Cardi B Tells Vogue Why She Stayed With Offset
I didn’t realize that there was a blissful void in my brain ever since it purged itself of any remembrances of the drawn out drama of Cardi B’s breakup, and eventual make up with her husband Offset. This time last year we were inundated with what seemed like daily updates on the state of their union. To the point where we were all assuming the whole thing was nothing more than an incredibly unimaginative publicity stunt. Then the dust settled, and I didn’t know the void was there until it was gone. Cardi B is on the cover of Vogue Magazine and in her cover story, she talked about why she decided to stay with Offset, despite his having cheated on her, filling my beautiful void with a rush of reminders of that particular hot mess. Goodbye sweet void, I wish I had taken better care of you.
In case your void is need a nudge out the door, Cardi and Offset, a Migos, were secretly married in September of 2017, before Cardi confirmed she was pregnant with the future baby Kulture. Then last December, Cardi B announced she and Offset were over after proof of an affair with a woman named Summer Bunni surfaced. Soon after, Offset sent cringe waves rippling across this great nation of ours with several public attempts to win her back, the worst of which found him crashing the stage while Cardi was performing at the Rolling Loud music festival. Cardi eventually came around and the two were reunited by January. Cardi now says that when people say “say till death do us part, they not talking about little arguments like if you leave the fridge open,” implying that Offset is not only a serial cheater, but that he’s an electricity wasting nogoodnik to boot. But he’s her serial cheating, electricity wasting nogoodnik.
“When me and my husband got into our issues—you know, he cheated and everything—and I decided to stay with him and work together with him, a lot of people were so mad at me; a lot of women felt disappointed in me,” Cardi explains. “But it’s real-life shit. If you love somebody and you stop being with them, and you’re depressed and social media is telling you not to talk to that person because he cheated, you’re not really happy on the inside until you have the conversation. Then, if you get back with them, it’s like, how could you? You let all of us down. People that be in marriages for years, when they say till death do us part, they not talking about little arguments like if you leave the fridge open. That’s including everything.
However, it’s easy to be with someone who sticks his dick in other people’s open refrigerators when you don’t actually have to live with them. Cardi and Offset don’t even live in the same state.
Cardi and Offset are still figuring out how to settle into family life together. They are rarely in the same city for more than a night or two at a stretch, and while she is shopping for a dream home, they don’t necessarily agree on where it should be. She is most comfortable in or near New York, but Offset has never wanted to live there. “It’s not an easy thing,” he says. “We both have our own households. But you grow. We’re way better now with communication. She’s balancing a lot. She feels like she can’t be absent a lot, and our jobs are crazy.
No wonder they’re still married! This shit makes Gwyneth Paltrow and Brad Falchuck look like determined lovers whose quest to find a surgeon who would preform a rare reverse conjoined twins separation on them failed and so were forced to sew their own hips together using a rusty needle and $200/yard artisan butchers twine. Sadly, Cardi says that while she doesn’t insist on a shared bed (or presumably, shared parenting responsibilities), she does insist on monogamy.
“My thing is, everybody on social media acts like relationships is perfect,” Cardi says. “And that’s crazy to me. I’m around so many women, and there’s always a woman talking about how she loves her man, but her man is not financially stable, or she has a problem with his mom, or the sex is not as good anymore. Everybody has issues. I believe in forgiveness. I prayed on it. Me and my husband, we prayed on it. We had priests come to us. And we just came to an understanding like, bro, it’s really us against the world. He has my back for everything, I have his back for everything, so when you cheat, you’re betraying the person that has your back the most. Why would you do that? We have come to a clear understanding. For me, monogamy is the only way. I’ll beat your ass if you cheat on me.”
Who’s going to tell her? Not it!
Pic: Vogue via Instagram