In news that shouldn’t be news, Chips Ahoy! used Vanessa Vanjie Mateo in a Mother’s Day message/ad, which makes sense since “cookies” are her thing, but it’s made some conservatives very triggered. Twitter is now filled with people who are getting upset about cookies and drag queens. You know, because getting upset about cookies and drag queens seems like a solid use of one’s time. Let’s take two super fun things and ruin them! I bet these people are fun at parties!
According to LGBTQnation:
Miss Vanjie recorded a Mother’s Day message for Chips Ahoy! because she’s the perfect person to do it: “Get those cookies” is one of her catchphrases, her voice has been compared to Cookie Monster’s, and her drag mother, Alexis Mateo, is pretty well-known herself.
She urged viewers to buy cookies for “your real mama, your drag mama, whichever mama, somebody, whoever taking care of you, whoever you feel or consider your mama.”
“Chewy, the original, everything under the sun,” Vanjie says the clip. “So get those cookies.”
Many bigots had opinions on this non-issue and of course Twitter is where humanity goes to die, so they all went on the devil’s playground to express their faux outrage.
Here’s some highlights:
Fun fact, biological males with make up on doesn’t give them the ability to give birth.
— Mark (@_bodach) May 13, 2019
Ok. So she’s not selling the ability to give birth, she’s selling cookies. Let’s calm it all the way down.
I’m suddenly in the mood for Chick-fil-A.
— AJ Pistone (@realAJ_Macaroni) May 13, 2019
Ok. I get that Chick-fil-A donates to anti-LGBTQ groups, but cookies and chicken are two different things. It’s like saying Arby’s doesn’t fit your political narrative so you’re suddenly in the mood for escargot.
Vanjie had a short but to-the-point response to all the haters.
How disgusting and teaching our young children all what is now what’s wrong with America. Men are Men for GOD’S sake, act like it. Yes I will move over to Famous Amos Chocolate chips cookies, they’re better anyway. I realize this is just a drag queen.
— kookie (@kookie99784324) May 13, 2019
Kookie then had his own response and I’m not totally sure what they’re saying here? “Men are for Men! You’re what’s wrong with America! I’m boycotting! But then I REALIZED THIS IS A DRAG QUEEN?!” HUH?!
Honestly, I do kind of get it. We all go to Chips Ahoy! for moral guidance, parenting advice, and spiritual awakenings. It’s that serious. These Chips Ahoy! haters need to stay vigilant. I mean, Cookie Monster is an actual monster and drag queens have really long nails, so they have a tough fight ahead of them. Godspeed, Chips Ahoy! warriors, you picked a noble and worthy cause to fight for.