Mery Streep & Sandy Bullock: Leeeeeez Be Friends Forever!

Leading up to the Oscars, there’s ten million award shows where hos slip into something sparkly, spray their wet parts with perfume and make sure their titties sit up real nice. And I’m just talking about the dudes. Anyway, last night the hos of Hollywood wore their prom best for the Critics Choice Awards, which honors blah blah in blah blah for blah blah.

When Bradley Cooper opened the envelope to announce the winner of Best Actress in a Film, he declared that it was a TIE! Sandy Bullock (for The Blind Side) and Meryl Streep (for Julie & Julia) both won. Sandy must have left her chola attitude in George Lopez’s green room, because if she still had it with her, she would’ve taken a razor out of her hair and cut Meryl.

Instead, Sandy and Meryl kissed like the Simpson family on Christmas morning. Well, almost like the Simpson family. Sandy didn’t use tongue. Sandy doesn’t even kiss her husband with tongue before the sun sets, so it’s not surprising that she didn’t French on Meryl.

Here’s hoping that Sandy and Meryl have started a trend. At this Sunday’s Golden Globes, I’m crossing my ass lips that George Clooney and Colin Firth tie for Best Actor. And if they do, they better take those panties off and touch tongues! It’s the new way. Hell, I’d even settle for Morgan Freeman and Jeff Bridges.

Below is the clip of Meryl and Sandy’s G-rated lezzie lip-lock.

And here’s some pictures of hos from last night’s show including: Tom Ford, Julianne Moore, John Cho, Zachary Quinto, an escaped grizzly bear from the zoo, Emily Blunt, Sandy B, Kristin Chenoweth, Marion Cotillard, Purdy Zac Efron, Morgan Freeman with his ladyfreeend, Heather Graham, some virgin, Edward Gayhands, Heather Mills’ voodoo doll, Mo’Nique with her piece, Carey Mulligan, Zoe Saldana and Gabourey Sidibe.

Glamberace and ABC Have Made Up

After Glamberace’s AMAs performance, ABC closed their legs to him by canceling his appearances on Good Morning America, Jimmy Kimmel Live and Dick Clark’s Rockin’ New Year’s Eve. Well, ABC has finally pushed their panties to the side and is going to let Glamberace stick the tip in a little. Frankenliza will perform on The View this Thursday.

Glamberace’s performance will be pre-taped to make sure he doesn’t do anything kinky like force Hasselcrack to motorboat his ass or fuck himself with one of Whoopi’s dreadlocks.

The night before his appearance on The View, Glamberace will be interviewed by Barbara Walters for her Most Fascinating People special. Yes, Glamberace is fascinating to Barbara. Clearly, Barbara was just coming out of an Ambien sex haze when she made that decision.

via Popeater

ABC Isn’t Over It

The fallout from Glamberace’s fake dry orgy on the AMAs continues! Glamberace’s was already pushed off of ABC’s Good Whoring America, because they were afraid his ass shake might cause Sam Champion to give himself fellatio right then and there. But now it seems that ABC doesn’t want to see Glamberace’s “Maybe She’s Born With It” face anytime soon, because they have kicked him off Jimmy Kimmel Live and Dick Clark’s New Year’s Eve special.

A spokeswhore for ABC simply said, “We decided not to move forward with the booking at this time.”

Glamberace took to his Twitter to tells his rabid fans not to kick Mickey Mouse in the crotch bone, because it isn’t ABC’s fault. Glamberace wrote: “Yes, sadly friends, ABC has cancelled my appearances on Kimmel and NYE. 🙁 don’t blame them. It’s the FCC heat.”

The truth is, ABC just doesn’t have it in their budget to cover Glamberace’s hairspray bill.

And I must share this comment on the subject I read over at Popeater:

“the absolute most sickening televised spectacle ever witnessed by the eyes of humanity!!! and just another manifestion of satanic activity on display!!!!”

Somebody give this bitch the q-tip so they can calm down, because Glamberace’s performance wasn’t THAT good! Damn.

Is This The Double Standard Glamberace Was Talking About?

…..And we’re back to this again! CBS needs more people, because on The Early Show this morning, they completely proved Glamberace’s point that there is a double standard when it comes to doing gay stuff on TV.

During The Early Show’s interview with Glamberace, they aired his dude-on-dude kiss at the AMAs but made sure to put a lube stain over it so the children out there wouldn’t turn gay. A few beats later, they aired the infamous Cheeto-on-Vadge kiss without censoring it.

In that same interview, Glamberace said, “I think that if it had been a female pop performer doing the moves that were on the stage, I don’t think there would be nearly as much of an outrage. At all. Like I said, there were other performers doing risque things. I think it’s because I’m a gay male, and people haven’t seen that before.”

You know how much time we’ve all wasted on this “what’s suitable for TV” bullshit? We should just drop the FCC off at the bus station and wave goodbye. Then we should throw all the black boxes, beeps and blur dots into the trash can. That way dudes can kiss dudes, chicks can kiss chicks and we all can around with our nipples out. Weeeeee!

And if that isn’t going to work, then how about we just blur everything on TV so no one gets offended. Actually, most of you drunk ass bitches already stumble through life in a blur, so it wouldn’t be that much of a difference. Clip of “the blur” below:

UPDATE: CBS issued this bullshit statement, “The Madonna image is very familiar and has appeared countless times including many times on morning TV. The Adam Lambert image is a subject of great current controversy, has not been nearly as widely disseminated, and for all we know, may still lead to legal consequences.”

via TMZ

Oh…

When you’ve seen one music video with an orgy in a run down theater turned club, you’ve seen them all. And Glamberace’s video for “For Your Entertainment” is no exception. Based on his skull-screwing, pussy-bumping, tongue-fucking performance at the AMAs, I figured he would go all out in the video. But I was a wrong.

Watching this was like a bad first date with a hot piece who makes a dried banana peel look like a regular Miss Congeniality. You know, the kind of date where you’re sitting there, counting the minutes until the check comes, so you can take him to the back alley and shut his boring ass up by shoving your tongue in his mouth hole. But instead of getting some hot action at the end of the date, he sticks his hand out, shakes it and then gives you $5 for a $12 cab ride home. Time. Wasted.

So that’s what this video is like. I sat here waiting and waiting for prostate blowing faggotry. Not a tingle. Not a stir. Not a nothing. He could’ve at least wrapped a string of anal beads around that snake. Something!

ABC Is Not Saying Good Morning To Glamberace

Before we start, is that bulge all Glamberace or did Paula Abdul misplace her stash again? Discuss during the break. So….

Glamberace’s concert on ABC’s Good Morning America has been canceled, because they are afraid he’s going to deliver an encore of his AMAs dry humping orgy. Mickey Mouse needs to get his head shoved into a warm crotch for that one. ABC issued this statement:

“We hate gay stuff in the morning. Well, except for you, Sam Champion.”

No, this is their statement:

“Given his controversial American Music Awards performance, we were concerned about airing a similar concert so early in the morning.”

It’s not like Glamberace is going to piss on Diane Sawyer’s head or ass queef into Sam Champion’s face (Sam wishes). Why are whores even flaring their nostrils over NOTHING. This just confirms that the government needs to start handing out vibrators to everyone. Bitches need to loosen up, because it really isn’t that serious. However, ff they banned him because of his screeching, that would be a different story….

Patricia Heaton is on an ABC show and her face is way more offensive than ten million shots of Glamberace getting a fake blow job.