No, that isn’t an Instagram filter, you peasant trash! It is the natural aura of opulence glowing off of Goopy Paltrow and Apple Martin’s face skin after getting luxury face treatments, thankyouverymuch.
The Daily Mirror has a story about how Goopy Paltrow regularly takes Chris Martin’s girl twin to get $200 facials from Hollywood beauty guru Sonya Dakar. Goopy (whose crazy stalker just got acquitted of allegedly stalking her again) apparently believes that it’s never too early to pay someone hundreds of dollars to pop your non-existent blackheads.
The Mirror also points out that Sonya Dakar’s specialities include a facial where she injects snake venom into your mug to freeze your muscles and a stem cell facial, which is apparently Goopy’s favorite kind of facial (too easy).
The source said this about Goopy and her mini-Goopy-in-training’s mother/daughter $200 beauty regimen:
“She loves it. She said ‘Mummy, you have to go only to Sonya.’ She’s so into health. Gwyneth has seen Sonya countless times and believes prevention is better than cure. She looks better than ever and thinks it is never too early to start taking care of yourself. There is nothing invasive about the facials and Apple really enjoys them. It is simply a fun mother-daughter bonding day out and something they love doing together.”
The truth is, this story doesn’t seem right at all to me and I wouldn’t be surprised if Goopy gets her team of lawyers involved. It’s kind of irresponsible journalism from The Daily Mirror. I mean, the only way Goopy would get a $200 facial is if she lost her fortune and became a poor! The Mirror must have screwed up and didn’t add a zero or two to that price. I doubt that Goopy would let anything that doesn’t cost at least 4 figures touch her face or her daughter’s face. And if Apple Martin went to Sonya Dakar and asked for a treatment that cost only $200, Goopy would immediately clutch her own bony chest, gasp and apologize to the staff while shuffling her daughter out the door in embarrassment. “Dear God above, I’ve failed as a mum” is what she’d say as she ran out and hid her face in shame over the fact that one of her own children asked for a treatment that a poor person can practically afford!