A Florida Bride And Her Caterer Were Charged With Lacing Their Wedding Food With Marijuana

Today in FLORIDA, CNN reports that 42-year-old bride Danya Shea Svoboda and her caterer, 31-year-old Joycelyn Montrinice Bryant, have been arrested and charged after allegedly lacing their wedding food with cannabis. Oh, c’mon, what’s the big– wait, without the consent of the wedding guests? And a bunch of them got sick and thought they were going to die? OK, yeah, that’s pretty bad. You win again, McGruff the Crime Dog!

The wedding happened back in February at a community clubhouse in Longwood, just north of Orlando. Nearly 70 guests were in attendance. This includes some minors, although there’s no word if they were affected. Based on Danya and Joycelyn’s arrest warrant affidavits, several guests became ill after eating dinner. A few people called 911, believing they were sick or dying, and soon medics and police showed up.

When they arrived at the wedding, a deputy asked Danya and her husband, Andrew Svoboda, who works for the Department of Justice (!!!), if they’d requested or consented to marijuana in the food. Andrew “stared at (the deputy) with a blank expression for a few moments before stuttering through a ‘no.'” Cops actually released their bodycam footage from the wedding. Everybody’s faces are blurred, except for Danya’s, who smiles like a stoned Cheshire cat and lets the groom do all the talking:

Cops collected glassware, lasagna, and desserts from the wedding, and the lasagna later tested positive for THC. Three guests’ urine tests also tested positive for marijuana. After months of interviews, the suspects were arrested and charged with culpable negligence, delivery of marijuana, and violating Florida’s Anti-Tampering Act. The tampering charge alone carries a max punishment of 30 years in prison. An affidavit reads, via CNN:

Svoboda “agreed to and allowed Joycelyn Montrinice Bryant to lace the food she served … with cannabis unbeknownst to the attendees, many of whom became very ill and required medical attention.”

One guest told investigators that, after she realized she was high, she asked Danya if she’d put marijuana in the olive oil. The bride allegedly “acted excited” and answered “yes.” But when another guest, who had to go to the hospital that night, texted Danya to ask her what was happening, she responded, “Uggg, we have no idea.”

Attendees reported feeling “stoned,” “ill,” and “high.” One woman had to go to the hospital and was so paranoid that she believed her son-in-law was dead and her husband was lying to her. She became “loud and unruly” in the ER and had to be given meds to calm down. The other issue was that a bunch of people drove to the event, and they couldn’t drive home cuz they were too stoned. One lady was so out of it that she couldn’t even figure out how to order an Uber (been there!), so she rode out the high in the parking lot. One of the guests, artist Miranda Cady, did an interview with The Daily Mail.

‘It all hit everyone pretty instantaneously,’ Cady told DailyMail.com. ‘We were all fine and then we were all not.’  Speaking to WFTV, she added, ‘I actually text myself, at one time, a message just in case I didn’t make it through the night.’

The bride has ‘a great energy and vivacious personality,’ Cady said. ‘It was pretty traumatic – emotionally traumatic. I’m the type of person to walk into a room and everyone’s my friend. ‘To be violated this way from someone you like and trust is really hurtful. I didn’t have an option or say. Even if people avoided things like the olive oil, it was still in the bread, in the pasta.’

Miranda says the first clue that something was wrong was after dinner when people weren’t getting up to dance:

‘Everyone was kind of sitting on the sidelines. That was kind of the first red flag. “What’s happening at this wedding?” Around that time, we started looking around and everyone’s giggling. Someone had said, “Are we stoned?” Absolutely, we were out of our minds.’

Even recreational cannabis smokers said the normal-looking meal ‘hit them like a truck.’ ‘You can only imagine the rest of us with no tolerance. We thought we were dying,’ Cady explained.

Miranda went on to explain there were elderly people at the wedding, some of who were on “sensitive medication” that shouldn’t be mixed with the devil’s lettuce. One woman took her mother inside the clubhouse for a glass of water. A kitchen staff member said she didn’t have any water (heh?), but questioned if she was having stomach problems. The woman said yes, and that’s when the staffer replied, “Well, there’s cannabis in the food.” Oh, duh! Of course!

Here’s a news report about the incident:

I don’t know what the fuck the bride or the caterer were thinking, but, next time, let people know if you’re going to lace their food with drugs. That way they can prepare themselves properly; leave the kids and the car at home, trade the high heels in for Birkenstocks, and bring along their Planet Earth DVDs.

Pic: Seminole County Sheriff’s Office