Somewhere, Kanye West is internally raging while punching his head because he’s mad at his brain for not coming up with this idea. He wishes he would’ve been the first celebrity mess to have his post-fuck selfie on the cover of a magazine. No, his post-fuck selfie wouldn’t have been with Kim Kartrashian. It would’ve been with his mirror after he jacked off all over it.
Lady CaCa was the guest editor of V Magazine’s pre-Spring issue. The issue is $50 (!!!!) and all profits will go to her Born This Way Foundation. Gaga decided to do 16 covers for the issue and many of them feature her face including this one of her and her piece Taylor Kinney posing naked for a selfie after boning on a canvas. Gaga explained the making of their fuck juices art piece and as expected, it’s pretension covered in eye roll fuel:
“We made love on this canvas on a Sunday in Chicago. We made love amidst chaos. We talked about shootings. We made love amidst terrorism. And we talked about how people’s hearts are also suffering all over the world as they watch and witness a swell of violence. We made love amidst violence.
I could not complete the covers of this issue without relinquishing one to an important cause. Taylor and I talk all the time about our unique existence on this earth. How can we use our creativity to heal people? Since we first met, Taylor’s been painting and drawing all over me. Years ago, when we were secretly living in San Diego and crashing on the floor of a beach shack, we never wore shoes. He told me he wanted to make love to me on a canvas. And though he made many murals on my body in the wee, small hours of our stoked, gypsy mornings with our friends, for whatever reason we never got around to it.”
So basically, they do a lot of Ecstasy, right?
That sounds tiring. I mean, most of us probably just want to get it in good and then cuddle with our piece while watching HGTV as we eat cold fried chicken together. But Gaga and Taylor are fucking on paint and taking post-sex selfies and between all of that they’re talking about shootings and sadness. Who in the hell talks about shootings in between boning? That is some not right dirty talk.
But seriously, I hope this doesn’t give Hollywood’s premiere performance artiste Shia LaBeouf any ideas, because we really don’t need portraits painted with his dick cheese.
Pics: V Magazine