Open Post: Hosted By The Teen Who Ate A Hot Pepper Every Time Ariana Grande Said “Um”

July 22, 2017 / Posted by:

Kids CAN do astonishing things! The AV Club has introduced the world to this brave and probably seriously injured teenager who tortured himself to help Ariana Grande with her public speaking. He made a video in which he ate a hot pepper every time Ariana said “um” in an award acceptance speech. This is amusing at first, but then it veers into torture and (spoiler alert) ends with gagging. So, is it possible to completely burn out your taste buds so they’ll never come back? Does this child have the ability to taste anymore?

It was no joke. The kid wrote in the video caption:

“Words can’t not [sic] describe the amount of pain I experienced after turning the camera off.”

Hopefully Ariana sees this video and realizes the amount of pain the verbalization of her thought process is causing. Watch the poor boy, below.

Pic: YouTube

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Do Whoopi And Gina Owe Somebody Money?

July 22, 2017 / Posted by:

All of you supposedly serious auteurs can just cancel your plans for Cannes next year. The next film to win the Palme de’Or is here! Charlie Sheen, Gina Gershon, and Whoopi Goldberg (?!?) are starring in the most tasteful and necessary film experience in decades. Picture it. Total strangers trapped in a high-rise elevator must work together to survive before the cable snaps! It’s a pulse-pounding race against time! Why is the cable snapping? Because a plane just hit the North Tower! Yes, somebody thought it was a good idea to make a cheesy, predictable thriller about 9/11. Is anyone involved in this film ALLOWED in NYC anymore?

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John Heard Passed Away

July 22, 2017 / Posted by:

Kevin McCallister’s dad from Home Alone died. TMZ says actor John Heard‘s body was found in a hotel in Palo Alto, CA yesterday by maid services, according to “family sources.” He was 72. For those of you in my age range, join me in accepting that everything you know, love, and clung to as a child for comfort and warmth is pretty much gone. What’s left? Who’s left? Betty White? Luckily, she sold her soul to Satan for longevity and good fortune, so she’s safe. Someone bubble-wrap E.T. before they reboot it. Continue reading

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Birthday Sluts

July 22, 2017 / Posted by:

Albert Brooks (70)
Selena Gomez (25)
Keegan Allen (28)
Sharni Vinson (34)
A.J. Cook (39)
Franka Potente (43)
Jaime Camil (44)
Rufus Wainwright (44)
James Arnold Taylor (48)
Rhys Ifans (50)
Irene Bedard (50)
David Spade (53)
John Leguizamo (53)
Joanna Going (54)
Rob Estes (54)
Keith Sweat (56)
Willem Dafoe (62)
Alan Menken (68)
Don Henley (70)
Danny Glover (71)
George Clinton (76)
Alex Trebek (77)
Terence Stamp (79)
Louise Fletcher (83)

Pic: NBC

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