Afternoon Crumbs

Cardi B is officially freeing the WAP by filing for divorce from Offset and his certified WAP (wandering ass peen) after 3 years of marriage. I was about to brace myself for all of the Tales of the Cooch that Offset’s side tricks were about to tell about how much he’s been cheating on Cardi, but I think this split was caused by something bigger. Like Offset put a baby in a side piece, or worse, Cardi found a Nicki Minaj song on his phone – Just Jared

Stage 10 Dickmatizaion IS Katie Holmes cheesing on the inside while hanging out with her alleged cheating famewhore of a man – Lainey Gossip

The sexy Christmastime duo of Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn are back as Mr. and Mrs. Claus, except Goldie Hawn is giving me grown-up and glowed-up Cindy Lou Who instead of Mrs. Claus – Pajiba

Prince William and Duchess Kate wished Prince Hot Ginge a happy birthday by sharing a picture of all three of them with PHG looking about as happy as an 80s child when mom says, “Let’s go to Sizzler” (yes, I am typing from experience). And how long before The Daily Mail reports that Meghan Markle was actually in that picture but P. Willy and Kate diabolically Magic Erase’d her out of it?! – Celebitchy

Aquaman has made it clear that he’s Team Cyborg in the investigation into Joss Whedon’s alleged asshole ways – Jezebel

Madison “Not A Wisconsin Brewery” Beer is a true selfie professional, because she’s delivering sexyface even though she just got barfed on by the 90s – Popoholic

Pic: Wenn.com