Who Is February’s Hot Slut Of The Month?
2021 must have looked at 2020 like, “You were a slow, torturous bitch and I don’t want to be like you, so I’m going to drop some speed so I’ll be a fast, torturous bitch.” Because we’re nearly half-shaft deep into March, which means that it’s time to vote for who was the Hottest Hot Slut of February! February’s HSOTM battle is down to a Zoom hero, an island that makes my b-hole say, “I want to go to there,” a trash-tackling mama bear, and a First Dog! The first three HSOTM finalists got the most Facebook likes for the month, and the fourth was picked by me. Your choices for February are:
The Kitty Lawyer, the lawyer who made a virtual Texas court hearing 1000000000% times better by getting trapped behind a pussy filter. Sorry, Jacoby & Meyers, my new favorite lawyer is The Kitty Lawyer.
Dick Island, the island peenadise in the Pacific Ocean that is shaped like a cut dick with tight huevos and makes me sing, “Aaaaaalmost paradise!” Actually, that doesn’t make sense since it isn’t almost paradise, it is paradise!
Phyllis Pena, the Texas mother who is this year’s sole Heisman Trophy winner (that’s the trophy for the ball sport where they tackle each other, right?) in my eyes because she tackled a perv who was looking into her daughter’s bedroom window.
Champ Biden, one of the First Dogs (no, not the one who earned a visit from Cesar Milan by nipping at a secret service agent) who got called a rough-looking unkempt junkyardian by some rough-looking unkempt junkyardian pieces of trash. They’re obviously jealous of his beauty!
Voting is below. The winning HSOTM will be crowned next Wednesday, March 17!
Pics: YouTube, Google Earth, YouTube, Instagram