Proving once again that mountains of money and fame can turn a toddler into a real insufferable thorn stuck in humanity’s ass lips, Justin Bieber typed out an “F U HATERZ!” rant on Instagram against the media for saying that his management and family are going to put him in rehab, because they think he’s losing it. This was a good idea, because nothing shows that you’ve got it together like a rambling, typo-filled, delusional rant of mega douche proportions.
The Biebs shat out the rant on Instagram earlier today, but one of his babysitters quickly deleted it and replaced it with a message that was slightly less douchey. But in his original rant, Bieber tells the media to suck on the lumpiest part of his diaper, because his piggy bank is stuffed to the top and his head is screwed on straight. Justin Bieber knows the latter part is 100% true, because he just had his head re-tightened at the Baby Alive factory. The Biebs also really told the intervention experts when he said that he doesn’t need rehab, because he’s 19 and a huge star. And somebody should turn the garden hose on White Oprah, who is probably passed out drunk on the front lawn, because she’s going to need to come at the Biebs for hating on her innocent child.
Here’s the Biebs’ rant and I can’t make fun of his typos. I make more typos and I’m sure it’s not easy using Speak & Spell to edit your rants. via ET
“I’m tired of all the countless lies in the press right now. Saying I’m going to rehab and how my family is disappointed in me. My family is beyond proud. If Anyone believes i need rehab thats their own stupidity lol I’m 19 with 5 number one albums, 19 and I’ve seen the whole world. 19 and I’ve accomplished more than I could’ve ever dreamed of, i’m 19 and it must be scary to some people to think that this is just the beginning. I know my talent level and i know i got my head on straight. i know who i am and i know who i’m not My messege is to to believe. I honestly don’t care if you don’t believe in me because I believe in me, and look where that’s gotten me so far.. I’m writing this with a smile on my face and love in my heart.
Letting u know first hand how I feel rather than have these story linger. I’m a good person with a big heart. And don’t think I deserve all of this negative press I’ve worked my ass off to get where I am and my hard work doesn’t stop here. i’m growing up finding myself while having people watch me and criticise me everyday i think im doing pretty damn good. And to those comparing me to Lindsey Lohan. Look at her 2012 tax statements.”
Yeah, the Biebs’ transformation into Aaron Carter is right on schedule. Damn at that last line. The Beliebers must’ve slid off their high chairs when their mommies read them that line.
I can’t wait for Lindsay Lohan to file a $100 billion lawsuit against this entitled douche for using her name for publicity and slandering her pristine image as a responsible, tax-paying citizen. And I hope she wins. Screw Justin Bieber for making me feel bad for Lindsay Lohan for five seconds.
And TMZ has screen shots of the Biebs’ original rant if you want to see it.