Frank Ocean’s new album Blonde probably would have gotten at least one Grammy nomination, but now he’s guaranteed a grand total of zero nominations, because his team missed the deadline to submit it. Billboard says that Frank Ocean’s people didn’t screw up. They knew about the Grammy nominations deadline and said “fuck it” to submitting Blonde and his visual album Endless. Either Frank Ocean thinks the Grammys hold about as much importance as the shit churning in a bull’s bowels, or he doesn’t want to bruise his palms from clapping every time Adele beats him since she’s probably going to win everything. It seems like Frank Ocean doesn’t give one damn about getting a Grammy nomination, but Kanye West really cares about Frank Ocean getting a Grammy nomination.
Justin Bieber has made it clear many, many times that his fans don’t exactly rank that high on the list of things he likes. America’s obnoxious Canadian nephew recently let his fans know how much he hates them by hissing at them on the street and telling them to shut their holes during a Purpose tour stop in Birmingham in England last week. Clearly Justin’s message of silence didn’t reach his fans like he was hoping it would, because he threw another mid-concert tantrum over their screams.
It’s official. “2016” is now the first definition for the word “WORST” in every dictionary. It has taken another one and this one hurts like a shank to the soul, and it took my eyes a long second to fully take in the words “Pete Burns has died suddenly.” But sadly for all of us, this planet is not a lot less interesting and glamorous, because Pete Burns died of a heart attack yesterday. Pete was only 57. Pete’s management released this statement about his death on Twitter:
Pete Burns became a sparkling star of rhinestone-encrusted perfection when his band Dead or Alive got a #1 worldwide hit You Spin Me Round in 1985. (Yes, we should all brace ourselves for the inevitable “Dead or Alive” jokes. Pete Burns isn’t even buried yet and I’m sure he’s already practicing on spinning round in his grave.) Dead or Alive released several albums up until 2000. In 2006, Pete Burns found a new career as a reality show darling when he entertained the masses on Celebrity Big Brother.
Every plastic surgeon’s office should pour a bag of fillers in Pete’s honor today. Because Pete was very open about how his face was stretched and rotated dozens of times by a plastic surgeon. Pete is the original Kylie Jenner (Pete’s ghost needs to slap me for mentioning her name), because he confessed that he plumped up his lips so many times that they were in danger of getting amputated. The Sun says that that last month, Pete Burns talked about his surgeries on the show Celebrity Botched Up Bodies and said this:
“The number of surgeries I’ve had is probably 300. I hope when I’m 80 and I get to heaven God doesn’t recognise me.”
Pete could have gotten 300 more surgeries and God would still recognize him since he will always be unmistakable.
Rest in peace, Pete Burns. Thank you for the glamour.
Last we heard, Kate and Michael lost custody of their boys, 3-year-old Landon and 1-year-old Logan, and his mom Marilyn Lohan had flown to Florida and became their temporary guardian. According to TMZ, Kate got into some Lohan-level messiness on Saturday while dropping her sons off at Michael’s house in Florida. After Kate dropped the boys at their daddy’s house in Florida, Kate dropped herself off at a neighbor’s house for a drink. Sources say that when Kate left said neighbor’s house, she was as drunk as Dina Lohan after finding a Parent Trap residual check that fell behind the couch. Kate was about to get in her car and drive home, but Michael grabbed her keys and refused to let her drive. I’m sure you can already see where this is going.
“You must be this wide to ride the attraction” – Richbitch
The ring around Uranus. – pamorama_j
Rebeca Arthur’s IMDB page tells me that she hasn’t done any acting stuff since 2000, and that surprised me for a second, because I thought she had been regularly working since the 1980s. Rebeca Arthur, seen above giving you “humanized Eleanor from The Chipettes” in a glamour shot from the 80s, is one of those actresses from who I think I see everywhere. “Wait, is that Balki’s wife playing Party Guest #3 in this episode of Modern Family?” “Wait, is that Balki’s wife playing Linda Lovelace in this movie? Oh no, that’s just Amanda Seyfried.”
Rebeca popped up in movies (like Scrooged and Get Shorty) and TV shows (like television masterpiece The Charmings) through the 80s and 90s, but of course, she’s best known for playing Mary Anne, Balki’s hot bimbo flight attendant girlfriend (and later wife and mother of his baby) on Perfect Strangers for 6 seasons. Mary Anne and Balki’s love bloomed in the second season, and at the end of Perfect Strangers’ final season, she gave birth to a baby boy they named Robespierre-Boinki. Knowing that Balki and Mary Anne’s baby is not a real person, and therefore a human with the fucked-up name of Robespierre-Boinki Bartokomous doesn’t exist in real-life, has made this already-depressing Monday more depressing.
Rebeca Arthur’s name came up this weekend, because my friend and I were bored and fantasy casted our fantasy Lifetime movie about the Trump chicks on IM. My friend said that Balki’s wife should play Tiffany Trump. Rebeca Arthur is about 30 years older than Tiffany Trump, but I didn’t argue with him, because Balki’s wife could do it and she definitely needs a comeback!