All The Fashion Foolery From The MTV EMAs

November 13, 2017 / Posted by:

Last night the MTV European Music Awards AKA “The Who Dats” were held at Wembley Arena in London. While you might not recognize most of the names and faces of the attendees in the gallery below, what they lack in universal recognition they more than make up for in European je Ne sais quoi with their looks (see: Petite Meller, above). However, some familiar names creamed their way to the top of the list of notable looks that make make no damn sense in any language.


I am really torn with Rita Ora’s choice here. My gut tells me to hate it but my sense of play is kind of in love. I want to be mad but it’s actually a pretty well thought out look. It’s impractical, silly and audacious. I am surprised that Rita has enough of a sense of irony to pull it off. I watched Rita hosting Boy Band this summer and if you’ve seen her on ANTM you’d be excused if you sincerely thought she had some sort of brain injury. Yet here she is, pulling a baller move by showing up at an awards show in a terrycloth bathrobe, swimming in diamonds. So yeah, Rita gets to pass go but instead of collecting $200 she has to pay $200 to Marilyn Monroe’s estate.


Demi Lovato is another celebrity at the EMAs you might recognize. Too bad Demi Moore stole her invitation and has come in her stead. Demi’s steady diet of the foreskin of young men is paying off because I honestly believe this is Demi the senior not Demi the junior. Prove me wrong.


I know what you guys are really wanting to know. WAS JARED LETO THERE?! Well, cool your jets because duh, Jared was there. DID HE LOOK LIKE A CLOWN is your next question, I know. Simple answer: yes. Longer answer: It’s complicated. Jared looks like the Big Bad Wolf who has snuck into your Grandmother’s house, eaten her and stolen a blouse and her best walking shoes before making a getaway on his huffy bike. The jacket and oversized flower are from his own collection which will be available at all participating Lane Bryant stores in the Spring.


Who’s joining me for sneaker nightmares tonight? I’m 100% sure those are fresh out the box kicks and Jared spent 40 minutes in his room artfully scuffing them up while his band mates waited for him in the car.

Please enjoy the gallery of European sophistication below:


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