English grannies everywhere can breathe a big sigh of relief – Queen Elizabeth and her tall husband of 73 years, Prince Philip, both received their first dose of the COVID-19 vaccine over the weekend. The Royals join more than a million other people in the UK who’ve been jabbed by the tiny, life-saving prick. A Buckingham Palace spokesman confirmed the news in a statement that said simply: “The Queen and the Duke of Edinburgh have today received Covid-19 vaccinations.” Usually, the couple’s private health matters are kept under wraps, but apparently, the Queen wanted the public to know “to prevent speculation.”
According to a royal source, THE QUEEN and Phil (I smell a sitcom title!) received the vaccine from their royal household doctor at Windsor Castle, where they’ve been staying during lockdown. British health secretary, Matt Hancock, tweeted:
I'm delighted that Her Majesty the Queen & HRH the Duke of Edinburgh have received their COVID vaccine.
We are defeating this virus jab by jab.https://t.co/uUkfW3rhyB
— Matt Hancock (@MattHancock) January 9, 2021
The Queen is 94 and Prince Philly-Cheese-Steak is exactly five months shy of hitting 100-years-old. At 80+, they’re both in Britain’s second priority group for vaccinations. The first group is care home residents and staff. Well, la dee dah, first groupers, you’re officially more important than the fucking QUEEN.
It’s said that when Prince Charles, Prince William (both of whom got COVID last year), Camilla and Kate get vaccinated, they’ll also make it public. This is to help convince the British public that the vaccine is a safe choice. “Did ya ‘ear? Lizzy got the prick! Blimey, if it’s good enough for that posh ol’ bird, it can’t be that dodgy… stick it in me’ arm, doc. Bob’s your uncle, I’m gonna live forever, I am!”