Jason Derulo Complained After Instagram Removed His Bulge Post

December 4, 2019 / Posted by:

Cats is just around the corner which is the only reason we’re sitting here today discussing Jason Derulo’s recently flaunted dick. Yes, we would all rather be talking about Idris Elba’s dick, but he didn’t recently flaunt it on Instagram. And so we must make do with the dick we were presented. As they say, a dick in the hand is worth two in the bush. Wait, that can’t be right!

A couple of weeks ago, Jason laid an Instagram thirst trap by posting a picture of himself in wet underwear, bragging about the “anaconda” plastered against his thigh. Apparently, Instagram deemed this cat’s dick THFH (too hot for humans), and removed the photo, claiming it violated their community guidelines. Well, Jason isn’t taking that shit curled up in a ball in front of a crackling fireplace! He’s taking this slight all the way to the Instagram #SupremeCourt!

Here’s the original post. This was before he added the CGI fur.

Damn, that is racy! No wonder Instagram balked! Here’s Jason rebuttal.

Cats love eating sardines, but they are very high in salt. And as we all know, salt makes you very, very thirsty. This is perhaps why Jason is so open about the size of his penis. Which is quite large, per his insistence. According to Page Six, Jason “has launched a campaign to ‘bringbackAnaconda’ after claiming Instagram removed a sexy underwear pic that showed off his bulge.” Again, here’s the anaconda in question.

View this post on Instagram

🛀 Bath time for the worlds biggest snake! The anaconda takes home the recorded for the biggest snake having more weight and girth than any other snakes. This is the green anaconda, on average it’s only 15-17ft long. The worlds longest snake is the reticulated python. . Anacondas also love water. In the wild it spends most of its time in the water. So bath time is always appreciated! . Video by: @therealtarzann . Tag us and use #discoversnakes for a chance to get your image featured! . #anaconda #greenanaconda #boa #snek #🐍 #discoversnakes #snakes #snakesofinstagram #exoticpets #exoticanimals #anacondasofinstagram #tarzan #realtarzan #cute #pets #instagood #nature #animallovers #pets_of_instagram #petstagram

A post shared by Discover Snakes 🐍 (@discoversnakes) on

I’m kidding, that’s not Jason, and that guy’s snake is MUCH bigger. All jokes about the size of Jason Derulo’s penis aside, Instagram is wrong for removing the photo because a photo of a bulge in underwear isn’t technically against their policy. (via Page Six):

Instagram says on its website that “we don’t allow nudity on Instagram.” “This includes photos, videos, and some digitally-created content that show sexual intercourse, genitals, and close-ups of fully-nude buttocks. It also includes some photos of female nipples …” Derulo was wearing underwear in the picture.

Instagram can’t just start banning bulges willy-nilly. To say that Jason’s dick print (what 6.5”, fully fluffed? I’m not good at this!) is somehow more obscene than say Chace Crawford’s dick print (7”, fully rubber?) is not only splitting hairs, it’s inching into dangerous territory. It’s not fair, Chace’s trouser trout is still up!

If Instagram has a dedicated team of dick watchers deciding whose prick is permitted, then I’m going to want to see who is in charge. And I’ll bring my resume. I’m very dedicated and a fast learner. My only weakness is I care too much?

Pic: Wenn.com

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