Since Whitney Houston’s estate popped the doody bubble that was the hologram that looked nothing like her, The Voice needed to replace that creepy duet with something, so they called in the country’s most wanted donut terrorist Ariana Grande!
Before Curly Sue (birth certificate name: Alisan Ann Porter) became America’s sweetheart once again by winning The Voice for Team Christina, her coach got into a screaming match with Ariana Grande. While dressed like a Televangelist Bratz doll, Ariana sang her new single “Into You” before going into “Dangerous Woman.” Everything was going fine until Xtina prowled out with hair that was supposed to say, “I was freshly fucked,” but instead said, “I was freshly jumped by a pack of raccoons who like to pull hair.” That hair is very “Beth Chapman after getting attacked by a swarm of bees.” That hair was a preview for the messiness that was about to go down.
After Xtina did her part, Ariana turned up the volume on her vocal cords and it became clear that it was about to become a battle of the yodels and the only casualties would be our eardrums. Ariana and Xtina trying to TKO each other with their belts starts off at around the 3:33 mark below:
Ariana Grande and Christina Aguilera teamed up on The Voice for Into You/Dangerous Woman! Incredible! ???? https://t.co/E1hx0F2FK3
— Shady Music Facts (@musicnews_shade) May 25, 2016
All those growls, runs and whooooos. It sounds like a brawl between a frog, a cat and an owl while sky diving. They sound how Xtina’s hair looks. That said, it was the performance of the night and I’d rather Xtina and donut hater fist me in the ears without lube by trying to outdo each other than listen to Gwen Stefani and Blake Shelton’s duet again.
Because we’re on the subject of Grande messes, here’s hyper troll doll Frankie Grande in a denim onesie at a Disney event earlier this month: