Birthday Sluts

October 1, 2016 / Posted by:

Julie Andrews (81)
Brie Larson (27)
Jurnee Smollett-Bell (30)
Porcelain Black (31)
Isis King (31)
Rupert Friend (35)
Sarah Drew (36)
Sherri Saum (42)
Tom Hooper (44)
Heather Hunter (47)
Zach Galifianakis (47)
Cindy Margolis (51)
Christopher Titus (52)
Mark McGwire (53)
Esai Morales (54)
Randy Quaid (66)
Stephen Collins (69)
Stella Stevens (78)
Jimmy Carter (92)

Pic: 20th Century Fox

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Night Crumbs

September 30, 2016 / Posted by:

Mandy Moore went to some event looking like the 80s humped her hair hard and yes, it’s a mess, but I will love it if she used Clairol Benders to create it. Because Clairol Benders really need to make a giant comeback. It’s time and everyone’s been waiting. Just ask my mom, I’m sure she’s been waiting for the moment when she gets to pull out her old Clairol Benders from the back of her bathroom cabinet   – Lainey Gossip 

Rita Ora modeled in her chonies for Vanity Fair and I think she’s trying to give us sexy face, but she looks more like she’s trying really hard to hold in a queef that doesn’t want to be held in – Drunken Stepfather

It’s really disturbing that Katie Price doesn’t have Harvey Price’s birthdate tattooed onto the inside of her eyelids so she’ll never forget! – Celebitchy

There’s now a baby in the world who gets to call Kim Richardsgrandma” – Reality Tea 

Ben Affleck is totally jacking off while Skyping with Tom BradyThe Superficial 

This is exactly what I want to do every time my phone crashes while trying to install the newest iOS – Towleroad

I actually like this Bella Hadid photo shoot and only because it looks like pictures found in the profile of a Russian dating site – Hollywood Tuna

Francesca Eastwood dyed her hair black and now looks like a come-to-life goth anime character – Popoholic

I see that St. Angie Jolie wants another OSCUH – Just Jared 

Zayn Malik got rid of his beard – Boy Culture

Panty Creamer of the Day: Chris Hemsworth busting out some power bottom moves – Popsugar

Pic: Getty

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This Is Why I Cry Today: The CW Is Rebooting “Dynasty”

September 30, 2016 / Posted by:

Here’s my short response to this news: NOOOOOOOooooooooooOOOOOOOO!

There should be an American law stating that Dynasty is an important historical artifact and is not allowed to be fucked with in any way. But since the world is a shit place, that is not a law that exists, so The CW is planning to take Dynasty, stomp on it until its dust and then shit on it. I would sell my family if TNT gave Dynasty the Dallas treatment by doing a sequel starring some of the originals, but The CW is doing a complete re-telling. Josh Schwartz and Stephanie Savage, who are responsible for Gossip Girl, are behind this travesty. 2016 has really gone and done it this time.

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Open Post: Hosted By Susan Sarandon In Bette Davis Drag

September 30, 2016 / Posted by:

Finally! Ever since those pictures came out of Jessica Lange’s Shirley MacLaine in My Geisha-looking ass as Joan Crawford, I’ve been waiting and waiting for the paparazzi to come through with pictures of Susan Sarandon as Bette Davis and today they did. Jessica and Susan shot scenes in Los Angeles yesterday for Feud, Ryan Murphy’s newest FX anthology series about the bitch battle royale that Joan and Bette got into while shooting Whatever Happened To Baby Jane? The paps caught Susan walking from her trailer to the set as an assistant with an umbrella protected her immaculate Bette Davis brows from melting in the sun.

I don’t know the context for that AliExpress wig, but I do know that Bette Davis’ hair didn’t look like that in the early 1960s. Like Jessica as Joan, I don’t really see Bette Davis in those pictures. But I do see my abuelita as Rizzo in a senior center production of Grease. But who cares if Jessica as Joan looks more like a white woman as an Asian woman and Susan as Bette looks more like a Latina as Rizzo, I’m still going to watch this like it’s a porn starring Idris Elba and Alexander Skarsgard.

Pics: Wenn.com

Nicole Kidman Talks About Becoming Mrs. Tom Cruise At 23

September 30, 2016 / Posted by:

I was a kid when Nicole Kidman got married to Tom Cruise in 1990. My first real memory of them was when they talked to Apu from the cover of an Entertainment Weekly on The Simpsons. They always seemed like full-grown adults to me. But recently Nicole once again reminded me that she was pretty young when she signed her 10-year commitment contract. Not that she regrets it. Well, at least the getting married young part. I’m going to guess that if anything would make Nicole wish for a do-over, it’s probably the being married to a Scientologist part.

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Blac Chyna Pulled A Rob Kartrashian Last Night

September 30, 2016 / Posted by:

And no, I don’t mean that Blac Chyna texted Rob’s krush Kim Kartrashian to ask her what she’s wearing right now.

Last night, Blac Chyna did something that totally wasn’t planned out by the producers of her and Rob Kartrashian’s E! shit show. Angela Kartrashian took a page out of Rob’s “How To Get Attention For Your Thirsty Ass With One Simple Tweet” by tweeting his number to her thousands of followers. I’d like to think that after Blac twatted that out, she, Rob and the producers all sat around waiting for his phone to blow up, but all they got were the sound of crickets and one text from the local Domino’s confirming that his nightly standing order is on its way.

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