If your name is Rachel or Rachael or Roy or even Ray and you’ve got an Instagram page, you better look for a RAID emoji real quick. Because the eyes of the Beyhive are filled with so much blind rage that they don’t even know who they’re attacking anymore.
As everyone knows by now, in Beyonce’s song Sorry from her new album Lemonade, she spits out the lyric, “He better call Becky with the good hair,” when singing about her man’s side ho. One of Jay-Z’s rumored side trick Rachel Roy summoned the wrath of the Beyhive when she posted a picture of her on Instagram with the caption, “Good hair don’t care, but we will take good lighting, for selfies, or self-truths, always.” Because nothing puts fear into a trick like covering their Instagram page with cutesy lemon and bee emojis, the Beyhive covered her page with cutesy lemon and bee emojis, so she set it to private. She also tweeted out a note where she pretty much denied riding on Jay-Z’s rogue dick and said that she won’t take any kind of bullying. Rachel Roy was supposed to speak at a seminar in NYC tonight, but she canceled due to a “personal emergency.” So either one of the BumbleBeys switched out Rachel’s leave-in conditioner with Nair and she’s bald now, or she’s not really in the mood to dodge flying acid-dipped lemons after she leaves her house.
The Beyhive swarming around Rachel Roy could’ve been much worse, though, because some of the BumbleBeys were too busy swarming around Rachael Ray. A chunk of the Beyhive were so riled up that they didn’t do a little thing called “reading.” They mistook Rachael Ray for Rachel Roy. They thought Rachael Ray had messed with their queen by making a 30-minute meal out of EVOO lube, her biscuit and Jay-Z’s crotch sausage. They did this to Rachael’s Instagram:
They also posted comments like, “We’re coming for you girl you slept with Jay-Z!!!” and “stealing Bey’s lemons, hoe?” Meanwhile, Jay-Z is cackling into the air while counting all the money Tidal brought in thanks to the album his wife made about his alleged cheating ways.
And DAMN! The Beyhive sometimes acts like Beyonce fucks them good, pays their bills, makes their favorite meal from scratch and gives them a foot massage from heaven every single day.
Rachael Ray hasn’t directly responded to the accidental Beyhive attack, but whoever runs her Instagram page did post a picture of her lemonade. Since a part of me is as petty as the Beyhive (“And by ‘part’ you mean ‘all,’ right?” – you), I sort of wish that Rachael posted the recipe for her charred bumblebee and burnt honey sandwich.
Here’s Rachael “Not Rachel Roy” Ray at an event for Cameron Diaz’s book in NYC a few weeks ago: