Rachel Bilson And Hayden Christensen Have Officially Broken Up

September 20, 2017 / Posted by:

Tall glass of 2% milk Hayden Christensen and paper Dixie Cup of cucumber spa water Rachel Bilson have broken up after almost 10 years together. According to UsWeekly, they’ve been living separately for a few months with her in L.A. and him in Toronto, they now “they are completely, officially done”.

Hayden and Rachel first got together while shooting 2008’s Jumper. They got engaged that December and broke up a couple of years later before getting back together three months. Rachel had their daughter in 2014.

Your brain most likely purged every memory of the worst Star Wars movies, so I’ll remind you that Hayden’s claim to fame (besides being Mr. Summer from The O.C.) is playing Anakin Skywalker/Darth Vader. So my pet theory, is that Hayden and Rachel has been living under a particularly nasty curse put on them by Jar Jar Binks, who wanted revenge on Darth Vader and wouldn’t be satisfied until their relationship was destroyed.

It’s not the couple’s first run-in with Disney (Jar Jar Binks is Disney now, okay? curses. Their daughter, born in 2014 was named after one of the most famously cursed characters in the Disneyverse, Sleeping Beauty AKA Briar Rose.

Many people mistakenly think of Jar Jar as an innocent, if offensive side note, but in reality he is now Disney’s most notorious villains. Who do you think gave Maleficent that mirror and whispered in her ear “girl, look how fucking old you look“? He’s bestie’s with Ursula and hooks up her do whenever she oozes into town (Jar Jar is gifted hairdresser and notorious gossip). Jafar is his spades partner and everybody knows he eats Cruella De Vil’s discarded dalmatian carcasses. Jar Jar Binks is a real shady bitch.

Hopefully Rachel and Hayden can find happiness now that they are free from Jar Jar’s insidious (and let’s be honest, petty) curse.

Pic: Wenn.com

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