Could Justin Bieber Be Canada’s Next Poet Laureate?

April 10, 2019 / Posted by:

Justin Bieber has been bothering us for so long that sometimes I forget he’s practically still a kid. It almost makes me feel bad for making fun of his juvenile naivety. But then he goes and writes a poem that begins with the line “Sunlight falls into the Abyss: Just like i fall into your lips”, and I have to laugh. Yes, he’s only 25 but he’s a married man and I’m a little worried he’s never actually kissed a girl before. Either that, or Hailey Baldwin‘s a soul eating demon whose lips are the mouth of a cavernous hellscape. Although, I suppose both could be true.

Are we ready to usher in the era of Bieber The Bard? Sure, why not. Maybe he’s working out some new material for his post-treatment comeback which will almost certainly be comprised of clichéd love songs and child-like spiritual musings. Justin’s latest foray into verse was dedicated to Hailey and posted on Instagram. According to People:

On Monday, the 25-year-old star captioned an Instagram photo of Baldwin, 22, from a past Maxim photo shoot with a poem he wrote for her, explaining that he wanted to “publicly honor” her and wish her good luck on her shoot for the day.

Here’s the poem Justin probably stayed up all night writing, scribbling draft after draft in his Moleskine journal until he finally got it just right, tore out the final version, sprayed it with a pump of Drew unisex cologne, and touched it to his virgin lips before lighting it ablaze, silently weeping as he watched the charred ashes ascend toward heaven, knowing with sobering certainty that they were destined to alight upon the face of God, a face which he would never see. Good thing he had a back up saved in his notes app!


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Sunlight falls into the Abyss Just like i fall into your lips Waves crash onto the shore My love for you grows more and more Sound of the crickets a true meditation I think about you, Gods greatest creation. As i fall into this blissful state I ponder on how you’re my one true SOULMATE Its getting dark to dark to see A chilling breeze embraces me The smell of camomile fresh from the garden My life is a movie that both of us star in. Speaking of stars I’m starting to see some They light up the sky, reminds me of my freedom How big and how vast our world is around us So grateful for god we were lost but he found us So i write the poem with him always in mind Things all around us Just get better with time. I fall more in love with you every day! You have walked hand and hand with me as I continue to get my emotions, mind, body and soul in tact! You have given me so much strength, support , encouragement and joy. I just wanted to publicly honor you, and remind you that the best is yet to come! Have a great shoot today my love!

A post shared by Justin Bieber (@justinbieber) on

Meanwhile, Hailey’s all:


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A post shared by Hailey Rhode Bieber (@haileybieber) on

But hey, who am I to judge. I have never had a man write me a love poem. I once had a boyfriend who liked to draw little cartoon dicks that spooged tiny hearts which felt very romantic at the time. But looking back at it now, I think I may have given him more credit than was due.


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