Nickelback Is Unamused

December 3, 2016 / Posted by:

Canada’s shame Nickelback has had the misfortune of being unofficially known by humanity as “The Worst Band In The World” for some time now. A savvy group of musicians who appreciated irony would just laugh and go with it, perhaps using it to keep afloat on our vast ocean of pop culture. You would think any band whose frontman would marry Avril Lavigne would have a good sense of humor! But nope. Nickelback didn’t think it was “funny ha-ha” this week when the Kensington, Prince Edward Island cops threatened to punish drunk drivers by forcing them to listen to their music.

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Kanye West And Kim Kardashian Aren’t Living Together Right Now

December 3, 2016 / Posted by:

Despite her reportedly constant and nurse-like presence at his bedside during his hospitalization for mental health issues, People is reporting that marrieds Kanye West and Kim Kardashian are living separately since he left the hospital. The word is that Kim is allegedly feeling “overwhelmed” and has concerns about Kanye’s relationship with their two children.

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Hot Sluts Of The Day!

December 3, 2016 / Posted by:

Charles & Eddie!

I’ll wait here as your eyes dive into that luscious fall of gorgeous stallion hair that is delicately flowing off of Eddie Chacon’s head like a majestic waterfall on the highest peaks in heaven. I’ve already done that like 45 times today.

Nobody asks the question, “Would I lie to you?”, like the Eurythmics do, but Charles & Eddie came really close to outdoing them in 1992 when they released the song that lived deep inside my ears for years. Charles & Eddie were made up of Charles Pettigrew and Eddie Chacon, and they were a soul music duo who supposedly met on the subway in NYC and gave the world the early-90s hit Would I Lie To You? That song played absolutely everywhere.

It played in the car on the way to the doctor who you’d go to see to treat you for the ear worm condition called: CantGetThatWouldILieToYouSongOutOfMyHead-itis. It played in the elevator in your doctor’s building, it played in your doctor’s waiting room and the doctor would hum it while examining you. And then it’d also play in the drugstore as you waited to pick up the meds the doctor prescribed to help you get that song out of your head. It was everywhere and I don’t even know if I ever truly liked it, but I heard it so much that I grew to love it.

Charles & Eddie made two albums together before going off to do their own thing in the mid-90s. Charles died of that cunt cancer in 2001. Eddie continues to make music. But this 90s masterpiece will forever be their legacy:

And don’t even bring up the fact that EDM butcherer David Guetta destroyed this ’92 jewel. Just forget about that and instead get lost in those Simple Red vocals and that Structure clothing store glamour.

Pic: Capitol Records

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Birthday Sluts

December 3, 2016 / Posted by:

Trina (38)
Jake T. Austin (22)
Michael Angarano (29)
Amanda Seyfried (31)
Dascha Polanco (34)
Brian Bonsall (35)
Louise Roe (35)
Anna Chlumsky (36)
Jenna Dewan (36)
Daniel Bedingfield (37)
Sean Parker (37)
Mickey Avalon (41)
Trina Braxton (42)
Holly Marie Combs (43)
Keegan Connor Tracy (45)
Brendan Fraser (48)
Montell Jordan (48)
Katarina Witt (51)
Steve Harris (51)
Daryl Hannah (56)
Julianne Moore (56)
Mickey Thomas (67)
Ozzy Osbourne (68)
Jean-Luc Godard (86)

Pic: Instagram

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Night Crumbs

December 2, 2016 / Posted by:

Chris Pratt and Jennifer Lawrence are still whoring out that space movie and she looks absolutely thrilled about it. But she should be smiling about her hairstylist pulling one of Brit Brit Spears’ old busted swamp weaves out of the gutter and gluing it to her head. Trick’s got an important American artifact on her head!  – Lainey Gossip 

In “everyone’s got bills to pay” news, Evelyn Lozada is going back to Basketball Wives L.A.Reality Tea 

GOT IT: Christie Brinkley still does – Drunken Stepfather

The media seems to be whistling into the air and playing with their thumbs whenever the sexual harassment allegations against Casey Affleck come up – Celebitchy

Bradley Cooper’s future baby mother did some kind of soft-core porn version of the pottery scene from Ghost. I was kind of disappointed that she didn’t go all the way by making a ceramic dildo – The Superficial 

EVERYONE IN MANDY MOORE’S FAMILY IS GAY! Okay, just her mom and two brothers – Towleroad

A dog and a fringed purse: a love story – The Hollywood Tuna

Natalie Portman is really, really pregnant – Popoholic

Zack Morris took a machete and a razor to the pussy bush on his face – SOW

Madge is bringing her sad, slutty, drunk clown act to Miami tonight – Boy Culture

Awkward IS Kristen Stewart trying to bring the sex while grinding on a pole at a gas station – Pajiba

Well, if anybody would know about fake asses, it’s the Bratz doll version of Kim KartrashianJust Jared

Fuck you, pixels! – Popsugar

Pic: Getty

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I See That Mila Kunis And Ashton Kutcher Are Major Fans Of “All My Children” And “Teen Mom”

December 2, 2016 / Posted by:

The second human that Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher are now in charge of came into the world on Wednesday and ever since then, their 2-year-old daughter Wyatt Isabelle has probably been thinking to herself, “I hope they give that baby a worse name than me, I hope they give that baby a worse name than me.”

Mila birthed out a boy and I was hoping that they’d name him Earp. But KuKu didn’t do that and instead, they paid tribute to Dimitri Marick from All My Children and Amber Portwood from Teen Mom by naming him Dimitri Portwood! The baby name news was dropped on Ashton Kutcher’s site A Plus today:

Today, A Plus is happy to announce that Dimitri Portwood Kutcher was born at 1:21 a.m. on November 30, weighing 8 pounds and 15 ounces. Dimitri is the couple’s second child, after having their daughter Wyatt in October of 2014.

Mila was born in Ukraine and speaks fluent Russian (see: that hot video of Mila bitching out a reporter in Russian), so that explains the name Dimitri. But Demi Moore is probably looking at that name and thinking that it’s Ashton’s way of letting her know that he hasn’t let go!!!

Dimitri Portwood sounds like the name of an 80s soap opera character whose mother is a Russian socialite and whose father is a Texas oil mogul, so I love it! But poor Wyatt Isabelle didn’t get a glamorous 80s soap opera name. Somebody pass her name-changing papers so she can change her name to Ekaterina Carrington.

And here’s a stage 10 knocked up Mila in L.A. just a day before she gave birth.

Pics: Splash, ABC Daytime

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