Category: Over The Moon
The “Over The Moon” Watch: Prince Hot Ginge Edition
You know that feeling when someone you truly love with whatever is left of your heart and soul says something hurtful, confusing and a little threatening? Like when you were in high school and your parents told you not to fuck or snort coke under their roof. Yeah, like that. Well, that feeling slithered into my skin holes this morning when Prince Hot Ginge said the three dreaded words NOBODY wants to hear. No, I’m not talking about the words “I can’t cum” or “it’s last call.” I’m talking about: OVER THE MOOOOOOOON. How could the sparkle that makes my peen hole wink hurt all of us so!?Not only did he hurt us, but he also hurt the sun by bringing up the moon’s name. Because we all know that PHG is a piece of the sun that fell to the earth one morning. What does it look like when the sun frowns, because it’s going to be doing a lot of that today.
During an interview in Norway with Good Morning America for his Walking with the Wound trek through the North Pole, PHG dropped an OTM bomb when describing how his father feels about Prince William getting married. At the 5:40 mark below:
As much as it hurts, I will forgive PHG for this (BIG OF ME, I know). It’s colder than a Nicole Kidman stare in Norway right now, so maybe the elements are fucking with his brains. The part of his brain marked “things you don’t say in public” temporarily got mixed up with the part marked “things you do say in public” (examples: “kittens are cute” and “I only do gay sex stuff with American hapas”).
I’m glad we worked this out, because I really didn’t want to make my PHG cardboard cutout sleep on the couch tonight.
The “Over The Moon” Watch: Posh & Becks Edition
Posh should really be given a pass for this, because every morning she’s been praying to her collection of custom-made Louboutin booties that her womb is full of a female stick figure. So I figured that maybe she’s allowed one OTM violation this time. But then I imagined that when Becks said it out loud his helium voice really sounded like a cat diddling on a fiddle. No fucking pass.
At some luncheon thing for the L.A. Galaxy today, Becks told reporters that the “GIVE ME A DAMN GIRL” chant Posh did with voodoo priestess Karl Lagerfeld must’ve worked, because they’re having a lady baby!
“We’re still in shock. Obviously, having three boys, you kind of expect another one, so finding out a little girl is in there is surprising, but, obviously, we are over the moon. Our three boys are happy and excited, and Victoria is doing well.”
Posh is probably the only OTM user who could literally be thrown over the moon. Just have her sit on a teaspoon, and lightly flick her into the air. Come back the same time the next day, and hold out the teaspoon again to catch her.
You know, I know that it’s psychically impossible for Posh to birth a baby bigger than a flea’s kidney stone, but wouldn’t it be sort of perfect if she pushed out one that’s half her weight (30lbs). Posh would have to use 3 of the size -2 black onesies she bought to dress her adorably fat baby. Ho would make an extra-strength bitchface when using all her strength to push the Bentley stroller holding her adorably fat baby. YES! Oh, please give her an adorably fat baby with adorable baby cankles!
via USA Today
The “Over The Moon” Watch: Samantha Micelli Edition
To be fair to Alyssa Milano, she’s not completely free falling through the universe after high jumping over a Sam Rockwell movie. This OTM came from “a source” close to Alyssa has and her husband of almost 2 years Dave Buglia. And no, the source is not Mona Robinson, because she only uses “over the moon” when she needs a ladylike way of describing doggy style. Another friend is the one who launched Alyssa and Dave into space. From People:
The actress, 38, and her husband Dave Bugliari, 32, are expecting their first child, Milano’s rep confirms to PEOPLE exclusively.
“They’re just over the moon,” says a friend of the Who’s The Boss and Charmed alum, who’s due in early fall. “They are so excited.”
Alyssa also confirmed that her womb is currently occupied via Twitter.
Wait. Alyssa is 38 years old?! I guess time flies when you’re staring at the changing styles on Angela’s head. YAY! for Samantha and her overgrown hairy baby of a husband.
QOTD: Glee Is Full Of Commies, Or Something Like That
Glee’s Chris Colfer not only told the Hollywood Reporter that he is “OVER THE MOON” about their 5 Golden Globe nominations, but then he said that the show is:
“….like the Soviet Union: it’s getting bigger and bigger and I think it has a lot to do with the music — it unites everyone.”
No wonder I failed history over and over again. I did know that covers of Top 40 hits united the Soviet Union! Here I was thinking that vodka rations and Stalin babushka dolls did that.
The “Over The Moon” Watch: Prince & Willie & Kate Middleton
In my post this morning on the second most anticipated British wedding in history after Lucy and Bruno’s on Footballers Wives, I missed an extremely important part of Prince William and Kate Middleton’s official announcement made by his private secretary. Thankfully, many of you complete your morning ritual of eyeballing liquid caffeine earlier than I do, because you were awake enough to catch this shit and send it in.
“They’re on cloud nine like any other newly engaged couple and they’re now getting stuck into organising their wedding. They are completely over the moon – I’ve never seen two happier people which is fabulous.”
I will forgive Prince William for using his happiness as an excuse to violate the tortured moon as long as he passes me private pictures of the rising sun of Britain (aka Prince Hot Ginge’s nalgas) in all its fiery glory. We’ll call it even.
And speaking of OTM, did you know members of The Over The Moon Club will soon get to literally (in a Rachel Zoe kind way) go lunar jumping in the future? NASA is planning a one-way trip to Mars in about 20 years and they are looking for volunteers! I say we volunteer any and every bitch who has used OTM on a public forum since they are obviously beyond this planet already.
The “Over The Moon” Watch
NOT CHRISTINA HENDRICKS TOOOOOOOOO!!!! Christina tells Stylist about the time she went from blonde to ginge which made her pole vault with happiness over the you know fucking what:
“I was obsessed with the Canadian novel ‘Anne of Green Gables.’ So my mother said, ‘Let’s just go to the drugstore and get one of those cover-the-gray rinses!’ My hair was very blond at the time, but it went carrot red. And I was over the moon.”
Thanks to her magnificent chichis, Christina Hendricks is ALWAYS over two beautiful moons, so it goes without saying (Seriously, stop saying it, Christina).
(Thanks Kristen)