There’s A New “Cats” Trailer Out And It’s Still Very Wrong

November 19, 2019 / Posted by:

Unlike the makers of Sonic The Hedgehog, Cats director Tom Hooper doesn’t give a shit about your mental well being. When the first trailer dropped, I think we were all pretty clear that the cats we were subjected to were demonic, aberrational grotesques, and we wanted them all rounded up, thrown in sacks, and drowned in the River Thames. The makers of Cats had every opportunity to take our notes and make the necessary adjustments. But they did nothing of the sort. The second official trailer is here, and if anything, it’s worse. For one thing, it’s very Taylor Swift nippleless cat breasts forward.

Here’s the trailer. Although I feel like they may have cleaned up some of the facial hair (Dame Judi Dench’s face looks a little less like a chewed up dog toy). This one features Idris Elba’s Macavity sans coat and hat, and his cat body, his knees in particular, are going to give you some spectacularly twisted erotic nightmares.

Come to think of it, his body actually looks a lot like the original Sonic!

Here’s another salient observation from Twitter.

They were smart to ditch Jennifer Hudson‘s sad sack, runny nosed version of Memory in favor of a more upbeat, holiday appropriate score. But I’m left even more confused than ever about how big these fucking cats are supposed to be. I feel like I don’t even know what an actual cat is supposed to look like anymore, and I feel weird about sharing a house with one. Is he trying on with my bras while I’m out? Old Deuteronomy trying to explain the plot was a nice touch though, but I feel like we’re all still a bit incredulous like Stockard Channing in Six Degrees of Separation.

Theater owners should seriously consider hiring trained mental health experts for patrons to consult after the show.

Pic: YouTube

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