Vin Diesel Dethrones Prince William As The Hottest Bald Man Of 2022

For some reason, this news is making me react like this meme, but maybe I’m just judgmental. Last year, Prince William “won” the prestigious and totally real title of“Sexiest Bald Man” from a bunch of cosmetic surgery specialists. From the top of my head, hotter bald men include Stanley Tucci, Jason Statham, and Johnny Sins. But this year, Vin Diesel has been handed the title of Hottest Baldie.

The New York Post says that a team of cosmetic surgery specialists didn’t conduct this latest highly accurate study on hot baldies. This latest study was done by search engine optimization company, Reboot–which determined the hotness of these baldies via a plethora of factors:

This year’s study looked at a wider number of factors, such as facial Golden Ratio, Twitter sentiment analysis, net worth and height.

We need to talk about these rankings and scores because I’m absolutely LOST. Shemar Moore is less hot than Vin Diesel? In what timeline? Pitbull beat Jason Statham and Dwayne Johnson? And Joe Rogan made the list? I thought they included height!

1. Vin Diesel – 6.46/10
2. Stanley Tucci – 6.33/10
3. Shemar Moore – 6.25/10
4. Pitbull – 6.16/10
5. Prince William – 6.13/10
6. Jason Statham – 5.96/10
7. Bruce Willis – 4.75/10
8. Joe Rogan – 4.37/10
9. Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson – 3.62/10
10. Mike Tyson – 2.50/10

Mr. Clean needs to SUE! Reboot adds that Floyd Mayweather Jr. missed the top 10 and landed in 11th place with a hotness score of 2.29.

Reboot also looked at how many tweets declared how hot a bald man is, and according to the study, 15.69% of the hot bald man tweets they looked at were about Prince William. Other parts of the study involve the shininess of a bald guy’s head, which may have given Vin the leg (or bald head) up over his competition because he scored “a cranial luminance of 563.65 candelas per square meter.” Bitch, what? That means his head “reflects light with 70.46% of the luminous intensity of a standard light bulb.”

Well, this will surely just become another ploy to be used in the battle between Vin Diesel and Dwayne Johnson. Vin has probably already sent over a hundred texts like: “That cranial luminance is nowhere near mine. You could have been in the illuminated FAMILY, but your cranial light is DARK. All love little brother.”

Pic: IPA/INSTARimages.com/Cover Images