Besides dumb stuff like reducing your risk of heart disease and diabetes, nothing good comes out of eating healthy things. Case in point: The mutated hushpuppy we all know as Mama June had to be shuffled off to the hospital two weeks ago after she passed out in her house in Georgia. Mama June has been trying to burn off another layer of her Chalupa chins by dieting and her body apparently had the same reaction mine does when I eat broccoli that hasn’t been dipped in cheese or marannaise. It collapsed, and she’s reportedly going the Star Jones route, because dieting is dangerous for her health. I would say that Richard Simmons should come out of retirement to help Mama June, but he’s already been through too damn much.
TMZ says that Mama June has lost 90 pounds of chunk and she’s been on a diet to lose another 80 pounds. Because she’s been fainting so much, doctors think that she’s gone too far with the dieting. So later this month, Beverly Hills weight loss specialist Dr. Michael Feiz will open up the noted pedo fucker’s body and remove a huge part of her stomach. WebMD explains gastric sleeve surgery like this:
This surgery can be done by making a large incision in the abdomen (an open procedure) or by making several small incisions and using small instruments and a camera to guide the surgery (laparoscopic approach). More than half of your stomach is removed, leaving a thin vertical sleeve, or tube, that is about the size of a banana. Surgical staples keep your new stomach closed. Because part of your stomach has been removed, this is not reversible.
Since that description came from WebMD, I’m surprised it didn’t also say: “Oh…and gastric sleeve surgery will give you CANCER.”
You know, while that Dr. Feiz due has Mama June opened up, he should give her a parenting bone transplant since she obviously wasn’t born with one of those.
In other Mama June news, TMZ also says that construction workers thought they found a human skull in a well on her property. The cops investigated and ruled that it’s not a human skull. TMZ posted a video of the skull in the well and when I scrolled down to the comments, I read the first one, which made me laugh and cry at the same time.
OMG – I have a Theory.
RICHARD SIMMONS went to their house 2 years ago to help Mama and the family lose weight.
He was succeeding until they got so Ravenous they ATE HIM.
On that note, I have to run to Smart + Final to stock up on Country Crock before they declare bankruptcy since Mama June is apparently cutting back on her world-famous sketti sauce.
Here’s pictures from January of Mama June, her smaller FUPA, Pumpkin and Honey Boo Boo filming something in L.A.