Putting The Banal In Balmain

“So I guess Riccardo had pineapple for lunch,” said Kim Kartrashian to Kanye West after smelling his breath while taking that picture.

Speaking of Riccardo Tisci, he’s probably doing the open-mouth silent cry of pain while slowly sliding down a wall, because his boo Kanye West has cheated on Givenchy with that fashion home-wrecking slut whore tramp hussy skank Balmain. Balmain let it be known today that they’re targeting the overused ass dildo demographic by making Kimye the face of their Spring 2015 menswear campaign. They look about as alive as a dried dingle clinging to a used piece of toilet paper discarded in the stall trash can of a rest stop bathroom. So what I’m saying is that they look more alive than usual.

On a positive note, it was very brave of Kummy Kakes to give us a glimpse of a fame whore succubus ritual. In the picture above, Kim is showing us the moment when a Kartrashian unlocks her jaws and swallows her victim whole before spitting out his soulless carcass. Yeah, so that’s why that picture seems so familiar to Bruce Jenner.

There’s three more pictures after the cut if you’ve got enough strength in your eye-rolling muscle.

Phoebe Price’s title as the pose game queen is threatened, because look at their poses. They are full of so much life! Kim looks like a hollow, factory-defected mannequin in a coma and Kanye looks like a dejected 6-year-old who has been forced to get the haircut he doesn’t want. Kanye looks as miserable as you are while looking at these pics.

I don’t know what’s going on with her tits area. When Kim lies on her back, all the plastic in her moves around and does weird things to her body.

If you tried to open up Photoshop today and kept getting an error, blame these pics. All of the Photoshop was used on Kim’s body in this campaign. Photoshop needs time to re-charge. Try again next month.