Sir Isaac Lime!
Even though he works a pair of Triscuit-shaped glasses and a jagged biscotti stache like no other lime green otter ever has, Sir Isaac Lime was never my favorite Otter Pop (that’s Alexander the Grape) or even my second favorite (that’s Strawberry Short Kook), but I am still happy that his life was spared thanks to a group of determined activists!
Kirk Douglas (100)
McKayla Maroney (21)
Simon Helberg (36)
Jesse Metcalfe (38)
Imogen Heap (39)
Tré Cool (44)
Kara DioGuardi (46)
Jakob Dylan (47)
Lori Greiner (47)
Kurt Angle (48)
Kirsten Gillibrand (50)
Felicity Huffman (54)
Mario Cantone (57)
Donny Osmond (59)
John Malkovich (63)
Joan Armatrading (66)
Michael Nouri (71)
Dick Butkus (74)
Beau Bridges (75)
Dame Judi Dench (82)
Buck Henry (86)
Pic: Fine Art America
Emma Stone and Ryan Gosling promoted their new movie La La Land by putting their hands in cement at the TCL Chinese Theatre yesterday. Ryan Gosling is either making that face because being in that position is causing him to want to cut one and he’s trying to keep it in. Or he’s trying to block out the thoughts of what his sucio scat-loving fans are going to do with these pictures in Photoshop – Lainey Gossip
Here’s Kate Moss getting high – Drunken Stepfather
Jealousy is the emotion that Dane Cook feels while looking at Nick Cannon serving up “Mr. DeMille, I’m ready for my close-up” glamour – Celebitchy
Okay, what kind of blackmail material does Andy Cohen have on John Legend? – Reality Tea
Emily RideAJetSki went back to her video ho roots – The Superficial
Megan Mullally is either playing with everyone’s emotions or she announced that NBC will soon announce that Will & Grace is coming back for 10 episodes – Towleroad
Hilary Duff wore those Gucci loafers that have pubes – Popoholic
My ears just cringed and it was from the southern accent that Christina Ricci does as Zelda Fitzgerald – Pajiba
Move along “All I Want For Christmas Is You,” because Khia is here with the new official Christmas anthem! – OMG Blog
Sarah Hyland and her seven-layer eyebrow situation are in Marie Claire – Hollywood Tuna
Tuc Watkins (aka David Vickers from One Life to Live) is back! – Boy Culture
Suicide Squad got an Honest Trailer – IDLYITW
The CW sent Reign to the guillotine – SOW
TayLourd made their official photo-op debut on the stroll and the only thing I can think about are those cheese balls – Just Jared
Duh. – Popsugar
Donald Trump made Oklahoma attorney general Scott Pruitt, who’s a climate change denier, the head of the Environmental Protection Agency, so yeah, he probably still believes that those pictures of malnourished polar bears are just Chinese actors in malnourished polar bear costumes posing on a studio set in China. But because Jabba the Trump is a star fucker who also really loves getting his dirt star kissed by celebrities, he met with the savior to the environment Leonardo DiCaprio at Trump Tower yesterday. Yes, our future overlord met with Luke from Growing Pains (his greatest role, honestly) about climate change, and he’s also staying on as the executive producer of the Celebrity Apprentice. That confirms it. When the clock struck 12:01 on January 1, 2016, we were also sucked into to an alternate universe.
Madonna’s Carpool Karaoke segment aired last night as promised on The Late Late Show with James Corden. Thanks to a promo clip, we already knew she was going to attempt to twerk in James Corden’s karaoke room on wheels while cruising around NYC.
Madonna and James sang Madonna classics like Vogue, Papa Don’t Preach, Express Yourself, and and they also sang Bitch I’m Madonna. James also got deep and asked her if she’d get married again (she just wants someone who understands her sense of humor) and grilled her about her friendship with Michael Jackson. Here’s what we learn about Madonna and MJ: she once got Michael loose with a glass of chardonnay and kissed him. She doesn’t elaborate on what happened after that kiss. Thank you Madonna! That was very kind of you.
At least she stayed in her seat somewhat. It would be too dangerous if she was allowed to move around the cabin. Nobody wants to watch A Very Special Carpool Karaoke that opens with Madge pretending to jerk off the parking break while singing Who’s That Girl and ends with a terrified James Corden squealing “Oi oi oi stop trying to hump the steering wheel!”
It’s a well-known fact that Madonna doesn’t care for NYC’s laws, and last night’s carpool karaoke proved that. Twerking, crotch-flexing, and hanging her business out of the car window? That’s two blatant traffic infractions right there: riding without a seat belt and distracting other drivers with your horny mom moves.
Yeah, get out of there, shirt! Go find some self-conscious shark with manboobs who needs you. Zac Efron and his ripped Wrestling Champions body don’t need you.
Based on the pictures taken on the Baywatch movie set last March, it looked like Zac would spend the entire movie shirtless. The trailer, which was released today, has determined that was a lie. Zac wears a shirt, he wears a leather jacket. The Rock, on the other hand, is only in a couple shirts. That might not be intentional. Paramount clearly blew all their budget on the amazing green screen effects at the 0:20 and 1:37 marks, which means they probably didn’t have a whole lot of money left over for The Rock’s custom-made shirts in size-PM (python arms). Regardless of the shirt situation, this trailer makes Baywatch the movie look almost as cheesy as Baywatch: Hawaiian Wedding, ergo I’m kind of into it.
The Rock plays Mitch Buchannon, one of Leonardo DiCaprio’s former girlfriends (Kelly Rohrbach) plays a less silicone-y CJ Parker, Priyanka Chopra makes a quick 0.6-second appearance as someone who never hit the gym once during filming. And Zac plays a douchey gold medal-winning brah swimmer with Sun-In streaks who loves to party. Technically he plays Matt Brody, but that’s not exactly the Matt Brody I remember from the Baywatch TV series. Hmmm…I wonder who this new Matt Brody could be based on? I guess we’ll only know for sure if Paramount releases a second trailer showing The Rock catching Zac’s character pissing on the walls of the lifeguard station bathroom.