Things are really tough right now at the Jolie mansion. The ‘change filter’ light on the Evian Septic System For Stars & Other Richies™ has been blinking for weeks. One of the gardeners took the afternoon off and forgot to leave the fresh Tahitian gardenias in the ancillary powder room located inside the second and third floor guest bathroom. And to top it all off, Angelina Jolie’s stylist is dead, because she accidentally on purpose laid out a navy blue muumuu instead a black one for Angie’s “surprise” trip to 7-Eleven with the kids. I mean, for fucks sake, does she have to do everything herself?!?!
“I am now the breadwinner for the family so it’s time,” Jolie joked to Deadline about returning to acting after two years away. “We have been working on the script and this is going to be a really strong sequel.”
How much bread does this trick still need?! Surely she has enough for sandwiches for the entire family, french toast every morning, stuffing (cornbread and traditional) for a bajillion turkeys, and enough to fill the bike basket of every Parisian manic pixie dream-girl on the planet! While Angie may think eating bread is beneath her, she’s got to admit that if she did crave a PB&J in the night, she’d have enough on hand to slap one together. Given she could find the kitchen. And where the knives are. And could open the jar without help.
Angie reported that she’d taken time off to take care of her kids because of her “family situation,” but now she’s ready to take on Maleficent again and says, “I look forward to having some fun with that.” Angie gonna have fun, you guys! Watch out! Honestly, I enjoyed Angie as Maleficent in the first movie. Well, at least at the beginning where she was just pure evil. But then by the end, they tried to give her a heart and shit. If the sequel starts out with her being decent, then what’s the point unless she somehow regresses back into a villain? At any rate, it will be a breath of fresh air to watch Angie chewing the scenery instead of chewing on her fingernails.
Here’s more Angelina in some daytime pajamas and 2/3 of the child army at the TIFF premiere of The Breadwinner yesterday.