’d think she’d be pissed about this picture, but I doubt it. They seem wide open to me. A look of shock would not cover my face if you told me that she lets him be a slut. I bet she makes a “Huh? What’s going on here?” face when she DOESN’T smell another chick’s ass on his fingers.

And when Robin’s mother Gloria Loring was asked about this picture, she said, “I don’t understand what that girl is trying to do. I was not expecting her to be putting her butt on my son’s hand The problem is now I can never unsee it.”

Here’s Robin wearing the same outfit while posing next to a messy Paula Patton at the VMAs.

Pics: Wenn.com