Alanis Morissette has made a seamless transition from 90s Canadian alternative queen to alternative mama type. So none of us should be shocked to learn that the mother of children named Ever, Onyx, and Winter and a father who goes by the nickname Souleye would be the type to skip conventional education in favor of an informal learning practice called “unschooling.” And she recently explained what exactly unschooling looks like at her house during an interview with Health magazine.
Well, well, well. Isn’t it ironic that Alanis Morissette is going on tour this summer? Why is it ironic? No one knows. Certainly not Alanis. But it’s true! Alanis Morissette, Liz Phair, and Garbage are going on tour this summer. Myself and every 90s angsty teen who had girl/boy drama is living for this tour. The next few months will be spent getting our flannels or short shiny dresses ready, dusting off those Doc Martins and reviving our rage at Uncle Joey from Full House for breaking Alanis’s heart AFTER SHE WENT DOWN ON HIM IN A THEATRE.
The Hollywood Reporter says that Jagged Little Pill the musical (which totally sounds like a joke from The Critic) will have its world premiere at the American Repertory Theater in Cambridge, MA in May 2018. It’s been in the works since 2013. It will feature songs from Jagged Little Pill as well as melodies lifted from Alanis’ other albums. The book was written by Diablo Cody, and it will be directed by Diane Paulus. THR says it will be a multi-generational family story that touches on “issues of gender identity and race,” and Alanis said this:
“This team that has come together for this Jagged Little Pill musical is my musical theater dream come true. The chemistry between all of us is crackling and I feel honored to be diving into these songs again, surrounded by all of this searing talent. Diablo and Diane are already taking these deeply personal songs that are part of my soul’s marrow to a whole other level of hope, freedom and complexity.”
They hope to take Jagged Little Pill to Broadway, but that sort of depends on how well it does in Cambridge first.
I’m really bummed the story won’t be based off the subject matter of Jagged Little Pill and all its scandalous Dave Coulier lore. And can you even really call it a Jagged Little Pill musical if Act 1 doesn’t end with all four Alanises from the Ironic video belting it out in the rain in front of a kick line of dancers dressed as flies, cigarettes, lottery tickets, and spoons?
Pic: Warner Music Group
Earlier this year, Alanis Morissette’s former business manager Jonathan Schwartz admitted to stealing millions of her hard earned dollars. Yes, hard earned; I don’t know if I would be brave enough to sell a song implying I blew Joey Gladstone in the back of an AMC.
Less than a month after it was reported that Alanis Morissette’s ex-manager had been stealing millions from her, another person has stolen from her. Damn, Alanis is starting to become one of the bad-luck examples she sings about in Ironic. Did an old carnival machine put a curse on her or something?
TMZ says that last Thursday, burglars broke into Alanis’ home in Brentwood, CA and went to town on her jewelry box. While Alanis wasn’t named by name, a police spokesperson confirmed today that a safe containing $2 million worth of jewelry was taken during the robbery. They also said that the bandits made off with other items or property, although it’s unclear what those other items are. No one was home at the time of the break-in.
As for how the burglars knew that Alanis’ house contained $2 million in jewelry, who even knows. Maybe they used specially-trained diamond-sniffing dogs or something. Or maybe they just follow Alanis on Instagram and thought “Those look nice, I think I’ll take all of them.”
About two weeks ago, Nicki Minaj’s house was broken into and $200,000 worth of jewelry and property was stolen.
The most surprising thing about this story is that Alanis Morissette had a $2 million jewelry collection. Alanis does not seem like the type. She seems more like the kind of person whose favorite piece of jewelry is a hand-carved wooden pendant of Gaia hanging from a string of hemp. I’m honestly shocked that the burglars didn’t pop open that safe and find a note that says “The greatest treasure is love.”
Jagged Little Pill came out when I was too young to get the mall by myself, so luckily someone bought me the tape for my birthday. (A tape which I immediately hid under my bed because there was a “fuck” in it and I thought I was going to get in trouble). The only other person at my school who had Jagged Little Pill was this girl who constantly bragged that she stole it from Zellers. That always made me sad, because why would you wanna rip off Alanis Morissette like that? Well ,Christine the 8th Grade Shoplifter wasn’t the only one to do Alanis dirty.