Children of the 80s, be prepared, because this story will ruin Uncle Phillip from Webster for you. And your eyes may be giving you the truth if you read his hat as, “sexual enforcer.”
In 2015, Tony winner Ben Vereen directed a community theater production of Hair (he was in the original Broadway production) at the Venice Theater in Venice, FL, and several of the female cast members say that he took the show’s theme of free love to horrific and illegal levels of NO. Now it makes sense as to why The Leading Player from Pippin supported Bill Cosby and wondered, “Aren’t there more important things to talk about in this world?” I bet ole’ Ben is wishing we’d go back to talking about Cosby instead of him.
If you have to suffer through the nastiest and grossest day of the week MONDAY, you might as well do it while staring pictures of the come-to-life Superman action figure Matt Bomer making b-holes howl and pussies slobber while working a tux at the Tonys last night. The real-life Steven Wakefield graduated from Carnegie Mellon and he was at the Tonys to present Carnegie Mellon with something and I didn’t really pay attention, because I was too busy asking myself, “For why is Matt Boner wearing so many clothes? Couldn’t he have paid tribute to Hair instead?!”
Either Matt Boner’s makeup artist forgot to powder his beauty or in NYC it’s more humid than Tyler Perry’s bussy when he flips through the Spirit of Black Men calendar on his office wall. Because Matt Boner is looked lubed-up in the face. I bet the most overheard line at the Tonys last night was, “Matt, you’re looking a little greasy, do you want me to lick that up for you?”
Here’s more of Matt Boner in a tux and pictures of other hos at the Tonys including Fran Drescher giving you Peaches ‘N Cream Barbie’s mom, Maggie Gyllenhaal looking like a disemboweled down comforter and Thalia wearing a shitting prom dress from the late 80s.