Robin Thicke Has The Worst Pick-Up Lines

September 4, 2013 / Posted by:

When that picture of Robin Thicke getting a handful of socialite/student Lana Scolaro’s ass made the rounds, you just knew that she would do an interview with some tabloid, which would would lead to a spread in Girls & Corpses magazine, which would lead to a “leaked sex tape,” which would lead to a regular spot on Vh1’s upcoming reality show R&B Groupies, which would lead to her putting out a make-up line for the party girl who wants her tar-made eyeliner to last 40 days and 40 nights. Well, Lana Scolaro is on step one of that fame whore journey.

Lana told Life & Style what happened the night that Robin Thicke got the scent of her ass on his fingertips. 20-year-old Lana says that she met Robin at a friend’s party a week before the VMAs. At the VMAs after-party at 1Oak, Robin sashayed up to Lana and dropped a pick-up line he obviously stole from PedoBear. Robin supposedly said:

“I just love the fact that you’re so young.”

What kind of To Catch A Predator crap is that? That sounds exactly like a line Chris Hansen read off of a chat transcript between a pedo and a decoy. It also sounds like something a chef would say to a dead calf before making veal chops.

Lana said that Robin’s hands stuck to her for most of the night and his wife Paula Patton was at the party too. Lana told Robin that she didn’t want to hook up with him, because he’s married and he told her that Paula is “chill” and will totally talk to her. After the party, Lana, Robin and Paula got into his car and went to another party in a suite at the Greenwich Hotel. Robin and Lana were all over each other on the couch and then she went to the bathroom:

“I went to the bathroom, and when I came out he was standing there. He turned off the lights so no one could see us, and he started making out with me. He was grabbing me. He was like, ‘I want to get you into bed!’”

They didn’t get into bed. They kept getting interrupted and when the party got broken up at 8 in the morning, Robin gave Lana his number and said that they’d see each other again during New York Fashion Week.

Blind items have told me for a while that Robin Thicke and Paula Patton’s marriage is wide open and now it all makes sense. If Robin uses lines like “I just love the fact that you’re so young” to pick up a trick, imagine the crap he says while boning. (No, don’t or you may cringe yourself  inside/out). Paula has lived through years of hearing lines like that, so she’d rather smoke a joint in the corner by herself while Robin dribbles those lines into another ho’s ear for once.

(Pic via Instagram)

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