My bad, you guys. I went to see A Quiet Place in the theater and now because of me they are making a sequel. My $11 must have pushed it over the edge of profitability. According to The Hollywood Reporter, beardy Jim from The Office shushing people has turned out to be a lot of people’s kink. The movie starring and directed by John Krasinski only cost $17 million dollars to make (with an assist from John’s wife Emily Blunt) and it’s still pulling in big numbers, “meaning it will be hugely profitable”. And of course, that’s all that really matters!
The monkey who let a mean tourist have it after the mean tourist decided to fuck with it!
You know that saying, “If you play with fire, you get burned?” It just got a fresh 2018 reboot. The new saying is, “If you play with a monkey, you end up with a busted face covered with blood and regrets.” Metro UK posted a video from the Xitian Temple in Dehua County in the East China province of Fujian where a tourist decides it’ll be really hilarious to abuse a monkey by pushing it off a railing. This tourist is obviously brand new, because he didn’t know that monkeys are never the one, and if you screw with them, they’ll ruin you, your family, your family’s family and your entire family tree. They’re not the one today, tomorrow or next century.
As you’ll see in the video, the dumbass pushes the monkey over, and everyone laughs, but their laughs directed at the monkey turn to laughs directed at the stupid human. Because the monkey rises like a Phoenix and jumps over the railing and comes after the dumb fuck who messed with it. The monkey chases the dude into the temple, and soon after a monkey friend joins in on the act of revenge. They attack the dude and scratch his face up. Metro UK has pictures of the man’s face covered with karma handed down by a monkey who never plays.
This is how Revenge of Planet of the Apes starts. And if that monkey had a purse, I’d gladly hold it for it for them. Whoop that trick, monkey!
Carol Burnett (85)
Luke Bracey (29)
Jemima Kirke (33)
Ms. Dynamite (37)
Jordana Brewster (38)
Channing Tatum (38)
Stana Katic (40)
Pablo Schreiber (40)
Fredrik Eklund (41)
Tom Welling (41)
Mckenzie Westmore (41)
Joey Joridson (43)
Shondrella Avery (47)
Jacqueline Laurita (48)
Melania Trump (48)
Marianne Jean-Baptiste (51)
Kevin James (53)
Jet Li (55)
Michael Damian (56)
Debra Wilson (56)
Joan Chen (57)
Roger Taylor (58)
Giancarlo Esposito (60)
Giorgio Moroder (78)
Duane Eddy (80)
I.M. Pei (101)
As Pimp Mama Kris leaks one of her koven member’s sex tapes to distract from this newest mess, Kim Kartrashian has defended her Trump tramp of a husband Kanye West by saying that he doesn’t have a mental health issue, never said he agrees with Trump’s politics, is just a free thinker, and is now “out” of the sunken place. Believe it or not, the “sunken place” she’s talking about isn’t when he’s suffocating between her beach ball ass cheeks while tossing her salad. But I don’t know, having your tongue all the way Trump’s butt tunnel seems like a pretty sunken ass place to be – Just Jared
And why do I have a feeling that Kanye West’s next album is going to be called “Very Cool!” – Towleroad
In non-Kanye news, here’s Jason Momoa wearing way too many clothes – Lainey Gossip
If you didn’t wake up on your neighbor’s lawn after prom, you didn’t do prom right – Celebitchy
Sonja Morgan looks like she’s about to welcome me to her bordello and show me her stable of available hos – Reality Tea
Wait, Hailey Baldwin is in these pics? All I see a towering vision of fishnet elegance – Drunken Stepfather
Here’s the former Queen of Coachella disappointing me so by looking somewhat normal – Popoholic
Okay, but where can I see this full Sean Cody episode? – OMG Blog
Just call her Hulkney – Hollywood Tuna
I’m so glad to see that Miss Vanjie is doing a capsule collection with Cartier, which is where I’m guessing RuPaul got that stunning necklace – Queerty
Kourtney Kardashian is sometimes known as the Kardashian-Jenner sister who doesn’t do gluten/sugar/dairy/chemicals and the original partner of a messy baby daddy (that honor goes to Kim now). But she’s also sometimes billed as the one who went to college, aka the “smart” one.
Well, Kourtney tried to prove she’s more than at least semi-awake yesterday when she went to Capitol Hill in DC to speak about safe ingredients in skincare and cosmetics. Bad news for her, there was a snag when the topic of Kylie Cosmetics came up.
Even with sunglasses on, Team Cosby member Damon Wayans is emoting a vibe that tells me he would rather be teabagging Pinhead than posing next to that Boardwalk Empire-looking ass extra. There’s a good reason for that, because Damon hates him!
Deadline says that what’s been happening behind the cameras on the set of Fox’s Lethal Weapon TV show is much more interesting than what happens in front of them. Lethal Weapon is in its second season, and it does well for Fox, so a third season renewal was expected. But apparently, that’s up in the air thanks to one of the show’s two leads, Clayne Crawford, acting like a regular Thomas Gibson (but without the name recognition. Although, Thomas Gibson’s name also gives me a case of the Whos).