Dlisted’s Hot Slut Of 2021 Is….
We finally have a new reigning Hot Slut of the Year, and yes, it’s another treasured oldie since the finals was a showdown battle of the treasured oldies. After 12 Hot Slut of the Month battles, 3 Hot Slut of the Year semi-finals, and one grand final, we can crown our new HSOTY overlord. It came down to January’s HSOTM, Bernie Sanders’ Mittens, May’s HSOTM, The Beauty School Husband, and November’s HSOTM, Steve Buscemi’s “How Do You Do Fellow Kids?” Costume. I know that the tips of all of your fingers are probably nothing but bones and pieces of skin since you chewed that shit all the way from the dramatic anticipation of it all. But you can use your phalanges to jump past the cut to find out who is 2021’s ultimate Hot Slut!
In third place with 27.94% of your votes is the “How Do You Do Fellow Kids?” drag that Steve Buscemi originally wore on an episode of 30 Rock and then wore again on October 31 as his Halloween costume.
In second place with 30.87% of your votes are the now-iconic mittens that Bernie Sanders wore along with his “Just gonna drop something off at FedEx” ensemble to the inauguration of President Joe Biden. Bernie Sanders’ Mittens will take on the responsibilities of Hot Slut of the Year (read: no responsibilities) if our winning Hot Slut of the Year is unable to do the responsibilities, or sends me a cease and fucking desist (probably that one).
That means our new Hot Slut of the Year is:
THE BEAUTY SCHOOL HUSBAND!
The Beauty School Husband took the crown with 41.19% of your votes! The Beauty School Husband, of course, is the unnamed golden-hearted man who walked into Canada’s Delmar College of Hair and Esthetics in Calgary, Alberta, and asked if they gave lessons because his wife’s vision wasn’t doing so great and she had a hard time keeping up her beauty. So he wanted to learn how to curl her hair and he won hearts by doing so! And now when tricks fall over in the street from being hit by the gorgeous hair glamour of The Beauty School Husband’s wife and they ask her who does her hair, she can say, “I get it done by an award-winning artiste!”
The Beauty School Husband is now part of the HSOTY Hall of Fame that includes Leslie Jordan, Tanqueray, Judge Rosemarie Aquilina, Winona Ryder’s Many Faces, Ana Navarro, Eugene Bostick, STAINS, Spaghetti Cat, Phoebe Price, and Bai Ling.
Thank you to everyone who voted and to everyone who dropped an HSOTD idea into my inbox. And all hail our new HS King!
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