Open Post: Hosted By Kate Beckinsale Trying To Lick Her Crotch Like A Kitty
Celebrities on Instagram during the pandemic. There’s that “desperate” January Jones, Hot Slut of 2020 contender Leslie Jordan, and, of course, Kate Beckinsale. Kate’s content usually concerns her furry friends: two Persian cats named Clive and Willow (whom she married [as in, officiated their wedding, not got hitched to her puss]), and Myf the Pomeranian pooch. In her latest video, Kate wears a cat face mask and sits on the floor of her art gallery bedroom beside Willow, who’s licking her own anus like a proper lady. Inspired, 47-year-old Kate attempts to do the same with her own human parts. And because she’s Kate Beckinsale, she’s doing it all in heels.
Here’s the video:
Now, Kate does a lot of yoga, but she still can’t manage to get her perfectly plumped lips all the way down to her crotchal region. Few humans can. It’s basically just Cirque du Soleil contortionists and some dude on Tinder who messaged me that he could suck his own dick.
I wish Kate the very best of luck on her licking-her-own-bits journey. Hopefully, Willow and Clive are patient mentors and account for the limitations of the stupid human body. It’s not Kate’s fault we homo sapiens were made wrong. Once God created the feline, he basically just phoned the rest of us in!
Pic: Instagram